Home Urban Novels Walking through the rebirth of hell KeyboardSwitching:(47/90)

Chapter 7 Mark (5)

15days ago Urban Novels 6
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The light in the living room was dim and the windows were wide open. You can see the lead-gray cumulonimbus clouds and raindrops flying in from time to time in the sky outside, wetting the nearby wooden floors around the corners of the walls. Only the old-fashioned floor clocks in the corners made a monotonous sound.

Qingxiao lay on the long sofa, with two long legs resting on the handrail of the sofa, one hand pillowed under his head, and the other hand drooped down weakly, a rare and weak posture, he looked silently at the endless raindrops outside the window, and the cold wind blew in, blowing the magazine coloring pages on the coffee table beside him.

Yu's figure appeared at the door of the living room. He hesitated for a moment, and slowly walked to Qingxiao slowly. Qingxiao obviously noticed his arrival, but ignored Yu looked at Qingxiao quietly. After a while, he knelt on the ground with his knees, picked up Qingxiao's lower hand, kissed her, and whispered: Sorry...

A hint of disgust flashed in Qingxiao's eyes, and he wanted to pull his hand out, but he held it so tightly, like a drowning man trying hard to grasp the only piece of floating wood.

Sorry, sorry, sorry... He apologized repeatedly, kept kissing the hand, and pressed his cheek against Qingxiao's cold back

Qingxiao sighed, stretched out his hand under his head, rubbed his temples tiredly, and said: Where are you sorry for me?

Seeing that Qingxiao was finally willing to speak, Yu's eyes couldn't help but show his expectation and said carefully: I shouldn't hide my feelings from you, and I shouldn't speculate on your thoughts wisely.

He paused, looked at the thoughtful Qingxiao, and continued: You are right, I should tell you all my thoughts, and there should not be any concealment at all. I always feel that I can handle it well, but it cannot...

He gasped and said: I always think this is good to you, but no, it is unfair to you. How to deal with it is your own business. Even if there is a decision, it should be up to you. What I should do is be honest with you, tell you everything, and then listen to your decision. This is the right way to do it.

Qingxiao was silent for a moment and said distressedly: I always feel that you don’t trust me, I don’t believe that I can understand you, nor do I believe in my ability, so I will resist everything by myself. As your lover, I can’t trust you, and I can’t rely on you wholeheartedly, and I’m really a failure.

He stared at Yu straight and said seriously: Xiaoyu, you really don’t have any worries. You can tell me directly if you have any troubles. Leave them to me if you have any troubles that cannot be solved. Believe me, I will never make a decision that is unfavorable to you. No one in this world loves you more than me

Yu was stunned to welcome the deep affection in Qingxiao's eyes. The sentence was as shocking as the sound of the waves on the distant coast, but it was out of reach. The lover did not leave. In the moment, the huge sense of happiness filled his heart, which almost made him cry. He slowly lowered his head, covered up the vibration in his heart, and said simply: OK

Qingxiao didn't notice it, so she turned over and sat up, looked out the window blankly, and whispered: Do you know? Sometimes I feel that your trust in me is not as good as that bastard. Of course, this is a different matter, but I still can't stop thinking so much ridiculously... Look, I still told you in the original form. Also, you were in the kitchen and asked me, what do I want? What is love? I have been lying here just now and thinking about Ah, thinking about what I love you and what exactly do I want?

Yu looked up in shock and looked nervously at the handsome silhouette of Qingxiao's other party was blurred in the dim light. His eyebrows were lightly locked, his eyes narrowed slightly, and he stared at the gloomy rain clouds and drizzle outside the window with a sad look.

I found that I never knew you... When I was in school, I only knew your name Yoshinoha, your background, your family, and your experiences, and you never told me. Of course, there is no need to tell me that I like you, I just like this person simply

Qingxiao seemed to be talking to himself: Actually, I am also such a person. I hate others most about gossip about my family background. I thought to myself whether you made friends with me or my identity and status. But now it seems that understanding a person’s family background is still very important. This will help you understand this person better and share his pain. What do you say? Because what we usually come into contact with is only the side of this person. This understanding is likely to be incomplete or even incorrect. In other words, we often think that we fall in love with someone, but in fact, what we fall in love with may be just a phantom.

Yu subconsciously held the sofa, but did not realize how pale his face was, but he had already noticed his incompetence. He picked him up with his backhand and let him sit side by side on the sofa with him, and smiled and said: No, I am not saying that falling in love with you is a mistake. On the contrary, after I learned your true identity, after experiencing those nightmarish days on the island, I loved you more than before. This is certain that you are so smart and so strong, and in that case you can still find a way to let me escape... I felt that even if I had no feelings for you before, I would not be able to fall in love with you.

This sentence did not make Yu Anxin smile weakly, and he gave Qingxiao a response.

Qingxiao stared at him intently, and the smile on his face gradually turned bitter: What I don’t know is whether you love me or not…

Yu whispered: Qingxiao, I...

Qingxiao made a gesture of silence and said: I know you would say I was thinking a lot, but I still couldn't help but wonder, how much pure love does your confession in that situation have? I am the only normal person you can contact, right?

His face showed a distressed look, and this question had obviously troubled him for a long time: Otherwise, why didn't you tell me that you love me until then?

In the dark light, Kiyoko stared at Yu straight, with a strange stubbornness and seriousness in his black pupils, as if he had to get an accurate answer from him.

Why did you not tell me that you love me until then?

How much pure love does your confession in that situation have?

Those questions floated in the air, condensed into a mist, and stubbornly stayed unavailable

Yu tried hard to understand these words, and he could understand those words, but he could never answer the question he had put together, and he knew it was no, but how to express it was a difficult question. There were only some confusing words in his mind, jumping in front of his eyes like he played hide-and-seek, but he always couldn't find the right word sometimes as if he was about to catch it, and those words cunningly slipped through his fingers, and even forgot what he wanted to say at first.

Time just passed quietly in the suffocating silence, Qingxiao, who had no answer, finally sighed: Maybe you just want me to save you from that island... It's nothing, people are selfish, let alone you later for me... In fact, after you did that step for me, no matter whether you love me or not, I can no longer let go of you

No, that's not the case!

He wanted to shout, but couldn't spit out a word and a small voice rang in his ear: Isn't it really? You really didn't use it intentionally?

That was not Qingxiao's voice, nor was it his own, who was that?

He stared at the surroundings in fear, the rain was still falling, and Qingxiao was beside him, less than 30 cm away from him, but he felt a large cloud of smoke rising from the ground, separating him from Qingxiao

He was stiff all over, like a mouse covered by lights, full of fear but unable to move, allowing himself to be surrounded by smoke, and the world became dark

And in this darkness, he saw those eyes again, the cold and scorching eyes, like the extreme fire, burning vastly against the foggy background.

Tell me, what is love? That fool, Qingxiao, may indeed love you, so he will be deceived by your two tears. But what about you? Do you love him?

A merciless question pierced his heart: When you are the head of the asami family, holding great power and making a promise, have you ever thought of the great love between him and you? Tell me, why do you realize that you love him only here when you have no one to ask for help?

In your eyes, is Qingxiao a lover or the last straw you can catch?

You call it love and convince yourself that you are just finding a reason to seek peace of mind for yourself, but this is not love!

His cold eyes, mixed with unconcealed contempt, made him tremble: This is a naked use!

The smoke became thicker and thicker. He could no longer see the outside world. He could only feel the eyes staring at him, dark and deep, with a god-like indifference and authority, as if he wanted to see through his internal organs.

Very cold

It was just a rainy summer day, but he felt like he was in the cold winter. All his blood seemed to be solidifying at this moment.

At this time, a warm big hand passed through the mist and fell on his shoulders. The close-fitting touch brought warmth, the thick texture drove away the hallucinations, and the thick fog surrounding him disappeared. He was still sitting on the leather sofa in the living room, facing the drizzle and Qingxiao's eyes that seemed unstable, so he looked unstable.

Those eyes did not fall on him, which made him feel a little relieved. The drizzle was drizzling. The soothing and monotonous rhythm responded to the walking clock on the ground. It sounded like a very relaxing and comfortable background music. He put his hands on his forehead, took a heavy breath, and began to feel the blood flowing again.

I'm not saying you're using me... Qingxiao, who was still immersed in his own world, did not notice his abnormality, his eyes were confused and he seemed to be searching for something. I feel that at that time, there were a group of animals around you, and I was the only normal person you could come into contact with, so you became attached. If it wasn't me by your side at that time, but anyone else, maybe you would also feel that you fell in love? Just like you now, maybe you have more elements of gratitude than love?

Is that true? Qingxiao looked at him with concentration, and pressed his hand that fell on his shoulder for a moment

He was shocked and held the hand with infinite gratitude, and habitually said: Yes...

He suddenly reacted and said repeatedly: Ah, no, no...what were you talking about just now?

Qingxiao's face turned pale, and her fingers loosened one by one. After a while, she smiled bitterly: You don't need to be so direct, right? Although I always feel this way, I still can't stand it when I suddenly hear you say it...

Yu said anxiously: No, I didn’t hear your question clearly. Really, you have to believe me!

Kiyoko looked at him helplessly and sighed: You don’t have to lie to me, ask yourself, do you really love me? It’s not gratitude, it’s not a helpless choice? Then why did you go to Japan without telling me anything?

Yu was stunned

Really, does he dare to say this?

Dare you say that his feelings for Qingxiao were not born from those nightmarish days with desperate miss and slim hopes?

If Qingxiao had the courage to confess to him, would he really give up the huge fortune he had obtained for a homosexual relationship that was not glorious in the eyes of the public?

He dares not, he really dares not

The voice sounded in his ears again: Your selfishness, cowardice, cruelty, far exceeds your self-evaluation. Your biological father Asami Heichiro, has caused many families to be destroyed in his life. You won’t know that your mother is one of the victims and his blood is also flowing on your body. The difference is that you are more hypocritical and cowardly than him.

Things like you are simply born slaves and are only worthy of being dominated by the strong, because this world can only belong to the real strong! The world seen through their eyes is even more real than what you see!

He closed his eyes and felt dizzy. He had to support Qingxiao in order to feel a little relieved.

Is someone like him qualified to say love? Even if you are grateful and repay your kindness, you are not worthy. He opened his mouth slightly, but couldn't speak a word to defend himself. He just stared blankly at a small piece of floor in front, like a machine with the power supply removed.

Qingxiao looked at him disappointedly and murmured: Is this true? In college, you treated me well, at least better than others. Is it just because you left your hometown alone and wandered around, looking at me as a member of your tribe, so you feel a little intimate? Are you...

He paused for a moment and said with some difficulty: Have you never loved me?

silence

The cold silence as cold as death came to the living room without warning. Only the sound of wind and rain outside the window, and the sound of flipping between the color pages of magazines on the coffee table

After a long time, Qingxiao breathed out and said indifferently: Then let's do it when I was alone here just now. I thought a lot and thought about it. What should I do if you really don't love me?

He smiled bitterly and said: Actually, everyone knows that it is not that you will definitely get rewards if you give. What do I treat you? Then you must treat me. Of course, you have the right not to love me...

It seems that something is wrong. He didn't mean that Yu tried his best to find a suitable expression, but his slow mind could never capture the appropriate words.

At this time, Qingxiao raised his voice, showed a resolute expression, and said in a deep voice: But this is nothing Xiaoyu, I figured it out, you didn't accept my feelings at all, so just pretend that it has never happened in these three years, we are still just friends, everything is back to zero, we start from scratch

He held Yu's hand hard and said word by word: Let me pursue you again!

Yu looked at Kiyoko at a loss, surprised and moved to this point. What else could he ask for?

He owes this man, and he will never be able to pay it back in his lifetime

He lowered his head slowly and said briefly: OK

Qingxiao smiled with relief and opened her arms to hug him. She hugged him so tightly, as if he would become smoke and disappear after a little relaxation.

It's really difficult to fight with myself. Kiyoko whispered in his ear. After a while, I felt like I was going crazy. Fortunately, I finally figured it out no matter what, I couldn't leave you. So why do I care about so much?

When you are in better health and familiar with the life here, I will take you back to Harvard campus and have a look and we met there. Those familiar scenery will definitely remind you of the past, the nightmarish experiences we spent together, and naturally I will gradually forget that it is still the same day, the same me and you, just like you just came back from Japan and we met again, okay?

Qingxiao's voice is sincere and gentle, but has an elusive and illusory smell, slowly permeating into the misty drizzle of summer

Yu lowered his head and said quietly: OK

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One Sunday ten days later, the sun was faint, shining on the gate of the stone pillars and iron fence of Harvard University campus. It seemed inconspicuous. A car drove silently, walked around in circles, and stopped nearby.

Kiyoko looked at Yu on the driver's side seat, held his hand, and whispered: Are you ready? Let's go down and have a peace of mind, I will take good care of you. If there is anything wrong, let's go back and believe me immediately. Just leave everything to me. You know, I will never do anything that is bad for you.