Chapter 3: The Confusion of Love

In life, there are many things that are vague. When you don’t have it, it doesn’t matter. You can spend your life in a daze

But once you have it, you can never have it

These things are often around us, such as sincerity, family affection, love

After returning to school from home, I felt a sense of relief I had never felt before, and seemed to have grown up a lot.

I no longer blame others, nor feel ashamed of my humble background. I began to feel extremely proud of having a great mother.

A year later, I graduated from college and was hired by a large company and found a job. The first thing I did was to take my grandma to my side.

At first, my mother was not willing. After all, she has lived in the mountains for decades and it is difficult to leave her feelings.

The one she couldn't bear most was her uncle's family

But with my uncle's patient persuasion, my mother reluctantly agreed.

In order to facilitate the care of my grandma, I bought a three-bedroom and one-living apartment near the company by installment payment near the company

My grandma, who is used to living in a low village house, moved into a tall building that looks like a bird cage, and was really uncomfortable.

My mother took the elevator for the first time in her life and came to her new home on the 15th floor

The door opened, and she looked at me at a loss and didn't dare to go in

My grandmother, who is used to living a poor and poor life, faces her spacious and bright new home, can't believe that this will be her new home.

Looking at the bright and warm decoration in the room, brand new and comfortable furniture, and those household appliances I have never seen before, my mother entered the Grand View Garden like Grandma Liu, looked at this and touched that, full of novelty

No, this house is so good, the city people really know how to enjoy it, it costs a lot of money

Grandma, you have suffered so much for me and it’s time to enjoy it. Just live steadily and wait until I have money, and let’s change to a bigger house.

I held my mother and sat down on the sofa. I could see that my mother was very excited. Her eyes were red.

Grandma lived

After the initial excitement and freshness passed, what came immediately was that I felt extremely unfamiliar and uncomfortable with everything here.

Many things that seem very simple to me have to learn from scratch. She doesn't know how to use the microwave, can't turn on the washing machine, and can't get used to Simmons. What makes her most uncomfortable is that she has to stay at home most of the day, and she is very lonely.

During the day, when my mother was happiest, she cooked delicious food and had dinner together when I came back

I also go home on time after get off work every day, because I am afraid that my grandmother will be in a hurry to wait.

After dinner, accompany her to watch TV, talk, or walk around the garden downstairs

When she was alone at home, her mother was always idle and she cleaned the house cleanly and neatly, and was scrubbing everywhere without any scrubbing. It seemed that hard work had become a part of her life.

When I first moved in, my grandma made a lot of jokes because she was extremely uncomfortable with the brand new lifestyle.

For example, when cooking, because you don’t have an electric cooker, you either burn the rice or make a pot of raw rice.

She was also afraid of taking the elevator. Once she was trapped in the elevator and almost lost her way

But the most embarrassing and unforgettable thing happened in the bathroom

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It was Sunday, and I was busy for the afternoon before I installed the electric water heater in the bathroom.

After dinner, I asked my mother to go in and take a shower. My mother used to take a shower in a wooden bucket. This was the first time she took a shower with a water heater. She was quite nervous.

I taught for a long time before my mother could barely learn it

After she went in, I went back to the living room to watch TV. After sitting down for a few minutes, I heard a scream from my mother from the bathroom

I was afraid something happened to my mother, so I rushed over a few steps and knocked open the locked bathroom door.

The bathroom was filled with mist, the shower head fell to the ground, and the hot hot water was sprayed. My mother fell to the edge of the bathtub, looking at me in a daze, seeing that nothing happened to my mother, and then I felt relieved.

But when I turned my eyes to my mother, my young heart couldn't help but jump wildly again

Because I saw a grandma I've never seen before

In panic, my mother forgot to cover her body, and her naked body allowed me to see it at a glance

Although I have seen some naked beauty, this is the first time I have seen my mother's body

My mother has a petite and symmetrical figure, a slender waist and round buttocks, and is convex and convex

Due to more than 20 years of wind and sun exposure, her skin is slightly dark, but it is still very delicate

Her breasts are not very big, but they are full and plump, and their nipples are still red.

My mother's hair bun is untied, and her black hair is spread on her smooth and round shoulders

The slender and slender thighs are tightly clamped, and the lush grass at the root of the thigh is faintly revealed

Although it only takes a few seconds, it is an incomparable shock to me

Time seemed to have frozen. Although I tried my best to restrain it, it still could not stop the most primitive physiological impulses from surging in my body.

My mother suddenly reacted and hurriedly covered her body with a towel, blushed and said: "Nao'er, I was accidentally scalded. Now it's okay, you go out."

I woke up from my dream, my face turned red, and I agreed unnaturally, lowered my head and went out.

Back in the living room, but I still couldn't calm down. In the past, I only treated my mother as a mother, but today I realized that my mother is also a woman.

Think about it now, my mother is only 38 years old this year

My mother looks really pretty, with a melon-shaped face, willow-leaf eyebrows, and black and bright eyes

Although it is not considered a national character, it is very attractive

Especially the simplicity and gentleness of my mother, which further increases her woman's charm

I thought again that as a mother, my mother worked hard for me for twenty years. As a woman, my mother did not experience the joy of being a woman for a day. My mother is really unfortunate.

All night, my mother's naked body kept flashing in front of my eyes that night, and I had insomnia

In the following days, when my grandma and I were together, we were a little unnatural.

I tried to forget that night, but I always lingered. I felt so dirty and obscene.

It took me many days to forget this matter.

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Before I knew it, my mother had lived in her new home for more than half a year. My mother had become much more plump and her skin became whiter and tender. When paired with a simple and elegant dress, my mother looked even more charming.

But more importantly, my mother is no longer lonely. Her gentleness and kindness have won the favor of her neighbors around her and made many kind friends.

I was so happy watching my mother get happier day by day, and my inner guilt has also been relieved a little.

I was thinking, it would be better if my mother had another companion. My mother was still young, so she should let her enjoy the joy of being a woman, and this is not something I can replace as a son.

I can see that my mother also wants it very much. Whenever she sees the harmonious and loving couples in the neighborhoods around her, her envy is always unconsciously revealed.

I think my mother is still worried, so she dare not tell me that I should take some time to talk to her.

Nao'er, the girl you brought back last time is really good. How are you doing? My mother's biggest wish now is that you will get married soon and have a fat grandson and give me a hug

Grandma, we are just the beginning, it is not certain whether we can succeed or not. Besides, I am still young and have a career priority. I don’t want to get married so early

You are not young anymore, noisy, this year, you are twenty-three years old in the countryside, you have already married a wife at your age, look at our neighbor's Tiedan, two years younger than you, now the dolls are running all over the floor

Grandma, I think you want to hold your grandson and you want to be crazy. In fact, I think you should find a companion to talk to you. If you have someone who knows the cold and the hot side, you will not be alone.

I didn't expect me to say that, my mother's face fluttered and turned red. After a while, she said: Why did you touch my mother? I'm old, and I've long lost the mind. In this life, my mother will be very content with having a good son like you.

Grandma, you are less than forty, and there is still a long life in the future. There is an old saying that young couples are always with me. You have worked hard for twenty years and you should enjoy yourself. My son understands Grandma’s thoughts. What era is now? No one will laugh at you. We are mother and son. What else can you say?

My words seemed to have touched my mother. She blushed and lowered her head without saying a word. After a long time, she whispered: Actually, I have not thought about it. It’s just that anyone who wants a woman like me is willing to ask for it.

Grandma, don't always slander yourself. That's not your fault. In fact, no matter how you look or personality, Grandma, you are no worse than other women. As long as you are willing, I will definitely have a chance. I think Uncle Tan is very good. He is also alone. He has no children to drag him down these days, so he runs to our house. And he sits and doesn't leave. Damn, do you want me to ask you if I ask someone to ask you.

Grandma's face turned redder, and she couldn't raise her head ashamed, and said hurriedly: "Nao'er, don't ask, how can my son help her find her mother's house? If the neighbors know about this, how can I go out to meet people in the future? Don't force grandma to do this, let me think about it again.

This conversation touched my mother very much

Not long after, I found that my grandma had some changes

Her relationship with Uncle Tan has increased significantly. The two often go to morning exercises and go shopping together.

Grandma has also become fond of dressing up, and cosmetics and perfumes that have never been used before have also appeared quietly on Grandma

Also, my mother has become more cheerful and loves to laugh

Seeing my mother getting happier day by day, I felt much more relieved

Sometimes, I would mention Uncle Tan in front of her intentionally or unintentionally. At this time, my mother always blushed with shame, but the sweetness in her heart was revealed.

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My mother's happy appearance also makes me really envious, because compared to my mother, my emotional path is always unsatisfactory.

My current girlfriend is already the fifth girlfriend

She is from the same company as me, and I have been dating her for several months.

It should be said that no matter whether it is appearance or family conditions, her conditions are very good, but for some reason, I can't find that feeling about her.

Because she is not the type I want to look for

But what kind of thing I want to find is even confused and can't explain it clearly

Finally, my lukewarmness made my new girlfriend lose patience

Once on a date, I was late for a few minutes in the hospital because of a cold. My girlfriend took the opportunity to get angry and said that I didn't care about her and threatened to break up with me.

And I am no longer the young man who pursued Mina back then. In addition, I was in a bad mood. I was impulsive and broke up when I thought about breaking up, so I turned around and left.

When I got home, I had a great headache. My body was hot and cold, and I could no longer support it.

My mother saw that my face looked ugly, so she hurriedly asked me to go into the house and lie down. She was busy and covered me with a quilt, applied my forehead with a wet towel, and then fed me the medicine.

I was dizzy and felt so hot that I kept kicking the quilt away

My mother was afraid that I would catch a cold again, so she kept covering me again

At this time, I was already out of mind and kept talking nonsense

Gradually the effect of the medicine took effect, and I fell asleep

I don’t know how long it took, but because of thirst, I woke up and found that my mother was still sitting by the bed, holding her chin and fell asleep.

Looking at my watch, it was already past two in the morning. Looking at my mother's tired look, I was very moved, my eyes were wet, and I couldn't help but hold my mother's hand

My mother woke up, her face turned red, she pulled her hands back, and said embarrassedly: "Nao'er, are you a little better? Look, my mother is so old, I'll fall asleep after sitting here for a while.

Mom, why don’t you go to sleep? Don’t ruin your body for me. Go to bed quickly. Sweat. I think it’s much better.

You are so sick, why can't my mother sleep? If you don't look at you, you will kick the quilt away after a while, you sweat so much. You are so weak. You are lying down. My mother will sit for you to have some food.

No, grandma

But my mother went to the kitchen and soon, she walked in with a bowl of hot and fragrant egg noodles.

No, sit up and eat while it's hot

I was so excited that I couldn't speak, and silently took the noodles.

Maybe it was because of the serious illness that had not been cured and there was no effort at all, so the noodles almost sprinkled

Grandma quickly took the bowl and said with distress: Naoer, your illness has not yet been cured, so let grandma feed you

I couldn't refuse, so I had to let my mother feed me

My mother feeds me carefully, afraid that it will burn me, so she picks up the noodles and slaps them from time to time, and then puts them in my mouth.

Seeing that I was eating very delicious, my mother smiled happily

While eating noodles, I stared at my mother

Under the soft light, a faint halo appeared on my mother's face. With that kindness and concentration, I think my mother is really beautiful and can't help but be fooled by it.

Suddenly, a thought irresistible in my heart: How great would it be if I could have a gentle and caring girlfriend like my grandma!

At this moment, I finally understood that the other half I have been looking for is a woman like my mother

As I thought about it, I couldn't help but blurt out: Mom, you are so good

Silly kid, you are a piece of meat that fell from my mother. I don’t treat you well, who should I treat you well? Eat well, don’t always look at me like this, mom is embarrassed

Actually, grandma, you are really good-looking, and you are getting better and better

Don't laugh at my mother and make trouble, have you blew with that girl?

Grandma, you are...

You have been talking nonsense just now, and I was frightened and blown. Don’t worry about it. What kind of thing do you want to find? Tell me what you want to find. Let me ask someone to find it for you.

I...I just want to find a grandma like this

Nothing big or small

I'm serious if I don't lie to you. Grandma, I really want to find a girlfriend who is as beautiful as you, and is gentle and considerate, but unfortunately there are too few now

My mother smiled helplessly, thinking I was joking, so she continued to feed me noodles

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From that day on, I have been more concerned about my mother

After a busy day, what I can't wait for the most is to go home and stay with my grandma

Being able to eat with her has become the happiest moment of my every day

Sometimes when I am on a business trip, my mother is the one I can’t let go of the most. Every night, I can only sleep soundly after I speak with her on the phone.

Sometimes, when I went shopping with my mother, I would take the initiative to hold her soft little hands and start from the place where I was not used to it. I was very embarrassed to tell my mother that we are mother and son, so what's wrong with me?

My mother couldn't resist me, so she had to let me go

Gradually, my feelings for my mother are changing quietly. My love for her is no longer the love of a son for his mother, but is mixed with a lot of love that I can't explain clearly and cannot explain, especially after I treat my mother as a woman.

At the same time, I suffered setbacks again and again in my relationship

I'm already disheartened about getting married and getting married

I finally understood that although I have lived in this city for several years, I am still the son of a village woman in my bones.

Those glitzy girls in the city may not be suitable for me at all

The pure, beautiful and kind woman I've been looking for may have disappeared in this city.

Sometimes I suddenly think, it would be great if my mother and I were not mother and son, I would definitely marry her.

But I immediately scolded myself in my heart. How could I have such dirty and dirty thoughts about my mother? After all, she is my biological mother

But even so, I still couldn't control myself to think about why I became like this, and I don't know

I've found many books, hoping to find the answers

In the book, I learned that when men are young, they usually have sexual fantasies about their mothers and have a complex of Oedipus. This is normal

Whenever I see these, I feel a little relieved

I think the reason why I have abnormal thoughts about my mother may be that I am too young and not mature enough

But this kind of liberation is also short-lived. Now whenever I see my mother and Uncle Tan being together, I feel very uncomfortable. A kind of jealousy that only appears in the lover will arise from this.

But I can't tell my mother about all these troubles, because I tried my best to match them together.

I'm in great pain

I feel like I'm about to lose my mother, and I'm about to lose my only spiritual support.

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One Sunday, we went out to buy things together

When I got home, I was catching the peak of the bus

There are many people on the bus, so my mother and I are tightly attached to each other

My mother is petite and can't grasp the handrail above. I was afraid that my mother would fall, so I hugged her tightly

At first there was nothing, but when I noticed that my mother's soft breasts were pressing against my chest, my heart swayed, and I couldn't help but think of the naked body of my mother I saw that night

The penis can no longer be controlled and quickly swells and becomes hard, and it is pressed against my mother's body.

It's so embarrassing. I tried hard to suppress my instinctive impulse, but it was useless

My face is so hot, so hot, it must be all red

Gradually, my mother felt something strange about me, her face turned red with shame, and she lowered her head and didn't dare to look at me

Finally got out of the car, we escaped from the car in a panic and didn't dare to look at each other

I no longer have the courage to hold my mother's hand and walk silently behind me

From that day on, I often recalled in my dreams that night when I saw my grandma's naked body, and even dreamed of having sex with my grandma.

And when I wake up, I feel ashamed and embarrassed. I doubt whether I am a porn maniac or a pervert.

I swear again and again that I will never do this again, but as if fate was deliberately teasing me, and one day soon after, I completely fell into pieces

That day, I went home early.

The house is very quiet, I thought my mother was out with Uncle Tan again

When I passed by my mother's room, I saw that the door was hidden.

I glanced in casually and was stunned...

It turns out that my mother is changing clothes

At this time, she was wearing only her close-fitting underwear, exposing her round pink arms and slender snow-white thighs to the outside.

Grandma was looking for clothes in the closet, and she realized that the spring scenery was leaking at all.

Obviously, my mother is plump and whiter than what I saw last time

Although my mother's underwear is very conservative and I can't see her breasts and butt, it doesn't matter anymore

My eyes were all focused on the snow-white and slender thighs, and the strong sensory impulse made me tremble.

Almost in an instant, my penis was bloodshot and swollen, so hard that it seemed to break out of my crotch.

At this moment, all the ethics have been thrown out of the sky by me, and I admire my mother's body almost greedily

My heart beat so hard, I covered my chest tightly with my hands, for fear that once I let go, the boiling heart would pop up immediately

It was not until my mother was about to change her clothes that I had to leave quietly

My mother didn't notice that I was back. She changed her clothes and hurried out and I fell in pain in my house. Her craziness was burning with me, but she had nowhere to vent her.

I came to the bathroom and wanted to take a cold shower to calm myself down

But the first time I saw my mother's underwear on the side, I saw her mother's panties placed aside.

Just like I was hit by a curse, I subconsciously picked up the floral cotton underwear that was still carrying my mother's body temperature. This must have been replaced by my mother after taking a shower.

This piece of underwear made by my mother and the sample is conservative, but it is now tempting to me.

Although the remaining reason kept stopping me, I still put it on my face without hesitation, sniffing and licking obsessively, as if I was savoring my grandma's charming vagina.

My mother's body odor left on her underwear made me go crazy

The penis under me has become a red iron rod. I can't bear it and take off my pants, wrap my penis with my mother's underwear, fantasizing about my mother's body, and trying hard to get it done.

When I squirted a thick semen on my mother's underwear, I cried in pain.

I can no longer face the reality

Escape may be the best way now. I work hard so that the pressure of work can make me forget all this for the time being

I also learned to be drunk, and I often get drunk, hoping to use high concentrations of alcohol to anesthetize my perverted soul

But when I came home in a state of alcohol, I watched my mother take care of me and wipe my face and feet.

I regret it very much again. I shouldn't let my mother work like this. I'm also afraid that I would talk nonsense after drinking. I said something I shouldn't say, which made my mother sad

But my mother couldn't understand the changes in my heart. She just thought that I was under too much pressure at work, and she still cared about me as usual and patiently advised me.

One day after get off work, I found that my grandma was not at home. It was already very late. I was worried that something happened to my grandma, so I hurried downstairs to look for it.

In the flowers in the street, I saw my grandmother. She and Uncle Tan were talking and laughing. They were sitting very close and very close.

And I actually saw that my mother's hand was being held tightly by Uncle Tan

When I saw this scene, my heart seemed to be hit hard suddenly

I turned my head and couldn't accept all this at this moment. I can no longer deceive myself, nor can I escape. I have to admit that I have fallen in love with my mother hopelessly.

That night, I was drunk and drunk on the street