elder brother……
Yingying reached out her hand and grabbed my sleeve.
In the end, she was more accustomed to calling me with this title.
Although she would also use the method of calling me directly to show the relationship between us different from ordinary brothers and sisters. Although she no longer regarded me as her brother in her heart, she still chose this name that represents family affection...
Some inertia created by time are not so easy to change.
Yingying pulled my sleeve and pulled me closer to her.
She looked at me, and although I didn't dare to look at her at all, I knew she must be watching me.
Brother, you are my man. In this life, I only recognize you as a man.
Her hands stretched out and hugged my arm.
No matter what happens in the future, can you agree to me now?
Yingying's body that was pressed against me was trembling slightly, and her voice finally turned into a crying voice.
I have to admit that facing Yingying at this moment, my originally firm heart has been shaken.but……
Yingying, calm down.
I pushed Yingying away and opened the distance between the two.
The atmosphere seemed to have become ten degrees colder in an instant.
Our affairs with you cannot be just your mother's level.
When I said these words, I didn't look at me. I was still afraid of looking at Yingying's eyes, especially now, when I just pushed her away and expressed obvious rejection to her.
But I still have to continue, I have to continue.
Yingying, if we want to be together, we must convince your mother.
I paused for a moment and began to express my heartfelt words: You know, my biological mother passed away when I was very young, and my father has been away for almost five years. I am the only two of you left in this world.I really, really don't want to lose any of you, I don't want to make things go to that point.
Yingying's breathing became a little heavy, but she did not speak up to refute me.
I vaguely felt that I had convinced her.
After all, the sentence I just said is indeed my true feelings. I am not like losing any of my only relatives, whether it is Yingying or Sister Juan, no matter which party I lose, it is unacceptable to me.
And Yingying finally spoke: OK... I understand.
Her voice was very calm, but it was not the kind of calmness with a coldness, but more like a calmness that was made up after a certain enlightenment.
Then I heard Yingying say again: Brother, what you mean is... As long as my mother nods, you will be with me, right?
Yingying's words made me unable to refute.
I could only follow her words: Well, if your mother agrees.
OK, I get it.
Yingying repeated again, this time her voice became clearer and more firmer.
I will make her nod, brother, please wait.
I finally couldn't help but turn my head and look at Yingying beside me.
There was no hesitation or sadness on her face, and all that was left was determination, just determination.
Why did it turn out like this... I clearly watched things develop step by step, but the situation finally developed to such an ending that I didn't want to see.
Sister Juan nodded and agreed to the matter between me and Yingying?
Let’s not talk about whether I can overcome that hurdle in my heart, I will only talk about Sister Juan’s side...
I can't imagine her reaction after hearing Yingying say this.
Just when I was secretly worried, Yingying unbuttoned her seat belt, opened the car door and got out of the car.
Let's go, brother.I'm about to freeze to death.
Because the key was held in my hand, the engine did not ignite and the air conditioner was not turned on.
After being reminded by Yingying, I felt that after sitting in a car without turning on the air conditioner for so long, my body was about to freeze.
But what surprised me even more was Yingying's behavior at this moment.
Yingying, where are you going?
Yingying, who was standing outside the car, sorted out Liu Hai on her forehead and said naturally: Where to go?Of course I went to find a place to live. Didn’t you say you would stay for one night if you didn’t leave today?
I realized it, but I felt ridiculous because I didn't think Yingying was convinced by me at all.
Brother, why are you still sitting in the car?Come down soon, Ah, I'm going to freeze to death!
Under Yingying's urging, I had to get out of the car as well.
It's quite cold... By the way, Yingying, have you had a meal?
No, I had time to eat at noon.
Ah?Didn't eat at noon?When did you run over Ah?
Only then did Yingying, who found out that she had missed her mouth, immediately changed the topic: AhAhAhAh, let’s not talk about this anymore, let’s find a place to go in!I'm going to die of cold!
OK, OK, it depends on you.What Ah do you want to eat?I treat you, and we can have some good food.
There is no good Ah nearby, and it’s all the time...Ah, by the way, I want to eat hot pot, let’s go and eat hot pot!This weather is the best for hot pot!
Chengcheng, I listen to you, who made me your brother?
As I said, I turned on my phone and prepared to find out where the nearest hot pot restaurant is.
At this moment, my arm was suddenly bound.
I looked at Yingying, who was holding my arm and said: Yingying, you...
Yingying didn't let me finish it, and she rushed in front of me and said: What's wrong with my sister hugging my brother?Very normal, right?
Her words really made me unable to refute.
Okay, then you hug me... Ah, the nearest hot pot restaurants seem to be one kilometer away?How about we change our homes and eat something else?
Ah…then, OK.Then what to eat?
I saw that the mutton soup restaurant next to the train station seemed to be still open...
Ah?No, I don't want to drink mutton soup!Brother, didn’t you say you would treat me to a good meal?
Is mutton soup not good?
You have the nerve to say something that costs more than ten yuan per bowl!
OK OK OK, stop making trouble.I'm just kidding. I'll definitely treat you to delicious food tomorrow, but today I really want to drink mutton soup. I can't smell this at all in the southwest. Let's follow me once today, okay?
Although Yingying still looked reluctant, she didn't say anything again.
Looking at her awkward appearance, I couldn't help but smile.
This may be the first time I have a happy smile today.
The night is getting deeper and deeper, but the snowflakes flying in the sky are not small at all, but tend to be increasingly fierce.
I guess the snow will become more severe when I wake up tomorrow morning, right?With such heavy snow and such dry and cold weather, everything is bringing back my memories.
After all, this is my hometown, a place where I have lived for twenty-four years.
And now, I... finally come back.
By the way, Yingying.Have you told your mother about it?She won't know, right?
Yingying said without looking back when she heard me say this: She knew... and she didn't care about me now, she was using all her thoughts elsewhere.
What, are you having a quarrel with your mother again?
I heard obvious complaints from Yingying's words.
Yingying had no intention of hiding it, and said straightforwardly: It's Ah, she is so busy every day now that she doesn't care about me at all.
My mind couldn't help but see the image of Sister Juan being busy in the workplace.
Speaking of which, Sister Juan has always given me the impression that she is a strong woman who has made progress in her family and career. The first time I saw her was in my father's office, and her capable image in the suit at that time was always engraved in my mind.
It's the end of the year, she must be very busy for business.You should also be more considerate of her and stop being petty.
I don't!
Yingying retorted with a long voice, then paused and said in a much lower voice: And she is not busy with work...
Um?I didn't hear what you said.
Yingying did not repeat her words, but kept walking forward with her head buried, dragging me and having to speed up.
Yingying, what's wrong with you?
Yingying ignored me and just kept walking.
I was confused and had to follow her and rush to the road, and I had to hold her from time to time to avoid slipping.
At this time, I had no idea how much impact Yingying's words hidden in her heart would have on me, on me, on her, on my relationship with Sister Juan.
********************
My sister, Chen Yingying, came to my house with her mother Chen Juan.
The year our parents officially got married, I was 18 years old, and Yingying was only 12 years old.
Yingying's mother, Chen Juan, met me much earlier than she and I.
The good relationship between Sister Juan and I also accepted this sister who was much younger than me without any psychological grudges.
I still remember when I first met Yingying, she had two thin braids and her thin figure seemed younger than her actual age. Only those big eyes were blinking and staring at me with an extremely simple look.
Yingying's eyes left a deep impression on me, and even made me remember her eyes before remembering her name.
For a while, I called her big eyes, and she didn't object. It was not until a long time later that I gradually replaced this too childish title and called her Yingying like her mother.
Yingying's family, or Sister Juan's family, is completely opposite to my family.
Sister Juan got pregnant with Yingying when she was very young, but before Yingying was born, a car accident made Sister Juan, who was less than 2 years old, become a widow.
Sister Juan rarely mentions her first husband to outsiders, but from the few words she accidentally revealed, it can be seen that Sister Juan has no feelings for him. The union of the two is completely a family arrangement, so in the end, such an unexpected result did not cause much harm to Sister Juan.
However, Yingying has a completely different meaning to Sister Juan.
Yingying has never seen her father since she was born, and Yingying's biological father and family seem to be reluctant to accept her because she is a girl.
So Sister Juan took on the responsibility of raising Yingying alone. She refused all the persuasion that she had asked her to remarry, left the countryside where she gave birth to her, and went to the city that was still a county town at that time alone.
A young, rural single mother, who is born in the country, takes her young daughter to make a living in a city where she has no relatives. The hardships can be imagined.
Yingying grew up in such an environment, and her personality couldn't help but become a little withdrawn and afraid of life.
The day before moving, Sister Juan once told me about Yingying's life experience with a worried look on her face, and asked me to be more considerate and tolerant Yingying.
In the eyes of Sister Juan at that time, it must be difficult for me to get along well with Yingying, who has an exclusive personality, and she has a gap in gender and age, right?
But the development of the relationship between Yingying and I was far beyond Sister Juan's expectations.
The estrangement of the first meeting only lasted a few days ago, Yingying became very close to me. She stuck to me almost always, even to the point where Sister Juan couldn't stand it and wanted to force her to isolate her from me.
Looking back on those days, except for the reason why I treated her with gentleness because of Sister Juan’s instructions, the age difference between us may be the real root.
When Yingying first arrived at my house, her thin and small image was completely unsightly. She was already a child who was 12 years old and was about to graduate from elementary school. My first impression of Yingying was frozen in the two points of thin and small and young.
And the relationship I think of as equal to Sister Juan also makes me unable to put Yingying in my sister's position no matter what.
In my opinion at that time, Yingying was Sister Juan's daughter. She became a family with me because of Sister Juan's relationship.
Compared to my sister, Yingying may be closer to my daughter in my heart.
And my attitude eventually affected Yingying.
Yingying's closeness to me is Yuan Sheng close to my father. Although my father is Yingying's legal stepfather, Yingying's feeling of respect when treating my father is more like treating an outsider, which is in sharp contrast to the intimacy with me.
Fortunately, my father still focused on his career as always, and his attention to Yingying was only at the level of occasionally asking me about her current situation.
Thinking about it now, it may be because of this contrast that Yingying's view of me further deviated from her. I occupied the two roles in her heart representing her father and brother, and all of this laid the groundwork for what happened to me and her later.
I am a very unmotivated person.
I once thought I would only revolve around the city where I gave birth to myself, just like my father and many of my contacts.
The idea of taking advantage of being young and going out to explore has almost never happened in my mind.
I lost my closest relatives when I was very young, and this experience has always affected me. Even if I grow up, I value the only remaining relatives around me.
The root of my unwillingness to leave home is here. Only by staying at home can I be with my relatives, protect them, and protect my own heart.
But even though I have always had this kind of love story, I had to leave my hometown four years ago, and fled to leave my hometown where I had never left for more than 20 years.
And the most direct reason... is Yingying.
As my mood came, I subconsciously stopped my eyes on Yingying's face sitting opposite me.
elder brother?
Yingying, who was breathing with the spoon, noticed my changes almost instantly, and looked up at me and said with a sound of questions.
Well, it's okay...you drink yours, don't worry about me.
I pretended to be an unintentional act just now and looked away, oh.Yingying responded and continued to fight against the big bowl of hot soup in front of her.
Looking at the cherry blossoms in front of me, a complicated bitterness arose in my heart.
Yingying's attitude towards me has almost no change from before I left without saying goodbye four years ago.
And it is this unchanged intimacy and trust that makes me feel particularly guilty and regretful.
Although my departure was forced to do anything, it was more because of my personal escape and retreat.
Yes, I have to admit this.
It is precisely because I didn’t have the courage to face Yingying, face Sister Juan, and face the result that the things I have always cherished and protected will be destroyed in front of my eyes that I gave up my principles and chose to leave.
My departure was a complete cowardly behavior.
And the one who was hurt the most by me was Yingying in front of me, my sister.mine……
Brother, what are you looking at?Is there anything dirty sticking to my face?
Yingying's voice sounded again, and I realized that I had accidentally stopped her once again after hearing her say this.
Women's intuition is always very sharp, while Yingying's sensitivity is definitely far beyond ordinary people.
In order not to make her suspicious, I had to follow Yingying's words: Um... It seems a little bit. Is there something on your chin?
Why?Is there any?
Hearing my half-true words, Yingying hurriedly threw away the spoon and tried to touch her face.
Wipe Ah with paper, will it be dirtier if you touch it with your hands?
Well...Which position is Ah?Is there any more now?Is there anything dirty on my face?
I looked at Yingying as if I looked carefully, but I didn't expect that I would actually find a red mark on the corner of her mouth.
This girl didn't pay attention to using a tissue that had already wiped her mouth to wipe her chin, right?So I pointed to the corner of my mouth and said: There is still here.
Ah?besides?Which side...
Yingying was going to get the tissue she used just now, so I had to reach out to stop her and said: Don’t use that one, I have new one here, I’ll give it to you.
But Yingying did not take the tissue I handed over, but raised her chin, approached me and closed her eyes and said: Brother, please help me wipe it.
I responded subconsciously, but I suddenly realized my reaction when my hand was already reaching towards Yingying's face.
Is this OK?Yingying looked very well-behaved at this time. Her eyelashes were trembling and her lips were slightly pursed, completely like a little girl who was acting coquettish to her lover.
But sitting opposite her, holding a tissue... I can't be said to be a qualified lover no matter what.
I don't have this qualification.
Hurry up, brother.Why are you standing there? Hurry up and help me wipe Ah off!
Maybe it was because I had hesitated for too long, Yingying was a little impatient and urged me to act quickly.
Oh, OK, come soon.
I had to throw my concerns aside, pick up a tissue and use as gentle as possible to help her wipe off the oil stains on her face.
As our skin touched each other only through a thin tissue, another sense of déjà n my mind suddenly surged.
When I was a child, because we were together the most often, I often seemed to wipe away the stains that were stuck on Yingying's face because of her poor eating habits.
And now... the familiar movements and familiar scenes in front of me suddenly felt like I was going back to the past.
And this feeling doesn't make me feel guilty, because in my heart, Yingying is just a family member, and only a family member.
OK, it's finished.
Yingying opened her eyes and smiled sweetly at me: Thank you brother.
My heartbeat instantly leaked half a beat.
No, that's not the case.
The relationship between Yingying and I can no longer go back to that kind of simple family.
The bond that maintains the two of us may also have the element of family affection, but it has long been no longer so pure.
elder brother?Why are you in a daze again? Are you too tired?
I quickly covered my face with my hands and covered my expression.
Ah, well... I might be a little tired, after all, I took the train until the evening.
Yingying also said in a concerned voice: Then let’s find a place to rest quickly, I’m already full... waiter, check out!
I'll do it.
I took out my cell phone, but Yingying pressed her shoulder.
Brother, sit and rest for a while.It’s just a meal, but I’m not without it… At worst, you can give it to me later, I’ll go and check out Ah first.
After saying that, Yingying didn't give me a chance to refute, so she took her cell phone and walked towards the cashier.
Looking at Yingying's back, I was suddenly surrounded by an inexplicable emotion.
Four years have indeed left traces on us.
When I left, Yingying was still in school. Every time she went out to have a meal, she would wait for her seat for granted. She asked me to pay the bills and would take the opportunity to blackmail me a piece of pocket money.
Now, her maturity is not only reflected in her dressing, but also the independent consciousness in her every move is unfamiliar with me.
After all, I left Ah for four years.
As the person who once watched Yingying grow up and watched her grow from a thin bean sprout to a graceful girl, as the person closest to her, I actually feel a sense of alienation at this moment.
Let's go, brother.
After paying the bill, Yingying returned to the table and looked at me who was still sitting on the chair with a little puzzled expression.
Sakura...
Um?
you……
I covered my mouth and blocked my thoughts that almost blurted out.
Just a little short of it, I told my true thoughts about Yingying in front of her.
My abnormal behavior made Yingying even more strange. She came to me and asked: What's wrong, brother, why are you always weird?I listen to what Ah you want to say to me, and you just say Ah.
No, nothing, let's go.
I took up the action of wearing a coat to cover up my embarrassment, but Yingying was a little reluctant.
no!You have to make it clear, otherwise I will not be able to sleep!
Ah, it turns out to be like this.
I clearly knew Yingying had such a character that she could ask questions, but I still pushed myself into the pit step by step.
Well... I just think you are different from four years ago.
Avoiding the important and trying to minimize the content in the words on the basis of telling the truth is my usual countermeasure for Yingying who is asking the bottom line.
oh?What's different? Tell me.
Yingying became more interested. She took a few steps back, as if she wanted me to see her whole body clearly, looking at me with half-curious and half-doubted eyes.
Well, it just...became beautiful.
My answer obviously cannot satisfy Yingying. She shouted angrily: Perfunctory!Is this just a thought?
And, and that's right... you've become more mature, and I always feel that I can't recognize you.
If I accidentally said too much of my thoughts that I didn't intend to reveal.
Don't get me wrong, I mean you have grown up. Look, aren't we missing for four years? I'll definitely feel that there have been a lot of changes...
I felt a little guilty and kept talking to hide my shake.
But Yingying seemed to have not heard these words from me. She just lowered her eyes, wrapped her fingers around her hair, and muttered to herself: Have I changed?
Sakura?
I was a little worried about her, so I approached her and looked at the expression on her face, but she suddenly hugged her without any warning.
What are you doing?
Yingying did not answer my question, but just buried her face in my chest and made a long, regular breathing sound.
elder brother……
Um?You can let go of me quickly, and there are outsiders watching.
I actually haven't changed at all.
Yingying's voice was a bit slight, but I understood the general meaning, but I didn't dare to confirm what she said hadn't changed.
Which aspect does it mean?
well.You haven't changed, you are still my sister, and you have always been my most beautiful and lovely sister, and I will never forget it.
This time, Yingying muttered a few words in the lowest voice, and I really couldn't hear it clearly.
What did you say?Yingying, I can't hear it.
Yingying let go of me. She slowly raised her head, put her face close to a few centimeters away from me, and then said: Am I just your sister?
The clear sound is spoken with beautiful colors.
I also lowered my head and looked at the cherry blossoms in front of me.
She was not afraid of my gaze and looked at me straight, but I almost instantly lost the courage to continue looking at each other.
Stop making trouble... Let's go find a place to live.
I still don't have the courage to continue this topic.
After I said this, Yingying also showed that she was beyond my expectations. She packed up her things and followed me and walked out of the restaurant gate.
But in the process, she kept holding the corner of my clothes with her hands, unwilling to part for a moment.
You can't escape.
This is not what she said in person.
But these five words seemed to have a sound, echoing in my heart.
Yingying reached out her hand and grabbed my sleeve.
In the end, she was more accustomed to calling me with this title.
Although she would also use the method of calling me directly to show the relationship between us different from ordinary brothers and sisters. Although she no longer regarded me as her brother in her heart, she still chose this name that represents family affection...
Some inertia created by time are not so easy to change.
Yingying pulled my sleeve and pulled me closer to her.
She looked at me, and although I didn't dare to look at her at all, I knew she must be watching me.
Brother, you are my man. In this life, I only recognize you as a man.
Her hands stretched out and hugged my arm.
No matter what happens in the future, can you agree to me now?
Yingying's body that was pressed against me was trembling slightly, and her voice finally turned into a crying voice.
I have to admit that facing Yingying at this moment, my originally firm heart has been shaken.but……
Yingying, calm down.
I pushed Yingying away and opened the distance between the two.
The atmosphere seemed to have become ten degrees colder in an instant.
Our affairs with you cannot be just your mother's level.
When I said these words, I didn't look at me. I was still afraid of looking at Yingying's eyes, especially now, when I just pushed her away and expressed obvious rejection to her.
But I still have to continue, I have to continue.
Yingying, if we want to be together, we must convince your mother.
I paused for a moment and began to express my heartfelt words: You know, my biological mother passed away when I was very young, and my father has been away for almost five years. I am the only two of you left in this world.I really, really don't want to lose any of you, I don't want to make things go to that point.
Yingying's breathing became a little heavy, but she did not speak up to refute me.
I vaguely felt that I had convinced her.
After all, the sentence I just said is indeed my true feelings. I am not like losing any of my only relatives, whether it is Yingying or Sister Juan, no matter which party I lose, it is unacceptable to me.
And Yingying finally spoke: OK... I understand.
Her voice was very calm, but it was not the kind of calmness with a coldness, but more like a calmness that was made up after a certain enlightenment.
Then I heard Yingying say again: Brother, what you mean is... As long as my mother nods, you will be with me, right?
Yingying's words made me unable to refute.
I could only follow her words: Well, if your mother agrees.
OK, I get it.
Yingying repeated again, this time her voice became clearer and more firmer.
I will make her nod, brother, please wait.
I finally couldn't help but turn my head and look at Yingying beside me.
There was no hesitation or sadness on her face, and all that was left was determination, just determination.
Why did it turn out like this... I clearly watched things develop step by step, but the situation finally developed to such an ending that I didn't want to see.
Sister Juan nodded and agreed to the matter between me and Yingying?
Let’s not talk about whether I can overcome that hurdle in my heart, I will only talk about Sister Juan’s side...
I can't imagine her reaction after hearing Yingying say this.
Just when I was secretly worried, Yingying unbuttoned her seat belt, opened the car door and got out of the car.
Let's go, brother.I'm about to freeze to death.
Because the key was held in my hand, the engine did not ignite and the air conditioner was not turned on.
After being reminded by Yingying, I felt that after sitting in a car without turning on the air conditioner for so long, my body was about to freeze.
But what surprised me even more was Yingying's behavior at this moment.
Yingying, where are you going?
Yingying, who was standing outside the car, sorted out Liu Hai on her forehead and said naturally: Where to go?Of course I went to find a place to live. Didn’t you say you would stay for one night if you didn’t leave today?
I realized it, but I felt ridiculous because I didn't think Yingying was convinced by me at all.
Brother, why are you still sitting in the car?Come down soon, Ah, I'm going to freeze to death!
Under Yingying's urging, I had to get out of the car as well.
It's quite cold... By the way, Yingying, have you had a meal?
No, I had time to eat at noon.
Ah?Didn't eat at noon?When did you run over Ah?
Only then did Yingying, who found out that she had missed her mouth, immediately changed the topic: AhAhAhAh, let’s not talk about this anymore, let’s find a place to go in!I'm going to die of cold!
OK, OK, it depends on you.What Ah do you want to eat?I treat you, and we can have some good food.
There is no good Ah nearby, and it’s all the time...Ah, by the way, I want to eat hot pot, let’s go and eat hot pot!This weather is the best for hot pot!
Chengcheng, I listen to you, who made me your brother?
As I said, I turned on my phone and prepared to find out where the nearest hot pot restaurant is.
At this moment, my arm was suddenly bound.
I looked at Yingying, who was holding my arm and said: Yingying, you...
Yingying didn't let me finish it, and she rushed in front of me and said: What's wrong with my sister hugging my brother?Very normal, right?
Her words really made me unable to refute.
Okay, then you hug me... Ah, the nearest hot pot restaurants seem to be one kilometer away?How about we change our homes and eat something else?
Ah…then, OK.Then what to eat?
I saw that the mutton soup restaurant next to the train station seemed to be still open...
Ah?No, I don't want to drink mutton soup!Brother, didn’t you say you would treat me to a good meal?
Is mutton soup not good?
You have the nerve to say something that costs more than ten yuan per bowl!
OK OK OK, stop making trouble.I'm just kidding. I'll definitely treat you to delicious food tomorrow, but today I really want to drink mutton soup. I can't smell this at all in the southwest. Let's follow me once today, okay?
Although Yingying still looked reluctant, she didn't say anything again.
Looking at her awkward appearance, I couldn't help but smile.
This may be the first time I have a happy smile today.
The night is getting deeper and deeper, but the snowflakes flying in the sky are not small at all, but tend to be increasingly fierce.
I guess the snow will become more severe when I wake up tomorrow morning, right?With such heavy snow and such dry and cold weather, everything is bringing back my memories.
After all, this is my hometown, a place where I have lived for twenty-four years.
And now, I... finally come back.
By the way, Yingying.Have you told your mother about it?She won't know, right?
Yingying said without looking back when she heard me say this: She knew... and she didn't care about me now, she was using all her thoughts elsewhere.
What, are you having a quarrel with your mother again?
I heard obvious complaints from Yingying's words.
Yingying had no intention of hiding it, and said straightforwardly: It's Ah, she is so busy every day now that she doesn't care about me at all.
My mind couldn't help but see the image of Sister Juan being busy in the workplace.
Speaking of which, Sister Juan has always given me the impression that she is a strong woman who has made progress in her family and career. The first time I saw her was in my father's office, and her capable image in the suit at that time was always engraved in my mind.
It's the end of the year, she must be very busy for business.You should also be more considerate of her and stop being petty.
I don't!
Yingying retorted with a long voice, then paused and said in a much lower voice: And she is not busy with work...
Um?I didn't hear what you said.
Yingying did not repeat her words, but kept walking forward with her head buried, dragging me and having to speed up.
Yingying, what's wrong with you?
Yingying ignored me and just kept walking.
I was confused and had to follow her and rush to the road, and I had to hold her from time to time to avoid slipping.
At this time, I had no idea how much impact Yingying's words hidden in her heart would have on me, on me, on her, on my relationship with Sister Juan.
********************
My sister, Chen Yingying, came to my house with her mother Chen Juan.
The year our parents officially got married, I was 18 years old, and Yingying was only 12 years old.
Yingying's mother, Chen Juan, met me much earlier than she and I.
The good relationship between Sister Juan and I also accepted this sister who was much younger than me without any psychological grudges.
I still remember when I first met Yingying, she had two thin braids and her thin figure seemed younger than her actual age. Only those big eyes were blinking and staring at me with an extremely simple look.
Yingying's eyes left a deep impression on me, and even made me remember her eyes before remembering her name.
For a while, I called her big eyes, and she didn't object. It was not until a long time later that I gradually replaced this too childish title and called her Yingying like her mother.
Yingying's family, or Sister Juan's family, is completely opposite to my family.
Sister Juan got pregnant with Yingying when she was very young, but before Yingying was born, a car accident made Sister Juan, who was less than 2 years old, become a widow.
Sister Juan rarely mentions her first husband to outsiders, but from the few words she accidentally revealed, it can be seen that Sister Juan has no feelings for him. The union of the two is completely a family arrangement, so in the end, such an unexpected result did not cause much harm to Sister Juan.
However, Yingying has a completely different meaning to Sister Juan.
Yingying has never seen her father since she was born, and Yingying's biological father and family seem to be reluctant to accept her because she is a girl.
So Sister Juan took on the responsibility of raising Yingying alone. She refused all the persuasion that she had asked her to remarry, left the countryside where she gave birth to her, and went to the city that was still a county town at that time alone.
A young, rural single mother, who is born in the country, takes her young daughter to make a living in a city where she has no relatives. The hardships can be imagined.
Yingying grew up in such an environment, and her personality couldn't help but become a little withdrawn and afraid of life.
The day before moving, Sister Juan once told me about Yingying's life experience with a worried look on her face, and asked me to be more considerate and tolerant Yingying.
In the eyes of Sister Juan at that time, it must be difficult for me to get along well with Yingying, who has an exclusive personality, and she has a gap in gender and age, right?
But the development of the relationship between Yingying and I was far beyond Sister Juan's expectations.
The estrangement of the first meeting only lasted a few days ago, Yingying became very close to me. She stuck to me almost always, even to the point where Sister Juan couldn't stand it and wanted to force her to isolate her from me.
Looking back on those days, except for the reason why I treated her with gentleness because of Sister Juan’s instructions, the age difference between us may be the real root.
When Yingying first arrived at my house, her thin and small image was completely unsightly. She was already a child who was 12 years old and was about to graduate from elementary school. My first impression of Yingying was frozen in the two points of thin and small and young.
And the relationship I think of as equal to Sister Juan also makes me unable to put Yingying in my sister's position no matter what.
In my opinion at that time, Yingying was Sister Juan's daughter. She became a family with me because of Sister Juan's relationship.
Compared to my sister, Yingying may be closer to my daughter in my heart.
And my attitude eventually affected Yingying.
Yingying's closeness to me is Yuan Sheng close to my father. Although my father is Yingying's legal stepfather, Yingying's feeling of respect when treating my father is more like treating an outsider, which is in sharp contrast to the intimacy with me.
Fortunately, my father still focused on his career as always, and his attention to Yingying was only at the level of occasionally asking me about her current situation.
Thinking about it now, it may be because of this contrast that Yingying's view of me further deviated from her. I occupied the two roles in her heart representing her father and brother, and all of this laid the groundwork for what happened to me and her later.
I am a very unmotivated person.
I once thought I would only revolve around the city where I gave birth to myself, just like my father and many of my contacts.
The idea of taking advantage of being young and going out to explore has almost never happened in my mind.
I lost my closest relatives when I was very young, and this experience has always affected me. Even if I grow up, I value the only remaining relatives around me.
The root of my unwillingness to leave home is here. Only by staying at home can I be with my relatives, protect them, and protect my own heart.
But even though I have always had this kind of love story, I had to leave my hometown four years ago, and fled to leave my hometown where I had never left for more than 20 years.
And the most direct reason... is Yingying.
As my mood came, I subconsciously stopped my eyes on Yingying's face sitting opposite me.
elder brother?
Yingying, who was breathing with the spoon, noticed my changes almost instantly, and looked up at me and said with a sound of questions.
Well, it's okay...you drink yours, don't worry about me.
I pretended to be an unintentional act just now and looked away, oh.Yingying responded and continued to fight against the big bowl of hot soup in front of her.
Looking at the cherry blossoms in front of me, a complicated bitterness arose in my heart.
Yingying's attitude towards me has almost no change from before I left without saying goodbye four years ago.
And it is this unchanged intimacy and trust that makes me feel particularly guilty and regretful.
Although my departure was forced to do anything, it was more because of my personal escape and retreat.
Yes, I have to admit this.
It is precisely because I didn’t have the courage to face Yingying, face Sister Juan, and face the result that the things I have always cherished and protected will be destroyed in front of my eyes that I gave up my principles and chose to leave.
My departure was a complete cowardly behavior.
And the one who was hurt the most by me was Yingying in front of me, my sister.mine……
Brother, what are you looking at?Is there anything dirty sticking to my face?
Yingying's voice sounded again, and I realized that I had accidentally stopped her once again after hearing her say this.
Women's intuition is always very sharp, while Yingying's sensitivity is definitely far beyond ordinary people.
In order not to make her suspicious, I had to follow Yingying's words: Um... It seems a little bit. Is there something on your chin?
Why?Is there any?
Hearing my half-true words, Yingying hurriedly threw away the spoon and tried to touch her face.
Wipe Ah with paper, will it be dirtier if you touch it with your hands?
Well...Which position is Ah?Is there any more now?Is there anything dirty on my face?
I looked at Yingying as if I looked carefully, but I didn't expect that I would actually find a red mark on the corner of her mouth.
This girl didn't pay attention to using a tissue that had already wiped her mouth to wipe her chin, right?So I pointed to the corner of my mouth and said: There is still here.
Ah?besides?Which side...
Yingying was going to get the tissue she used just now, so I had to reach out to stop her and said: Don’t use that one, I have new one here, I’ll give it to you.
But Yingying did not take the tissue I handed over, but raised her chin, approached me and closed her eyes and said: Brother, please help me wipe it.
I responded subconsciously, but I suddenly realized my reaction when my hand was already reaching towards Yingying's face.
Is this OK?Yingying looked very well-behaved at this time. Her eyelashes were trembling and her lips were slightly pursed, completely like a little girl who was acting coquettish to her lover.
But sitting opposite her, holding a tissue... I can't be said to be a qualified lover no matter what.
I don't have this qualification.
Hurry up, brother.Why are you standing there? Hurry up and help me wipe Ah off!
Maybe it was because I had hesitated for too long, Yingying was a little impatient and urged me to act quickly.
Oh, OK, come soon.
I had to throw my concerns aside, pick up a tissue and use as gentle as possible to help her wipe off the oil stains on her face.
As our skin touched each other only through a thin tissue, another sense of déjà n my mind suddenly surged.
When I was a child, because we were together the most often, I often seemed to wipe away the stains that were stuck on Yingying's face because of her poor eating habits.
And now... the familiar movements and familiar scenes in front of me suddenly felt like I was going back to the past.
And this feeling doesn't make me feel guilty, because in my heart, Yingying is just a family member, and only a family member.
OK, it's finished.
Yingying opened her eyes and smiled sweetly at me: Thank you brother.
My heartbeat instantly leaked half a beat.
No, that's not the case.
The relationship between Yingying and I can no longer go back to that kind of simple family.
The bond that maintains the two of us may also have the element of family affection, but it has long been no longer so pure.
elder brother?Why are you in a daze again? Are you too tired?
I quickly covered my face with my hands and covered my expression.
Ah, well... I might be a little tired, after all, I took the train until the evening.
Yingying also said in a concerned voice: Then let’s find a place to rest quickly, I’m already full... waiter, check out!
I'll do it.
I took out my cell phone, but Yingying pressed her shoulder.
Brother, sit and rest for a while.It’s just a meal, but I’m not without it… At worst, you can give it to me later, I’ll go and check out Ah first.
After saying that, Yingying didn't give me a chance to refute, so she took her cell phone and walked towards the cashier.
Looking at Yingying's back, I was suddenly surrounded by an inexplicable emotion.
Four years have indeed left traces on us.
When I left, Yingying was still in school. Every time she went out to have a meal, she would wait for her seat for granted. She asked me to pay the bills and would take the opportunity to blackmail me a piece of pocket money.
Now, her maturity is not only reflected in her dressing, but also the independent consciousness in her every move is unfamiliar with me.
After all, I left Ah for four years.
As the person who once watched Yingying grow up and watched her grow from a thin bean sprout to a graceful girl, as the person closest to her, I actually feel a sense of alienation at this moment.
Let's go, brother.
After paying the bill, Yingying returned to the table and looked at me who was still sitting on the chair with a little puzzled expression.
Sakura...
Um?
you……
I covered my mouth and blocked my thoughts that almost blurted out.
Just a little short of it, I told my true thoughts about Yingying in front of her.
My abnormal behavior made Yingying even more strange. She came to me and asked: What's wrong, brother, why are you always weird?I listen to what Ah you want to say to me, and you just say Ah.
No, nothing, let's go.
I took up the action of wearing a coat to cover up my embarrassment, but Yingying was a little reluctant.
no!You have to make it clear, otherwise I will not be able to sleep!
Ah, it turns out to be like this.
I clearly knew Yingying had such a character that she could ask questions, but I still pushed myself into the pit step by step.
Well... I just think you are different from four years ago.
Avoiding the important and trying to minimize the content in the words on the basis of telling the truth is my usual countermeasure for Yingying who is asking the bottom line.
oh?What's different? Tell me.
Yingying became more interested. She took a few steps back, as if she wanted me to see her whole body clearly, looking at me with half-curious and half-doubted eyes.
Well, it just...became beautiful.
My answer obviously cannot satisfy Yingying. She shouted angrily: Perfunctory!Is this just a thought?
And, and that's right... you've become more mature, and I always feel that I can't recognize you.
If I accidentally said too much of my thoughts that I didn't intend to reveal.
Don't get me wrong, I mean you have grown up. Look, aren't we missing for four years? I'll definitely feel that there have been a lot of changes...
I felt a little guilty and kept talking to hide my shake.
But Yingying seemed to have not heard these words from me. She just lowered her eyes, wrapped her fingers around her hair, and muttered to herself: Have I changed?
Sakura?
I was a little worried about her, so I approached her and looked at the expression on her face, but she suddenly hugged her without any warning.
What are you doing?
Yingying did not answer my question, but just buried her face in my chest and made a long, regular breathing sound.
elder brother……
Um?You can let go of me quickly, and there are outsiders watching.
I actually haven't changed at all.
Yingying's voice was a bit slight, but I understood the general meaning, but I didn't dare to confirm what she said hadn't changed.
Which aspect does it mean?
well.You haven't changed, you are still my sister, and you have always been my most beautiful and lovely sister, and I will never forget it.
This time, Yingying muttered a few words in the lowest voice, and I really couldn't hear it clearly.
What did you say?Yingying, I can't hear it.
Yingying let go of me. She slowly raised her head, put her face close to a few centimeters away from me, and then said: Am I just your sister?
The clear sound is spoken with beautiful colors.
I also lowered my head and looked at the cherry blossoms in front of me.
She was not afraid of my gaze and looked at me straight, but I almost instantly lost the courage to continue looking at each other.
Stop making trouble... Let's go find a place to live.
I still don't have the courage to continue this topic.
After I said this, Yingying also showed that she was beyond my expectations. She packed up her things and followed me and walked out of the restaurant gate.
But in the process, she kept holding the corner of my clothes with her hands, unwilling to part for a moment.
You can't escape.
This is not what she said in person.
But these five words seemed to have a sound, echoing in my heart.
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