Chapter 2 Sakura

Yingying, why are you here...

Chen Yingying is my sister.

Although we are not related by blood, she is the one I really treat as my own sister when I grow up.

Yingying's eyes were still on my face, as cold as two icy ripples.

She kept looking at me, as if she wanted to see me through from the inside out.

It took a long time to hear her cold voice: The weather is not good today, I am afraid that you will not be able to go back, so I will come to pick you up.

This way... did you come alone?How did Ah come about? Such heavy snow...

I was a little nervous because I didn't tell her what day I would come back.

And judging from the timing of her appearance, the contact just now is more like testing me than caring, to test whether I will tell her the truth.

Is she testing me?I thought to myself, and the smile on my face couldn't help but become bitter.

Actually, what qualifications do I have to think like this? After all, I am the one who cheated her the most.

While I was thinking about these things, Yingying was still looking at me. She didn't say a word or make a sound. She just looked at me and looked straight at me.

Her gaze made me feel more distressed than the spicy words. I could only raise my hand to block it, and then tighten the zipper of my coat and keep it away from her gaze.

That, that, Yingying...

And just when I hadn't organized my language, a sudden impact came from my face.

Someone hit me.

No, this is not a collision. The touch from my waist tells me that this is another action with completely different meanings.

The moment I turned my head away, Yingying rushed to me and hugged me.

Her voice also showed obvious fluctuations for the first time. The trembling, but not because of the cold voice at this time, rang slowly in the place closest to me: Brother, you are back, you are really back...

I slowly closed my eyes.

I have imagined many scenes of reuniting with my sister, and the scenes at this moment... are also among them, but they are the result I dare not imagine the least.

Because, this means that the distance between me and my sister has not been farther away, which means that she is not angry about my farewell without saying goodbye back then, which means that she is still willing to... accept me.

Accept me, who is completely incompetent and even extremely guilty.

The cold air continued to enter my lungs as I breathed, cooling my nerves.

I raised my arms, carefully placed my hand on Yingying's back, and gently hugged her.

Well, I'm back.

In just a moment, I felt my voice become very dry, as if every word I said was squeezing water from a dry sponge.

Yingying hugged my arm and tried harder because of my words.

She didn't want to raise her head, just hugged me blindly, and didn't want to say another word, but her trembling body had already told me how she felt at the moment.

She was crying, and my sister was crying because of my return.

My thoughts suddenly flew out of my body, and I stood at another high angle to start thinking about all this.

At this moment, in the eyes of outsiders, what is the relationship between me and Yingying?

We are indeed relatives. Although we have no blood relationship, the years we have lived together have long been integrated into our bodies with family affection beyond blood.

From this perspective, it would be a normal and touching scene for my sister to cry because of excitement and joy when she saw her brother who had been away from home for four years.

But there is another interpretation of this situation.

Yingying and I have no blood relationship.

Our last names are completely different. In the eyes of people who don’t understand our complex family background, we will be another more intimate relationship, right?

A young girl, seeing someone close to her appear in front of her, hugging him tightly and crying with joy, will our relationship be considered a lover?

And this is the problem.

No matter which one is explained, I can't find a reason to refute it.

I didn't even know what kind of mood Yingying, who was hugging me and still sobbing, was crying out.

Just like I still can't figure out what I think of Yingying in my heart.

Yingying is my sister, and she grew up as I watched her. The 8-year-old age difference between us made me look at her from an elder's perspective more often.

But Yingying was once mine...

elder brother.The sudden call from my ears interrupted my thoughts.

I'm here, Yingying.

Yingying paused for a while, then suddenly pushed her head against my chest and twisted it a few times.

I'm so cold...

The depression accumulated in my heart was instantly wiped out by her words, and with a laughing and crying expression, I patted her head and said: Who asked you to wear such a thin dress?You have to be gentle and not warm, now you know it's cold?

Yingying did not avoid my movements at all, and I began to subconsciously caress her long hair.

No, I can't do this!

I'm...

The conditioned reflex of my body made me think vigilantly after a few seconds, but Yingying did not say anything. She even showed a momentum to stay in my arms.

Okay, get up quickly, you are not young anymore, and you still want me to carry you away with me?

I could only use these words that obviously belong to my elders to conceal my inner wave, and after hearing this sentence from me, Yingying slowly left my arms.

Ha... I couldn't help but breathe a sigh of relief.

If I continue to be intimate like this, I will really not be able to figure out the boundary in my heart.

Let's go, Sakura.Didn’t you say it was cold?Let's go quickly... By the way, how did you come from Ah?Take a bus?

Yingying followed me step by step, like a puppy.

I drove here.

Oh...Ah?

I stopped suddenly and turned to look at her.

What's wrong, brother?

I took a look at the road next to me and could no longer see the road surface.

The road surface that should have been black and gray had long been covered with a thick layer of white snow.

You... drove by yourself?

For Ah.

When did you get the driver's license Ah?Oh, by the way, you mentioned it to me last year.No, you drove so far alone in your car?

I was really a little surprised, not only because Yingying actually drove to pick me up alone, but more importantly, she was driving on the road alone in a dangerous snowy day.

And Yingying's answer surprised me even more.

When I drove, there wasn't much snow on the road...

Wait a moment.In my heart, I recalled the weather information I saw on the train. The snow seemed to have started falling since noon.

Yingying, when are you here at the train station to wait for my Ah?

When she heard my question, Yingying did not answer, but turned her head away and accelerated her steps beyond me.

Hello, Yingying!

Don't ask this, go back quickly, brother.

As expected, she didn't want to answer this question... I understood Yingying's thoughts and stopped asking.

But after coming to the parking lot next to the train station, another question was placed in front of us.

Due to heavy snow, the intercity highway connecting the high-speed rail station and the city is closed.

It was originally a 3 kilometers away from the expressway, but now it is nearly half the distance. It is snowing. The ordinary roads under the expressway lack lighting, so it is not suitable for walking at night, so it is not a good choice now.

Yingying, it seems that she can’t go back today, so let’s find a place first and put the car in...

Before I could finish my sentence, Yingying opened the car door and sat directly in the driver's seat.

Sakura...

Brother, come up and I'll take you back.

I didn't get in the car, but directly held Yingying's hand holding the car key and said: I said it's too late today, and the road is full of snow and the expressway is blocked. Are you afraid of something happening?

What's wrong?Brother is with me.

The words that Yingying muttered in a low voice clearly reached my ears.

My heartbeat suddenly accelerated, and I couldn't help but increase my strength by holding Yingying's hand: Don't say stupid things!Be obedient and give me the car keys!

Yingying also increased her strength to resist. Although she failed to hold the key and was snatched away by me, she turned her head and stared at me with her eyes.

Her eyes instantly evoked my memories...the kind of sadness with helplessness, and helplessness with despair.

The scolding I was about to say changed instantly. By the time I said it, only two words were left: Yingying...

But Yingying turned her head after I spoke and deliberately did not look at my eyes.

You hurt me, brother.

Her voice changed back, to the cold, transparent, and unexposed emotional voice I heard at the beginning through the phone.

Me, I...

I was speechless and couldn't organize the right language.

In the end, I can only say a pale and powerless defense: I am just worried about you, I'm sorry...

Yingying still turned her head, not letting me see the expression on her face.

Yingying, listen to me, I know you want to go back early, but it’s too late today, and it’s too dangerous to drive on the road, so you think about it for yourself...

I could only continue to show off my kindness and preach, but Yingying still looked unmoved.

elder brother……

Um?I didn't hear what you said clearly.

Yingying raised her voice and said: Brother, have you never thought about going home?

I was stunned for a moment, but immediately retorted: What did you say? Haven’t I all been back?

Then why don’t you tell me when you will be back and when will you arrive?Are you afraid that I will pick you up, or are you afraid of seeing me?

I was speechless for a moment, and every word from Yingying hit my heart.

Me, I'm not afraid of seeing you...

At this time, I had to move out the excuse I used to deceive her to excuse myself again.

Yingying, I am afraid... your mother, I am afraid that she will disagree, so I hide it from you.

My mom agreed.

Um?What did you say?

Yingying finally turned her head, looked at me, and said word by word: I said, my mother agreed.She told me the news that you want to come back today.

I couldn't help but hold my breath, and my heart caused endless waves because of Yingying's simple words.

Ah, this is Ah...Isn't that good? She is no longer angry, I can go back...

Brother, are you really planning to go home?

But Yingying interrupted me directly here.

Me, I never said I won't go home Ah...

Don't lie to me, brother.If I don't come to you, you will definitely plan to live outside all the time, and at most you can go home and take a look.This is the case every time you lie to me. Brother, your lying is too obvious, and I can see through it at a glance.

I didn't know what to say, so I could only subconsciously touch the bridge of my nose.

My little movement also fell completely in Yingying's eyes. She watched me finish this action, and then added coldly: This little movement is the same, you will do it every time you are nervous.

Ah… completely seen through Ah.

I can't even smile bitterly.

To be honest, this result was not beyond my expectations.

Although Yingying is younger than me, even Sister Juan, who is my only two relatives, may not have as much mother as her.

She was only 12 years old when she came to my house, and she has been following my butt ever since, almost as much as I do.

She and I went to the same middle school, entered the same high school, got into the same university, and even studied the same major.

In this world, there may be no one who knows me better than Yingying.

I face her like a transparent one, and she could see the meaning behind my every move.

But even so, I still have something to hide from her.

I looked at Yingying and thought about the possibility that the secret had been known to her in my heart.

In the four years since I left, Yingying has also changed a lot.

She grew taller and changed into a more mature hairstyle, but her face was thinner than when she was just adult.

I don’t know if Yingying has further investigated the real reason for my departure in the past four years, but seeing that she has not completely shown up to me, she should still not know.

This is not surprising. Even I still keep that secret. I don’t believe that Sister Juan will easily tell Yingying, who will be affected the most in this matter.

But... this does not rule out the possibility that Yingying actually knew it but pretended not to know it.

After all, the secret was exposed not only meant the collapse of my relationship with her, but also represented the collapse of the family she valued the most.

I sighed.

Yingying, it’s not that I don’t want to go home... I just don’t know how to face your mother.

This is my true words. Facing Yingying at this moment, I can no longer say a lie, but I also did not express all my thoughts.

My words obviously touched Yingying, and her voice lowered, and her tone was no longer so cold, with a hint of warmth: I know, I am actually afraid that she will be unable to think about it anymore.

I nodded, and Yingying's words also came into my heart.

But brother... do we really have to separate?Although I call you brother, we are not related by blood!The law allows us to be together, why doesn’t she accept it…

I hugged Yingying and stopped her from talking further.

Yingying, you should also think more about your mother.

Yingying did not break free from my arms, which was a good sign, so I continued to say it.

In your mother's eyes, I am her son. Although I have never called her mother, I also regard her as a relative in my heart.Yingying, you also know that my mother passed away early. I am very grateful that your mother can take care of me. If it weren't for her, I wouldn't even have it today. So... I can understand her attitude towards us. After all, in her opinion, we are brothers and sisters, and it's still too inappropriate.

Yingying snuggled in my arms. She kept listening to me obediently before she spoke: I know, I know.

I patted her body lightly and said in the gentlest voice: It's okay, Yingying.Even if she doesn't agree, I'm still your brother, right?

But my words made Yingying stiffen her body.

Sakura?

Can't you be a brother?

What are you talking about, a kid?

I said, can’t you be a brother?

Yingying pushed me away, and her eyes looked at me again, and my firm gaze made me tremble in my heart.

Gao Yu.

My hands trembled, and only in one case would Yingying call me by my name.

Don't make a fuss, I'm your brother, how can I just call my name like this?

Yingying was not moved at all. She looked at me straight and said: Do you know what I mean.

There is no way to retreat... It's my situation at this moment.

Yingying, I am your brother...

Yes, you are my brother, but you are also my first man!My only man!

Yingying interrupted me, and her words were like a knife, inserted into my chest.

I couldn't help but stop looking at her and stopped looking at her: That's all, something happened in the past... I did something wrong at that time, and I regretted it too.

regret?

Yingying seemed to be stimulated by the words in my words, and her voice began to become sharp overall.

Why do you regret it?Do you think you harmed me?But I have told you a long time ago that I am willing!I am willing to do it myself, I have been willing to do it long ago!

I pursed my lips and didn't make any sound.

elder brother……

Yingying looked at me, and a smile suddenly appeared on her face.A very weird smile.

She picked up a trace of her hair and said to me: Do you know why I want to cut my hair?

I could only shake my head.

In my impression, Yingying has always been long hair, but now she has cut short hair that is shoulder-length, and there are traces of dyeing hair.

These are things that Yingying would not do in my impression.

Brother, do you know... After you left, my mom broke up, we had a big fight, and then I moved out.

My heart moved. These are things that Sister Juan had never mentioned to me.

Yingying continued: You didn’t come back after you left. I was angry with her, and I never went home... I spent four years in college.

I sighed. With Yingying's personality, I was not surprised that she did such a thing.

Yingying, why bother you? Juan...Aunt Chen is your mother after all, and she is all for your own good.

However, my persuasion did not work at all. Yingying coldly said: For my own good, she is going to drive you away?

I could only continue to sigh, and I was completely speechless about it.

My hair was cut in my sophomore year.

Yingying returned to the topic of her hairstyle changes. She wrapped her fingers around her hair and continued, "I actually felt very distressed when I cut this hairstyle, because you said that you like the long hair the most."

This is indeed what I said, but I have already remembered it myself, but Yingying has always remembered it.

That year was my most desperate time. I thought I would never see you again, and I didn’t want to go back to that house and see her again... So, I was like changing myself and wanting to forget these things.

Yingying suddenly raised her head and stared at me and said: Brother, am I good-looking now?

I don’t understand the intention of her asking, but I must admit that Yingying looks much more mature now, and her charm is even more outstanding when she loses her childishness.

Yingying, you have always been the best in my eyes.

Yingying's lips twitched, but it was not a happy smile.

It's Ah, that person... also said that I look better than before.

That person?The sudden appearance of the character in Yingying's mouth made me feel alert, who is that person?And from Yingying's tone, she seemed to be the opposite sex the same as me.

The change in my facial expression was completely seen by Yingying. She squinted her eyes and said the last sentence.

Haven't I told you?I have a boyfriend, brother.

A short sentence exploded in my ears like a thunderbolt.

Yingying has a boyfriend, does she have a boyfriend?No, this is normal. She went to another place to go to college for four years. She is such an excellent girl. There will definitely be many men who like her and pursue her.

but……

Why do I feel so shaken?

When my expression was gloomy because of this news, Yingying didn't say a word and kept staring at me from the side. Her gaze also doubled my pressure.

You have a boyfriend Ah... That's pretty good Ah, why didn't you tell me Ah before?

Yingying immediately replied: Brother, do you really want to know?

I don't want it, of course I don't want it.

I immediately responded in my heart, but it was just in my heart.

And the thoughts deep in my heart are even more unspeakable.

I couldn't control my inner wave. When I thought that Yingying's changes were all because of another man I didn't know at all, and when I thought that Yingying was with another man for the past four years when I was not here, I...

Brother, let's see.Yingying's voice sounded again, but this time, it was a bit meaningful.

You still care about me, brother.Otherwise, I wouldn't have had such a big reaction after hearing that I have a boyfriend. I understand everything, I know everything.

I'm very... happy because I can finally confirm that I'm not useless in my heart. You still care about me and regard me as a woman.

No, that's not what I do!

I hurriedly denied it, but my voice was so unbearable that I could hear it myself.

Then will you bless me?If I said I was going to marry him, would you bless me?

Yingying's voice was like an evil ghost in my ears at this moment.

But I really, really... can't say it.

I couldn't bless her from the bottom of my heart, and I still didn't want to see her standing next to another man in a wedding dress. Even if I just imagined that look, I felt so heartbroken that I couldn't do it myself.