Chapter 8: Infidelity (1)

Derailed

Dawn is vast

The city has not yet woken up. The milky white morning mist flows. The houses and the roads in front of you seem to be shady. The surroundings are surprisingly quiet. You can almost hear the sound of dew drops falling from the flowers and trees.

Yu was wearing sportswear all over, and the Xiaofeng blew towards him was a bit chilling, which made him tremble for a moment.

Qingxiao locked the door and turned around and saw his figure holding his arms tightly to keep warm. Qingxiao patted his shoulder. He shook immediately

Qingxiao sighed in her heart, but she did not show it on her face. She smiled and said: Morning jogging is indispensable. Your body needs further recovery. Especially if you need to do more outdoor exercise, there are fewer people in the morning. I will jog with you slowly. No need to speed, it is good to just walk around.

Yu whispered: I understand

Qingxiao stared at him and said: But are you afraid?

Yu lowered his head and didn't say anything

Qingxiao lifted his chin and said: Tell me to tell me all your feelings

Feather teeth are quacking, wanting to say something, but they are a little indescribable

Qingxiao waited for a while, slowed down her tone and said: Close your eyes and don’t look at my face right, that’s how you can say what you think in your heart at will, just like talking to a tree hole.

Yu closed his eyes, and it was pitch black in front of him. He could only feel the man's warm hand touching his chin.

He knew that the man had good intentions, and he could tell his feelings without any precautions, but something always seemed to be blocking his throat, preventing him from expressing himself to the fullest. In those unbearable days in the past, he was forced to reveal his worries more than once because he could not have self and privacy, but he was rarely allowed to express his feelings. He was told that his role was to please others, and his feelings were not important, and no one was interested in it.

Over time, the door that leads from his heart to the outside world has rusted. No matter how he wants to change, he always habitually seals it tightly, locking all the sentences in his heart and swelling.

Qingxiao's voice became severe: I said, you must tell me what you are saying in your heart, and you cannot hide it

Yes, he shouldn't hide it, he just needs to say it out

He took a deep breath and tried to search for words in his mind, thinking about how to express the sudden sound of the sound of the sound, crisp and loud, and half of his face hurt a little hotly. He was stunned for a while before he realized that he was slapped in the face.

What are you thinking, tell me! In the darkness, the voice was incomparable majesty and coldness, which made him unable to help but burst into tears in his eyes.

Say! Another slap

The humiliation contained in slapping is far greater than physical harm. Especially the person who gave it was Qingxiao, who raised his hand to cover his face, and his whole body was trembling due to humiliation. He hated being beaten and hated standing by the road without dignity and being slapped by Qingxiao like a child who did something wrong.

In this quiet morning, the slap sounded so clear. What if someone along the way?

Do you say it? The man asked coldly again, his hand threateningly brushing his cheek that was still aching faintly

Yes, I'm afraid! He rushed out without thinking, not wanting that hand to fall on his face again

What are you afraid of?

It's very cold in the morning!

What else?

It's very dark, foggy, and I can't see the road clearly. I feel afraid of meeting someone. I wonder if they will hurt me...

Once he said it, the following words came out smoothly. He continued to say it on his own, and suddenly he felt his body tightly and was hugged tightly into his arms. His whole body was stiff and his tongue was knotted: Qing... Qingqing Xiao...

OK, open your eyes, I'm here, the man whispers softly

He opened his eyes tremblingly, and what caught his eye was Qingxiao's smiling face. The lines with clear contours became softer, and his eyes were praised and comforted.

Qingxiao? He hesitated

Now I know, you are afraid because you are not familiar with the environment and are afraid of contacting people, right?

Yes

But I'm here and I hope you can practice more, you will do it for me, right?

Those eyes stared at him, calm and gentle, and he murmured: Of course

Qingxiao smiled, held his face up, and whispered: I will always be here, run in front of you, you just need to follow me, look at me, don't think about anything else, can you do it?

He felt dizzy and nodded blankly. He seemed to have withdrawn. He was rolled into the lingering mist and rose into the deep and white sky. It seemed that someone was chuckling, or just his illusion

The fog is still thick, and the air is filled with the chill of dawn, but he has gradually stopped trembling because Qingxiao was holding him, which was the only warmth he could get and the only connection he had with this world.

Look at me, follow me and don’t think about how cold the wind is, what kind of people and things you will encounter. Just look at me and think about me and understand?

He nodded obediently: OK

Qingxiao let him go and he suddenly felt cold, standing in the local area, at a loss

But seeing Qingxiao running a few steps in front, turned around and smiled at him, signaling him to follow

He was stunned, with thick mist surrounding him, and surrounded him. He didn't know what was hidden in the half-light and half-dark light. Qingxiao had already run forward. Although it was not fast, his figure seemed to disappear in the blink of an eye.

He was shocked and immediately followed

The mist was very big and white mist rushed past him, as if the spring tide of melting snow was usually familiar like flowers and trees, houses, and the street trees on both sides seemed extremely hideous in the turbulent fog, and the black wings were like ghosts.

The damp mist and the dark sky light made his back feel cold

Only by trying to keep up with Qingxiao can he overcome the fear in his heart

Qingxiao ran very slowly, and could almost be said to be stroking, but he still couldn't catch up with him.

His legs were still not very effective, and his running posture was awkward and clumsy. I hope that Qingxiao could look back and find out his embarrassment, but Qingxiao never looked back, leaving only a back for him to chase after him

He had no choice but to give up and stumbled behind him

Because there is no expectation, there will be no disappointment

Every time he feels too tired and can't help but breathe, Qingxiao will stop for a moment as if he has sensed something and let him catch up.

So he knew that Kiyoko had been waiting for his thoughts to comfort him, and his fear was much lessened.

Look at me, follow me and don't think about how cold the wind is, what kind of people and things you will encounter, just look at me and think about me

That was Qingxiao's request, he had to do it

He stared at Qingxiao's back with all his attention, no longer caring about the rustling sound of the wind blowing through the leaves, no longer thinking about what the ghostly shadow in the white mist was, his heart gradually calmed down

Qingxiao's pace was stable and regular. The tall figure broke through the white fog and drew a clear path in front of him. He followed him step by step. The wind had become softer without realizing it. Perhaps it was because the movement produced heat, or perhaps it was just because the wind was blocked by Qingxiao.

The sportswear soaked in cold sweat was tightly pressed against his body, and was warmed by his body.

He began to feel the warmth, which came from his own body temperature

Breathing has become even. He stared at the back of the man in front of him. The world outside gradually faded away like this slowly thin fog

In this white mist morning, all the scenery was as unreal as a dream. He only knew that the man in front was real and could rely on, blocking the cold wind for him in front of him.

All he could see, hear, and feel was the vague figure in front of him.

Baiwu tear open in front of them, and he followed the man without saying a word, feeling confused and determined what the way forward was. He no longer needed to know, no matter whether what is waiting for him is heaven or hell, as long as they are together

He didn't know how long he had run away, and the fog had already bleached from the tip of his nose. Only traces of smoke were left. The dark night retreated inch by inch, revealing the grass covered with dew, the sleepy trees, and the small puddles filled with water... The world is getting brighter and brighter, just like his state of mind

Kiyoko turned around with a smile, waiting for Yu to run to him and said: How do you feel? Are you okay?

He blushed and nodded

Qingxiao's eyes turned and said: So now you run in front and I follow you, can you do it?

He shook Qingxiao and two sharp eyes pressed straight towards him. Although he was smiling, there was a power that could not be defied. He couldn't help but bow his head and said: OK

The road is still the same road, and the scenery is still the same scenery, but there is suddenly no reference in front of him. He is a little nervous and concentrates on staring at the road. The road is like a strange geometric line. He leads to an unknown place and tries his best to be calm, but he still can't help but secretly look back at Qingxiao.

Kiyoko was behind him, running slowly, he breathed a sigh of relief and continued to run forward. He felt that Kiyoko's eyes were always staring at him. Between the two, there seemed to be an invisible line.

He didn't know how to describe this feeling and every move was manipulated by the other person's sight. This was a kind of restraint he tried to break free, but inexplicably made him feel at ease, because he knew that someone was caring about him and would pull him back when he was out of the track to bind him but safe, free but empty. He didn't know which one was the real attraction.

He felt a mess in his heart. A figure appeared at the corner in front of him. He was running towards him in a shocked and instinctively afraid, but Qingxiao was behind him and he could not retreat.

The man was getting closer and closer to him. He could see clearly that it was a young woman, and he was wearing sportswear. He was wearing morning running. The distance between the two sides was approaching quickly. He was stiff all over and his muscles were tightened.

At this time, the woman had already run to him, with a bright smile, and greeted him: Hi, good morning!

He didn't know how to deal with it, so he forced a smile. The woman had already passed by him. The breeze blew, as soft as a baby's breath

He breathed a sigh of relief. This was the first time he had physical contact with someone other than Qingxiao without feeling afraid. Thinking about it carefully, there seemed to be nothing to be afraid of. He lowered his head and savored the woman's smile, and the corners of his lips unconsciously raised.

Actually, there is nothing scary about physical contact, right? Qingxiao's chuckling came from his ears. He looked up and saw Qingxiao staring at him gently, his narrow eyes as bright as stars.

I...you... he hesitated and didn't know what to say. He thought about it and said seriously. That's because you are here, I feel at ease.

He rarely said such numb words, and his cheeks were flushed with shame after he said that, but this rare intimate words did not attract Kiyoshi's special attention. The eyes stared at him intently. The light in his eyes was unpredictable for a long time. Kiyoshi sighed deeply and pulled his hand: You... Very good, you did a good job today.

He stared at Yu, wanted to speak but stopped, and said: ...Well, close your eyes, I want to reward you

Yu looked at him trustfully and closed his eyes tamely

Qingxiao whispered: Are you afraid of following me with your eyes closed?

Yu smiled, his lips curled up and said: No, I know you will never hurt me

Qingxiao let out an inaudible sigh, then smiled and said: OK, come with me

I feel like they are walking on a high slope and haven't walked for long. Qing Xiaodao: OK, now you can open your eyes

Yu opened his eyes and was stunned. They were standing on a mound, and they were still immersed in silence. But the sky had already shined with light and dawn like flowers blooming, expanding layer by layer. The glow of light was spreading, showing a wonderful lilac color, and gradually dyed into scarlet shadows. The grass and trees were all revealed with fresh and tender green colors due to the brighter sky light.

The earth is awakening

The silent expectation filled the sky and the earth with stronger light. The sun finally jumped out of the clouds, spraying out golden flames. The damp and cold curtain of night was completely turned over at this moment. The world suddenly became vivid and vivid. Even the dewdrops on the grass blades looked particularly crystal clear under the reflection of the dawn, like a string of beautiful gems.

It was the eternal sunrise scene. Yu held his breath and stared blankly at the east. His mood, which could not speak for a while, seemed to become brighter as the night faded away.

I think you haven't seen the sunrise for a long time. Qingxiao's voice is sad and gentle. I often think that those who are used to the darkness will feel very different if they can see the sunrise.

Yu was silent for a while and murmured: I have not seen Sunrise for a long time, especially when I feel it now...

He closed his eyes, as if he wanted to imprint this scene in his heart. After a while, a smile appeared on his lips and whispered: Is this the reward you gave me?

Kiyoko smiled lightly, and wrote a kiss on his cheek, saying: This is the reward you won for yourself. The scenery in the morning is beautiful, not just darkness and thick fog, right?

Yu looked around, his eyes were clear and bright as before, and he slowly said: Yes, the scenery in the morning was beautiful

********************

The scenery in the morning is beautiful

This line of words was written on the white page, like a mysterious spell feather staring at the line of words, and after a while, another sentence was added below: The sun, the grass, and those people... Everything is beautiful

That was the task assigned by Qingxiao, who asked him to write a diary every day and especially write down what made him happy.

If you are not used to speaking, you can write down your feelings in your heart. If you have something unhappy, you can write it down and then use a stroke to draw it off or simply tear it off and burn it. This way I will feel less distressed in my heart. I have tried this method myself. It is very useful.

Qingxiao said seriously: However, you have to remember to remember at least one thing that makes you happy every day, which is very important

Such a request made him dumbfounded: If it hadn't been done like this?

How could it not be? Qingxiao looked patiently explaining to the children, saying, the flowers you planted bloomed, the leaves turned green, the rice I made today is delicious... As long as you think about it carefully, you will definitely find you and you can choose to show me these records. Of course, if you don’t want to show me, it’s okay to save them as your own little secret

Qingxiao smiled and said: So you don’t have to worry about it, just write whatever you want.

He still remembers the soft smile on Qingxiao's face at that time, but when he handed over the diary tremblingly, he still suffered a merciless and ten-minded attempt.

The sky is blue and the leaves are green... These are the things that make you happy? Qingxiao was so angry that she couldn't speak. Are you just perfunctory to me?

But these are really things that make me happy... He argued quietly

I won’t write anything I said, right? Qingxiao let go of the preview and said indefinitely discouragedly. When you write it down tomorrow, you must remember something that directly concerns you. What is the scenery that is not very good!

A matter that directly concerns himself... Yu thought for a while, remembered the kiss that Kiyoko printed on his cheek in the morning, and felt warm in his heart, solemnly writing:

Qingxiao loves me very much

He looked at the newly written words, and his face gradually turned red. This diary must not be shown to Qingxiao. He thought

You seem to have something you forgot to do today. Qingxiao pushed the door and saw him putting his diary into the drawer.

Well, I don't want to show you the diary today, he whispered with a red face

Qingxiao's eyes narrowed and he said: Why?

He was a little shy and lowered his head and said: I just don't want to

Qingxiao stared at him and said lightly: Take it here

The cold tone surprised him a little, and he looked up and said: But... you said I can't show you

Qingxiao's eyes, sharp and concentrating eyes, said: Now I have changed my mind and if I don't check, how can I know if you are perfunctory to me?

He stared at Kiyoko in a daze, finally retreated under that gaze, and whispered: Sorry

So the words appeared in front of Qingxiao in a dignified manner. He felt all the blood flowing up his head, and he closed his eyes and felt ashamed.

He slowly opened his eyes when he thought deeply, and looked at him with complex eyes.

There is nothing to be shy about this. Qingxiao said at the end, with an arc on his lips, a gentle voice. I am very happy that you could write this way.