Chapter 17

There is a seriously ill sparrow. She is unable to escape the severe cold of winter and wants to find a warm shelter.

She found an oak tree and asked if she could escape the cold in the leaves, but it was a cold and arrogant oak tree without permission.

Pear trees, poplar trees, willow trees, elm trees, they all said no.

Later, the first snow came, and the sparrow went to the pine tree to try its luck. The pine tree said: I can't give you much protection, I only have the needles that leak air, but my answer was: Yes.

How happy, the sparrows are there to avoid the cold and survive the winter.

Seeing this, God decided to punish those selfish trees, and from that day on all trees lost their leaves in winter, except for the pine trees, because he saved the sparrow.

This is a story Zhang Ming once told me.

At that time, I was innocent and thought I was the sparrow and Zhang Ming was my pine tree. He would always protect me through every cold, and we would always live happily together.

But now I understand that the leaves of the pine tree are too thin to protect the sparrow. If there is really God, why didn’t he save the sparrow directly?

People always make up some false fantasies to deceive themselves, pretending that everything will eventually get better.

The leaves of trees will grow again, but the sparrow will not resurrect when it dies; the trees can live for a long time, but the life of the sparrow is fragile and short.

God never appears before the weak...

Everything is bullshit.

I finally heard the news from Zhang Ming.

The results of the case spread to every corner of this society the next day. People denounced the injustice of the world, but no one could do anything.

Dean Zhou's doorstep was surrounded by reporters every day, and no one found a one-eyed man mixed in.

No one was on guard either, and a sharp dagger stabbed out from behind the microphone, cutting Dean Zhou's throat.

President Zhou died on the spot. The murderer was arrested amid the screams of the crowd and the flashing of the spotlight. He did not resist or speak. Only Zhang Ming's back was seen in the newspaper.

I told Chen Yuxuan that that man is my lover, the only lover in my life.

A few days later, I received a package with a thick notebook covered with Zhang Ming's crooked handwriting.It was a self-report, and the title page reads: Give me the woman I love most in my life.

Tongtong, when you see this notebook, I must have made up my mind to leave you.There are facts that you have the right to know, but this fact will cause you great harm.

I don’t know if this is correct, but I still wrote these things down, hoping that you can hear the confession in my heart.

I am Zhang Ming, born twenty-five years ago in an ordinary working family.

In my memory, my parents are very doting on me, and I spent my childhood in peace and carefreeness.

Carefree represents happiness and dullness. I have basically forgotten all the things that happened in my childhood, except for one thing.

As long as I can remember, I remember that my mother often took me on the bus, crossed half of the city, and came to a small square in a residential area, where she sat for an afternoon.

I asked my mother strangely what we were doing here. She just smiled and pointed to a little girl snuggling against her mother in the distance and asked me: "Look at that little sister is cute or not?"』

That was such a cute girl, like a little angel, but her eyes were cloudy, and my mother told me that she was a blind child.

"Can I go and play with her?"'I asked my mother, but she just shook her head.

More than ten years have passed in a flash. We go back to the square every few days to see the girl, watching her grow up day by day, becoming more and more beautiful, watching her learn to walk with a blind stick, and watching her read in Braille.

Although I never said a word to her, I knew I had fallen in love with her.

Her beauty, her strength, her smile and frown...

At that time, I was just a gangster, wandering around with friends all day long, and my studies were in a mess. In my messy life, the girl was the only light.

I don’t understand why my mother has taken me to see her for more than ten years, and I don’t understand why my parents have a big fight every time I go back.

I once asked, but it was only in return for my father's anger and my mother's crying.

Later, my father left this family and went to another place to do business with others. After failing the college entrance examination, I had to choose to join the army, while my mother stayed at home alone.

In two years, I haven't seen that girl again.

I miss her deeply, more than my mother.

When I was discharged from the army, my mother wrote to me that my father had returned and had made a lot of money, so we would live a good life.

I was very happy because the first thing I thought of was that with money, I could go to the girl, heal her eyes, and marry her as my wife.

With full of expectations, I stepped on my way home, and opened the door, but I saw the nightmare that entangled me all my life - my father's body was lying in the middle of the living room, my mother hung high on the beam of the room, and her will was placed on the coffee table.

All my dreams were shattered, I spent half a year in a daze, and I didn't go to find her, I was even afraid to see the bus, and I was afraid to face anything about her...

My mother told me in her will that when I was born, I suffered from a disease called "Qu's Syndrome". This disease has another name in the medical field - a terminal illness that is not a terminal illness.

Doctors say that there is theoretical hope for cure this disease, but the requirements for surgery are very strict.

This is a congenital blindness that only exists in people with RH-negative blood type. Unlike corneal transplants that do not require matching, the cure for this disease requires corneal transplants with the same blood type and the age of the donor and the recipient must not exceed five years - simply put, the hope of finding such donors is undoubtedly close to zero.

My parents did not give up hope. For this conservative family, I represented the hope of continuing the family line. Therefore, my father traveled all over the country to find a suitable cornea, but all he received was a blow.

As I grew up day by day, life gradually drifted away from normal children, a crazy idea gradually emerged in my father's mind...

We moved out of the city and lived back to our remote rural hometown. Here, our mother quietly gave birth to a baby girl - a sister who is three years younger than me.

This baby girl did not stay at my house for long. Since the law prohibited live donations, my parents had to turn to the black market and paid the sky-high surgical fee without leaving any records. I opened my eyes for the first time when I was three years old.

And the baby girl was abandoned by her parents who were unable to raise one more child at the door of a couple who had not given birth to a child at the age of 40.

Even though I have made up my mind when doing it, perhaps only as a mother can feel the pain of being separated from my body. In my mother's heart, I have never really let go of that child, but reality does not allow them to have any connection.

The father's return with wealth is equivalent to rekindling the hope of getting together with his flesh and blood.

She planned to get the child back at all costs, but she didn't expect that her father was engaged in a drug business outside. He embezzled the boss's payment and fled home, and was caught up with him within a few days.

My mother was lucky enough to escape the disaster, but my father failed to escape the fate of tragic death. All the money was retrieved, including all the savings in the family. My mother, who had lost all hope, left a will to hang herself. The original family was the only one left.

In the end, I thought it clear that I should face the reality, take the initiative to take on the responsibilities left by my parents, and repay their sins.

I sold the house and found out about the couple. I knew that my sister's adoptive father worked in a hotel, so I also went there to find a security job, approached him, and confessed everything to him...

I was beaten hard by him that day and asked me not to get close to his family half a step.

But I never gave up. I told her that she would not let her sister know any truth, she just wanted to help her heal her eyes and give her a normal life.

Finally, I was finally allowed to approach my sister as my boyfriend and take on all the expenses of this family.

I know we are flesh and blood, but I know it too late. Love has already occupied my entire heart and I can't suppress my love for her.

While I was spending time together, I told myself over and over again that she was my biological sister, but it was still difficult to clear away the fantasy in my mind that I wanted to spend my whole life with her.

Finally, in an accident, I saw her body for the first time. The accumulated emotions and desires burst out in an instant. I couldn't control myself and I molested her.

Once things started, I couldn't stop. I was like a possessive, leaving traces of kissing and caressing on my biological sister's body countless times. God knows how much perseverance it took to stop me from going further, but this did not relieve my guilt at all.

I once thought about leaving her life, but by chance, I looked through her adoptive father's mobile phone. The content of the album made me feel like I was struck by lightning. There were nearly a hundred photos of Tongtong, most of which were taken while she was bathing and going to the toilet.

At that moment, I realized that there was a beast beside my sister and I couldn't just leave.

I made up my mind to cure Tongtong's eyes as soon as possible. I started selling blood and donating sperm. I had tried anything that could make money. I asked Tongtong's adoptive father to borrow money for surgery. He reluctantly agreed. We finally raised up 500,000, as if we saw the dawn of hope.

However, the results of the examination once again drove me into the hell of despair. I was unwilling to give up. I begged the dean with the human face and beast heart without telling it, but I heard the most shameless request I heard in my life.

How selfish can people be?

I always thought I was not a selfish person, I always thought I could give up everything for Tongtong, but that day I realized that I was no different from those selfish villains.

I could have insisted on refusing the deal proposed by the bastard named Zhou, but his words "either agree to my request or return your eyes to Tongtong" defeated me. I told myself that I must protect Tongtong and not lose these eyes, but I knew deeper in my heart that I was selfish after all.