He reached out and gently pressed Kiyoko's hand holding the cup, Eisenberg whispered: Is it because he saved you that you are so obsessed with wanting him to recover? That's why you are so stubborn?
Is it just that the scene of you running away left a deep impression on you, so you feel that you have the responsibility to repair everything, just like you broke a vase, so you want to buy one exactly the same for compensation?
Looking straight into Kiyoko's eyes, Eisenberg asked almost forcibly: If you really like the original vase, you will cherish it and repair it instead of demanding it to restore it to its original state. But you are not
So do you really love him?
Are you sure that you will be able to save him at all costs, is it based on love or morality?
The pressing question almost made him breathless, but the last question was like a dark night light. Qingxiao didn't have to think about it and gave the answer: Of course, I always loved him, even before something happened to him!
He said anxiously, as if he wanted to prove something: I thought I fell in love with him in college. At that time, I didn’t know his true identity and his growth experience, but because of this, my feelings for him are the purest. My affection for him is based on him, not everything attached to him.
The self-response was perfect. He looked up and looked at Eisenberg in anticipation and was silent for a moment, and a smile slowly rippled on his lips: Since you don’t even know his background experience, how can you know that you are in love with a real person, not a product of your own imagination?
Qingxiao smiled and spread his hands and said: I have asked myself this question, but I have considered it many times afterwards. I do not doubt that there is any false element in my feelings. If this disaster has an impact, it will make me love him more. There is the sense of responsibility you mentioned here, but more of the strength and courage he showed in the disaster, which makes me feel that he is indeed a person worthy of my love.
Speaking of this, he paused and said seriously: I hope he can recover, because I think it's a pity that he is like this now. He was so outstanding and this was his wish. I just respect his meaning. If I can't live proudly, he would rather die. This is what he told me and promised others.
Eisenberg fell into deep thought for a while, and he sighed and said: If you promise someone else, you should do it... Do you still remember? You have promised a boy to stay away from sin forever for him.
Do you still remember his name? Simon Andrews
His voice was low and soft, but when he heard Qingxiao's ears, it was like a thundering sound of Qingxiao's having to hold on to the table and cover up his loss of composure
If he couldn't live proudly, he would rather die... The old man repeated this sentence and turned his eyes to the white clouds in the sky, saying, I don't know Yu, I heard you talk like this, his personality looks very similar to Simon, but he still survived with humiliation, but Simon really did it
He died, fulfilling his pride and your true freedom, allowing you to stay away from your family without any worries. The old man turned around and stared at Qingxiao, whose upper body was almost lying on the table, trembling all over.
Eisenberg looked at his disciple with pity and murmured: You still remember his... Of course, you remember him as a child who died in your bathtub. He would rather die than tell you that his drug use was forced by your father to misunderstand him and dislike him. He would rather have a drug addiction attack than torture into a human form than to persuade you to turn back according to your father's will...
Qingxiao suddenly said: Stop talking!
This sound came so abruptly and recklessly that the silence that followed seemed particularly deep
Qingxiao hurriedly wiped away the tears from the corners of her eyes and whispered: Sorry, professor... I'm a little uncomfortable
Eisenberg stared at him deeply, his eyes lovingly and soothing to the hearts, he said nothing, but just walked over and gently patted Qingxiao on the shoulder.
The emotions that had been suppressed collapsed immediately. Qingxiao hugged him and burst into tears. He couldn't stop for a long time and so that the waiters in the tea restaurant gave them a surprised look. He wondered why such a tall and steady young man cried like a child.
Qingxiao finally stopped crying and stammered: Do you know, professor, I can't do it well... I want to save them, I want to save each of them, but I can't do it, I can't save anyone... I can only watch them die, or are dying...
Something must have been wrong. The world is not right with me and the puzzle is messed up. I always can't put it well... Professor, Ah, please help me. There must be something wrong with me. I have to find out...
Eisenberg patted his shoulder comfortably and said softly: I understand that children who are awake and alive are always more uncomfortable than those who live in a daze, because they have to bear the responsibility of filial piety, but that comes from the responsibility of love, we must bear it.
********************
Do you still remember his name? Simon Andrews
Of course, how could he forget
Even after more than ten years, the heavy rain in my memory is still falling to the ground. He can still remember the scene where he rolled down the car window and let the bright high beam penetrate the rainy night, illuminating the boy's face without any hesitation.
You... can you hug me? The boy trembled with his blue and black lips and said to him that the rain flowed down his dirty trouser legs to the floor.
Until he died, I never touched him because I felt he was dirty. Qingxiao said numbly, I once thought, if I hugged him at that time, would he not die? I asked myself again and again, but I can't find the answer. I think I will hurt him in the end. I am so slow, sooner or later
He felt a little cold, hugged his arms, his eyes empty: I still remember how he died, no, probably never forgot that he didn't look good, but his eyes were very big, blue and faint, like two glass beads that had lost their luster staring at you for a long time. I can't remember his face, but I remember those eyes, whose eye sockets were deep, black and black, making those eyes almost pop out...
He leaned back against the back of the chair, staring blankly at the sky, and said: During that time, as soon as I closed my eyes, I would see him. So I didn't dare to sleep alone. I always had to hug someone and touch her body and feel that I was breathing so that I could feel a little more at ease.
He smiled bitterly and said: During that time, I was ridiculous and I was almost finished visiting the red light district in Boston.
Eisenberg said in a gentle voice: But you finally stood up and fulfilled your promise to him with great care. I have never seen a student as hardworking as you before, and then I learned the story behind it.
He paused, his tone turned cold and said: But if he knew you went back to the old path later, he would be very disappointed. You promised him but did not do it.
Kiyoko raised one hand to block his eyes, as if he was afraid of being stabbed by the sun. He defended: I just wanted to save people. Professor I have no contact with them now. I did not make up with Uchida, who forced Simon to take drugs, although he gave me a lot of favors...
The more he said, the more confident he was, he was, and his hands were weak.
Eisenberg looked at him, wanting to speak but stopping, sighing: I can understand your feelings, you don’t want to cause any more regrets, so what are you going to do now? You played the role of Robin Hood, and now you are playing the role of a psychologist, Kiyoko, do you think you can really do it?
He patted Kiyoshi on the shoulder and said: The burden you put on yourself is too heavy. Kiyoshi, don’t say that you are not a psychology student. Even if it is, I don’t think you are the right candidate to treat Asami Yu. As a doctor, you need to be absolutely calm and calm. You care too much about him. This will easily cause emotional fluctuations and hinder your normal judgment
Qingxiao said in a daze: But I can't let him continue like this, I'm the only one...
Eisenberg stared at him deeply and said: But do you think you are doing this to him? What he really needs is a professional psychologist, Qingxiao. What you have to do now is to face up to your own abilities and limitations, cooperate with the doctor's treatment, rather than force yourself to be a savior. Otherwise, don't say that you can't save him, you're just afraid you will fall into it.
Qingxiao said stutteringly: I have also asked to meet Mr. Albert, but his ideas seem to be inconsistent with me...
Eisenberg said lightly: I know you have met him. You don’t have to hide your opinions about him because he is my friend. But have you given him a chance to have a good conversation with him? He just warned you that Asami Yu is unlikely to recover completely. As a doctor, it is completely necessary to give you such a reminder and warning first.
He sighed, his expression a little desolate: Kiyoko, you have really changed a lot now, full of hostility and suspicion towards the outside world, and I think your protection for Asami Yu has reached a very extreme point. It seems that if others except you, they will hurt him. If you continue like this, you and him will be the only one in your life. This is definitely not a good thing for both of you.
Qingxiao recalled the scenes of the past, moved, and whispered: I know, I know that I always stay with him, and sooner or later there will be problems, I will always hurt him unconsciously, and I don’t know how to send my emotions, so I thought of going out to work and change the environment...
Eisenberg finally showed a smile and said: It's right to think about it. Everyone has his responsibilities. If you really love him, you should find a psychiatrist for him, instead of trying your best to do it yourself, and instead tie both of you to your lover. Then it's enough for you to do your best to do your lover. Visit him regularly and provide him with emotional comfort. Your expertise is pharmacology, or you can also provide some support in this regard.
He let out a sigh and said satisfiedly: Professional treatment should be better for him, and you can also continue your original studies. I am old. I really hope you can continue the research on Qingxiao. You have been dragging you down for a lot of three years. Your life is like a train that is cheating. Now, it should be time to get everything back to its position.
********************
The clouds are moving, the wind is moving
Half of the sky is occupied by fire clouds, driven by the wind, running wildly, the setting sun is so fast that it is faster than life that is dying day and night
Qingxiao stood at the top of the building in the downtown city, looking down at the endless stream of vehicles below like light spots in electronic games, running rapidly along established tracks, heading towards their respective end points
Where is his end?
You have to be the strongest person. My father told him that only strength can help you get everything
He saw his mother's pale face, sleeping quietly in the shadows under the cross. Leave, what Qingxiao gets violently will inevitably be taken away by violence, and only faith can live forever
He closed his eyes, clouds were flying purple, orange, rose-colored clouds, and the sky was filled with colored toxins
Simon's blue eyes stared at him in the ever-changing clouds, and blood slowly flowed out, smearing the clouds red.
Survival, numbness, death
The strange body, the instant warm soul sleeps like a pupa, without thinking, without thinking
He felt a drunken dizziness, and took a deep breath. He pressed his cheek against the cold glass curtain wall. How long did it take him to find the meaning of life again? The self-abuse and hard work in the laboratory is not to develop drugs to harm the world.
Those addicted faces, those dazed eyes... He could comfort himself that he and his uncle had a first word, and Dm would only use it on the evil people, but he knew clearly in his heart that the victim was not just the evil people.
Tacit transactions, self-deception
Who did they sink into the foreground? The feathers with black hair and black eyes, which also had stubborn eyes, projected on Simon's miserable face, and the two figures gradually alternated and merged...
No, he never wanted to be a savior, he just wanted to save himself from his hands stretched out from the abyss.
********************
The clock has pointed at six o'clock, and the sunset drags the huge red flames slowly sinking towards the sky, the sunset burns so brilliantly and madly that it almost reminds people of death.
Yu wrapped his single clothes tightly, hugged his knees, curled up his body. That was the baby's posture in the mother's body, which meant that the maximum protection and rejection had passed so long. He was still afraid, and he would always pull the curtains tightly, waiting for that moment to pass.
Qingxiao knew this, so the clock at home would not ring and count. The job I was looking for was specially done at 5 o'clock. It would not be too late for a ten-minute drive. At this time, they should always be with him at home.
Except...that day...
Yu's fingers were spasm, and Qingxiao would not abandon him. No matter what, he had tried his best, right?
He just needs to let Qingxiao see and know, then Qingxiao will wait for him, right?
After all, that's the person who loves him the most
He held the furniture and stumbled to the desk, pretending not to see Qingxiao's mobile phone number on the calendar, he found his diary, his hands were trembling a little, but finally turned to that page, which clearly remembered what he wrote: Qingxiao loves me very much...
He looked at the words over and over again, and his heart slowly calmed down:
Everything will be fine, Qingxiao loves him very much
********************
You said you love him very much, and I believe you love him very much, but I don’t understand why the path of life he leads you to is completely different from Simon?
Qingxiao stepped on the accelerator with one kick, and the car ran on the highway, but couldn't let go of the professor's question
He is not Simon, he is Asami Yu. No matter what his personality was before, he has become another person
The person you love may never come back. You must be mentally prepared. You may need to treat him and take care of him throughout your life.
Do you cannot do anything else except love him? Do you do not have to explain to anyone else and take any responsibility other than being responsible to him?
It’s not a professional who is working hard, is it good for him? Is it good for you?
Is there nothing else in a man's life except love? If so, filial piety, I have to say that such love is too selfish and too narrow
A red light appeared at the intersection ahead, Qingxiao suddenly braked suddenly, and shook his body violently backwards. He leaned his head on the steering wheel tiredly for a while, rolled down the car window, and looked at the sunset, red as red as blood, almost covering the entire sky.
The bloody dusk has not returned
End of cheating
Is it just that the scene of you running away left a deep impression on you, so you feel that you have the responsibility to repair everything, just like you broke a vase, so you want to buy one exactly the same for compensation?
Looking straight into Kiyoko's eyes, Eisenberg asked almost forcibly: If you really like the original vase, you will cherish it and repair it instead of demanding it to restore it to its original state. But you are not
So do you really love him?
Are you sure that you will be able to save him at all costs, is it based on love or morality?
The pressing question almost made him breathless, but the last question was like a dark night light. Qingxiao didn't have to think about it and gave the answer: Of course, I always loved him, even before something happened to him!
He said anxiously, as if he wanted to prove something: I thought I fell in love with him in college. At that time, I didn’t know his true identity and his growth experience, but because of this, my feelings for him are the purest. My affection for him is based on him, not everything attached to him.
The self-response was perfect. He looked up and looked at Eisenberg in anticipation and was silent for a moment, and a smile slowly rippled on his lips: Since you don’t even know his background experience, how can you know that you are in love with a real person, not a product of your own imagination?
Qingxiao smiled and spread his hands and said: I have asked myself this question, but I have considered it many times afterwards. I do not doubt that there is any false element in my feelings. If this disaster has an impact, it will make me love him more. There is the sense of responsibility you mentioned here, but more of the strength and courage he showed in the disaster, which makes me feel that he is indeed a person worthy of my love.
Speaking of this, he paused and said seriously: I hope he can recover, because I think it's a pity that he is like this now. He was so outstanding and this was his wish. I just respect his meaning. If I can't live proudly, he would rather die. This is what he told me and promised others.
Eisenberg fell into deep thought for a while, and he sighed and said: If you promise someone else, you should do it... Do you still remember? You have promised a boy to stay away from sin forever for him.
Do you still remember his name? Simon Andrews
His voice was low and soft, but when he heard Qingxiao's ears, it was like a thundering sound of Qingxiao's having to hold on to the table and cover up his loss of composure
If he couldn't live proudly, he would rather die... The old man repeated this sentence and turned his eyes to the white clouds in the sky, saying, I don't know Yu, I heard you talk like this, his personality looks very similar to Simon, but he still survived with humiliation, but Simon really did it
He died, fulfilling his pride and your true freedom, allowing you to stay away from your family without any worries. The old man turned around and stared at Qingxiao, whose upper body was almost lying on the table, trembling all over.
Eisenberg looked at his disciple with pity and murmured: You still remember his... Of course, you remember him as a child who died in your bathtub. He would rather die than tell you that his drug use was forced by your father to misunderstand him and dislike him. He would rather have a drug addiction attack than torture into a human form than to persuade you to turn back according to your father's will...
Qingxiao suddenly said: Stop talking!
This sound came so abruptly and recklessly that the silence that followed seemed particularly deep
Qingxiao hurriedly wiped away the tears from the corners of her eyes and whispered: Sorry, professor... I'm a little uncomfortable
Eisenberg stared at him deeply, his eyes lovingly and soothing to the hearts, he said nothing, but just walked over and gently patted Qingxiao on the shoulder.
The emotions that had been suppressed collapsed immediately. Qingxiao hugged him and burst into tears. He couldn't stop for a long time and so that the waiters in the tea restaurant gave them a surprised look. He wondered why such a tall and steady young man cried like a child.
Qingxiao finally stopped crying and stammered: Do you know, professor, I can't do it well... I want to save them, I want to save each of them, but I can't do it, I can't save anyone... I can only watch them die, or are dying...
Something must have been wrong. The world is not right with me and the puzzle is messed up. I always can't put it well... Professor, Ah, please help me. There must be something wrong with me. I have to find out...
Eisenberg patted his shoulder comfortably and said softly: I understand that children who are awake and alive are always more uncomfortable than those who live in a daze, because they have to bear the responsibility of filial piety, but that comes from the responsibility of love, we must bear it.
********************
Do you still remember his name? Simon Andrews
Of course, how could he forget
Even after more than ten years, the heavy rain in my memory is still falling to the ground. He can still remember the scene where he rolled down the car window and let the bright high beam penetrate the rainy night, illuminating the boy's face without any hesitation.
You... can you hug me? The boy trembled with his blue and black lips and said to him that the rain flowed down his dirty trouser legs to the floor.
Until he died, I never touched him because I felt he was dirty. Qingxiao said numbly, I once thought, if I hugged him at that time, would he not die? I asked myself again and again, but I can't find the answer. I think I will hurt him in the end. I am so slow, sooner or later
He felt a little cold, hugged his arms, his eyes empty: I still remember how he died, no, probably never forgot that he didn't look good, but his eyes were very big, blue and faint, like two glass beads that had lost their luster staring at you for a long time. I can't remember his face, but I remember those eyes, whose eye sockets were deep, black and black, making those eyes almost pop out...
He leaned back against the back of the chair, staring blankly at the sky, and said: During that time, as soon as I closed my eyes, I would see him. So I didn't dare to sleep alone. I always had to hug someone and touch her body and feel that I was breathing so that I could feel a little more at ease.
He smiled bitterly and said: During that time, I was ridiculous and I was almost finished visiting the red light district in Boston.
Eisenberg said in a gentle voice: But you finally stood up and fulfilled your promise to him with great care. I have never seen a student as hardworking as you before, and then I learned the story behind it.
He paused, his tone turned cold and said: But if he knew you went back to the old path later, he would be very disappointed. You promised him but did not do it.
Kiyoko raised one hand to block his eyes, as if he was afraid of being stabbed by the sun. He defended: I just wanted to save people. Professor I have no contact with them now. I did not make up with Uchida, who forced Simon to take drugs, although he gave me a lot of favors...
The more he said, the more confident he was, he was, and his hands were weak.
Eisenberg looked at him, wanting to speak but stopping, sighing: I can understand your feelings, you don’t want to cause any more regrets, so what are you going to do now? You played the role of Robin Hood, and now you are playing the role of a psychologist, Kiyoko, do you think you can really do it?
He patted Kiyoshi on the shoulder and said: The burden you put on yourself is too heavy. Kiyoshi, don’t say that you are not a psychology student. Even if it is, I don’t think you are the right candidate to treat Asami Yu. As a doctor, you need to be absolutely calm and calm. You care too much about him. This will easily cause emotional fluctuations and hinder your normal judgment
Qingxiao said in a daze: But I can't let him continue like this, I'm the only one...
Eisenberg stared at him deeply and said: But do you think you are doing this to him? What he really needs is a professional psychologist, Qingxiao. What you have to do now is to face up to your own abilities and limitations, cooperate with the doctor's treatment, rather than force yourself to be a savior. Otherwise, don't say that you can't save him, you're just afraid you will fall into it.
Qingxiao said stutteringly: I have also asked to meet Mr. Albert, but his ideas seem to be inconsistent with me...
Eisenberg said lightly: I know you have met him. You don’t have to hide your opinions about him because he is my friend. But have you given him a chance to have a good conversation with him? He just warned you that Asami Yu is unlikely to recover completely. As a doctor, it is completely necessary to give you such a reminder and warning first.
He sighed, his expression a little desolate: Kiyoko, you have really changed a lot now, full of hostility and suspicion towards the outside world, and I think your protection for Asami Yu has reached a very extreme point. It seems that if others except you, they will hurt him. If you continue like this, you and him will be the only one in your life. This is definitely not a good thing for both of you.
Qingxiao recalled the scenes of the past, moved, and whispered: I know, I know that I always stay with him, and sooner or later there will be problems, I will always hurt him unconsciously, and I don’t know how to send my emotions, so I thought of going out to work and change the environment...
Eisenberg finally showed a smile and said: It's right to think about it. Everyone has his responsibilities. If you really love him, you should find a psychiatrist for him, instead of trying your best to do it yourself, and instead tie both of you to your lover. Then it's enough for you to do your best to do your lover. Visit him regularly and provide him with emotional comfort. Your expertise is pharmacology, or you can also provide some support in this regard.
He let out a sigh and said satisfiedly: Professional treatment should be better for him, and you can also continue your original studies. I am old. I really hope you can continue the research on Qingxiao. You have been dragging you down for a lot of three years. Your life is like a train that is cheating. Now, it should be time to get everything back to its position.
********************
The clouds are moving, the wind is moving
Half of the sky is occupied by fire clouds, driven by the wind, running wildly, the setting sun is so fast that it is faster than life that is dying day and night
Qingxiao stood at the top of the building in the downtown city, looking down at the endless stream of vehicles below like light spots in electronic games, running rapidly along established tracks, heading towards their respective end points
Where is his end?
You have to be the strongest person. My father told him that only strength can help you get everything
He saw his mother's pale face, sleeping quietly in the shadows under the cross. Leave, what Qingxiao gets violently will inevitably be taken away by violence, and only faith can live forever
He closed his eyes, clouds were flying purple, orange, rose-colored clouds, and the sky was filled with colored toxins
Simon's blue eyes stared at him in the ever-changing clouds, and blood slowly flowed out, smearing the clouds red.
Survival, numbness, death
The strange body, the instant warm soul sleeps like a pupa, without thinking, without thinking
He felt a drunken dizziness, and took a deep breath. He pressed his cheek against the cold glass curtain wall. How long did it take him to find the meaning of life again? The self-abuse and hard work in the laboratory is not to develop drugs to harm the world.
Those addicted faces, those dazed eyes... He could comfort himself that he and his uncle had a first word, and Dm would only use it on the evil people, but he knew clearly in his heart that the victim was not just the evil people.
Tacit transactions, self-deception
Who did they sink into the foreground? The feathers with black hair and black eyes, which also had stubborn eyes, projected on Simon's miserable face, and the two figures gradually alternated and merged...
No, he never wanted to be a savior, he just wanted to save himself from his hands stretched out from the abyss.
********************
The clock has pointed at six o'clock, and the sunset drags the huge red flames slowly sinking towards the sky, the sunset burns so brilliantly and madly that it almost reminds people of death.
Yu wrapped his single clothes tightly, hugged his knees, curled up his body. That was the baby's posture in the mother's body, which meant that the maximum protection and rejection had passed so long. He was still afraid, and he would always pull the curtains tightly, waiting for that moment to pass.
Qingxiao knew this, so the clock at home would not ring and count. The job I was looking for was specially done at 5 o'clock. It would not be too late for a ten-minute drive. At this time, they should always be with him at home.
Except...that day...
Yu's fingers were spasm, and Qingxiao would not abandon him. No matter what, he had tried his best, right?
He just needs to let Qingxiao see and know, then Qingxiao will wait for him, right?
After all, that's the person who loves him the most
He held the furniture and stumbled to the desk, pretending not to see Qingxiao's mobile phone number on the calendar, he found his diary, his hands were trembling a little, but finally turned to that page, which clearly remembered what he wrote: Qingxiao loves me very much...
He looked at the words over and over again, and his heart slowly calmed down:
Everything will be fine, Qingxiao loves him very much
********************
You said you love him very much, and I believe you love him very much, but I don’t understand why the path of life he leads you to is completely different from Simon?
Qingxiao stepped on the accelerator with one kick, and the car ran on the highway, but couldn't let go of the professor's question
He is not Simon, he is Asami Yu. No matter what his personality was before, he has become another person
The person you love may never come back. You must be mentally prepared. You may need to treat him and take care of him throughout your life.
Do you cannot do anything else except love him? Do you do not have to explain to anyone else and take any responsibility other than being responsible to him?
It’s not a professional who is working hard, is it good for him? Is it good for you?
Is there nothing else in a man's life except love? If so, filial piety, I have to say that such love is too selfish and too narrow
A red light appeared at the intersection ahead, Qingxiao suddenly braked suddenly, and shook his body violently backwards. He leaned his head on the steering wheel tiredly for a while, rolled down the car window, and looked at the sunset, red as red as blood, almost covering the entire sky.
The bloody dusk has not returned
End of cheating
![[Science fiction] The diary of the female fall of the white-haired pseudo-woman - SM, fake girl](/templates/nvshen/themes/img/thumb_1.png)