A stock market crash in 2015 once again pushed China's A-shares to the forefront of criticism from scholars and poets.
Those experts who once pointed at 10,000 points suddenly disappeared, in exchange for painful reflections and ridicule of various online jokers such as the heroes who took over the country.
But for me, people who can still have some leisure to complain about it may feel uncomfortable when they stand and speak without any pain.
In this sharp drop that was no less than the stock market crash in 2008, those who lost all their lives had already gone to the rooftop or went to hell, and only half of their lives were left at most, so there was no leisure to guide the country.
For example, I am now exhausted and only one step away from the abyss.
As a post-80s generation who worked diligently in my position, I have been in a daze these days and it feels like a dream every day.
At the beginning of the year, under the strong instigation of my girlfriend, I invested all my savings into the stock market that is said to be able to create miracles. Half a year later, I personally experienced this miracle, but the price of the miracle stopped losing all my ideals for life for a young man who should have continued to move forward.
Risk risk, you always say risk.Do you love me or do you want to marry me?You and I are thirty years old, and you can’t even afford the down payment for buying a house. What else can you use to talk about loving me!
Walking like a lonely ghost in the bustling night, I recall from time to time the words my ex-girlfriend Lingling encouraged me to take risks.
Actually, I didn’t blame her very much. In the fanatical environment of the whole nation at that time, combined with the delusions that I, a poor second generation and who used to be the class beauty, could only blame people for their inequality and their cowardice exposed in the face of unrealistic fantasies.
In fact, neither Lingling nor I want to see the final outcome. It was one night when we returned to the pre-liberation. From the beginning of the year to the present, we were also blushing as we looked at the shrinking assets.
A week ago, I finally stopped the loss and recovered my last little savings, and on that historical day, I gave the goddess who had been regarded as a god by me for several years a strong mouth.
You are such a waste, you only have so much money left in your pocket, why do you still say you love me!?What should we do in the future? Are you planning to marry me?What about your promise to me?What about your bullshit ideals at the beginning!I'm so blind that I actually want to entrust you to the rest of my life!
Let’s break up, who do you like to find, my family and I can’t afford to go!
Bang.
To this day, I still think this may be a rare bold statement in my unsuccessful life.
But I also know that behind this free and easy life is the helplessness of having to release the other party.
After all, with Lingling's beauty, even though she is over thirty years old, she still has no shortage of suitors. It would be better for me to let go of it than letting me, a poor boy who can't see the future continue to torture each other.
It was late winter. Looking at the skyscrapers with bright lights and wine, looking at the pedestrians on the road going their separate ways in the cold wind, and looking at the record that had been preserved, which recorded the arrival of 98,250 yuan, I realized that this was the only wealth left now.
That day, I moved out of the house where Lingling and I rented. In order to escape the dilemma at home, I temporarily moved to a small hotel worth about 100 yuan.
Lying on the damp bed in the hotel, smoking the 8 yuan Hongtashan that can only be used to smoke, there is a bucket of Master Kong instant noodles on hand. Thinking about the person who is already thirty years old, now he has to start over.
I wanted to open Baidu Tieba to pretend to be a rich and handsome man to tease me, but I really didn't have the energy to make these self-deceptions.
At this moment, the phone suddenly remembered that the name on the caller ID was not Lingling, who had not been in contact with me for several days, but her mother who was far away from home.
Ma Le, is your work going smoothly recently?
fine……
How are you getting along with Lingling?
fine……
I have something to ask you.
kindness……
Do you have 3,000 yuan? I will lend it to me and I will pay it back to you next month.
mom!Have you lost all again?It was only a few months since I borrowed it last time, why did you borrow it again?
Mom is not playing cards. Recently, she has a look at a financial management company and is still missing a few thousand yuan...
Do you treat me as a three-year-old?Every time I look for various reasons, but in the end I just go to play cards!Have you forgotten why my dad was separated from you!After so many years...
OK OK OK, just forget it if you can't borrow it, don't mention that bastard to me, if it weren't for that vixen... Woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo w
OK OK OK I'll transfer it to you on WeChat!Save some money for yourself!
Don’t imitate your dad to be heartless. You are a big city and you are a good person, and your mother is still suffering in the countryside.
OK, stop talking, do you want it?
OK, transfer it to me as soon as possible.
At the moment my mom was about to hang up, I even heard another aunt calling her name for the game that was about to start.
In fact, I have made up various reasons to borrow money from me once or twice. Five years ago, it was her bet-making nature that finally left my father angry. I can't forgive her easily until now.
But sometimes thinking about her current situation, she is laid off female worker and earns some living expenses by opening a convenience store every month. Her son works in a big city, but her success is obviously far away. The loneliness of no one around her has created great pressure. I feel pity for her and even hate myself.
To put it bluntly, if I could make enough money, these problems would naturally be wiped out, but now I lost my savings and lost my girlfriend. Even this unreliable mother, I don’t know how to face her in the future.
After transferring the money to my mother that night, I lay silently on the bed and thought for a long time.
Every bit of everything from childhood to adulthood has been imprinted in my heart. Lingling's initial expectations and final disappointment for me, her mother's constant expectation for me and her constant indulgence in herself, and her father's increasingly blurred figure and rare smile kept flashing like a revolving lantern.
I knew I was not qualified to be sad with time, and my eyes that had not yet cried for a long time still shed tears that no one would cherish.
The next morning, I was afraid of being deducted money, so I was never late. It was rare that I didn’t get to work until nine in the morning.
Fortunately, from leaders to colleagues, I know my daily diligence, so no one is unspeakable about my lateness.
As the saying goes, being busy is the best medicine to relieve worries. This day I worked harder than usual, for fear that I would think randomly when I was idle.
For the whole day, Lingling still never contacted me.
I admitted that I couldn't help but want to contact her, but I couldn't help but feel embarrassed, so I had to use my hard work to dilute my inner demons.
I have never been as afraid of getting off work as I am now, because I will be at a loss, and I am even more afraid that the silence of a person will make me unable to help but miss Lingling again.
Maybe I am indeed a cowardly man who is unwilling to make me feel ruthless because of loneliness and troubles about the future that I can't stand the long night. Fortunately, I still have a little bit of rationality and understand that I am now like a piece of shit, and anyone who gets involved will cause trouble for them.
On the night of early winter, I, who never dared to be arrogant and lewd, noticed a small bar emitting dim light on the side of the road after wandering around in the lonely ghosts.
I was really bored at that time and walked into the bar for the first time in my life.
The bar is not far from the small hotel where I temporarily stayed. The dim word "Sister Bar" is written on the dilapidated facade.
Maybe I can go to bed immediately after I drink two drinks... With a slight nervousness and a hint of expectation, I pushed open the door of the bar and opened another period of my life.
The bar is very small, but fortunately the cleaning is quite clean.
But whether from the simple small stage or only eight tables, the bar seems to have the word "cheap" written on the table, which looks like a poor boy like me who wants to drink but is afraid of spending money.
When I walked in, there were roughly two or three groups of guests on the eight narrow tables, and the bar itself seemed to be just a waitress and a male bartender sitting in the small bar in the corner.
What do you need, sir?After I sat down, the waitress who seemed quite cute came over immediately.
First... let's take three bottles of Carlsberg.After looking through the drink list, I knew very well that I could afford beer.In my limited understanding, I have watched Carlsberg advertisements on TV.
Sir, please wait.
The waitress smiled politely to me and turned away. But to be honest, her service attitude was unexpectedly good. If Lingling had been polite to me, we might not have reached this point today.
After a while, three bottles of beer were sent by the waiter, but I took the opportunity to point to the small stage in the innermost part of the bar.
Will there be a resident singer here?
We usually don’t invite resident singers to sing, but the female boss in the store sometimes goes up to sing two songs to cheer up when there are too many people.
How many bosses are there in the store?
There are two female bosses in total. The one who often comes on stage is our little boss named Coco.
Oh, then... won't there be any more today?I mean a resident singer.
Sorry, she didn't come today.If you want to listen to the song, come again at 8 o'clock tomorrow, and Coco will come tomorrow.
OK...Thank you...
I originally wanted to drink to relieve my sorrows, but when I saw that there was no singer singing, I had to drink silently while playing with my phone.
Fortunately, I was really unable to drink, and I was already a little fluttering after drinking two bottles of Carlsberg.
In the hazy state, I found that the only waitress here is slim and cute. Occasionally, I looked up and peeked at her, but it added some fun to the depressed night.
About an hour later, I drank three bottles of wine.
Piaopiao, which is rare once a year, actually feels very good.
But just as I wanted to check out and leave and went back to the small hotel to have a good sleep, Lingling suddenly sent a WeChat message.
I have moved my own things and you can come back tomorrow.The rent is still one month away, and I have asked the agent to refund the deposit to me.You can decide whether to renew the lease or change the place.
When I saw the WeChat message sent by Lingling, I couldn't help but call her, but what I heard was the echo of the user being turned off.
I wanted to send a WeChat message immediately, but I didn't type in my phone.
If you think about it carefully, what can I say?
All the points are divided. Even if I am poor, will it be so difficult to blame her for taking away the trivial matters of several thousand deposits?
Since it is impossible to ask the other party to get back together, there is no need to argue about these small profits and add to both sides' worries.
Three more bottles of Carlsberg!With a bitter smile, I simply chose to continue drinking. Alcohol was the only thing that could make me happy at this time.
In the hazy, I recalled every bit of my time with Lingling, from unrequited love in college to a miraculous confession when I was about to graduate.
From the common expectation for the future when I first entered society, to the gradual indifference under the oppression of reality, from the nervousness and persistence when I first invested in the stock market, to the negative attitude when I almost lost all, I hate Lingling's reality, but I hate my own uselessness.
Memories have been transferred from the little things I have with Lingling to my parents.
The flashbacks in my mind unfolded, including the mother's good bets in recent years, the father suddenly left without saying goodbye one day five years ago, the fierce quarrels they had at home a few years ago, and the two of them showed caring smiles at the young me when they were young.
Sir, sir, we are closed.
When I heard the waitress greeting, I suddenly realized that I had fallen asleep at some point.
I looked up at the clock at the bar door and found that it was already one o'clock in the morning, which immediately made me wake up a lot.
The waitress's bright big eyes were staring at me with confusion, but fortunately she didn't seem to care that I had been sleeping here for so long.
Yes... I'm sorry... I didn't realize I was asleep.I hurriedly packed my clothes and took out two hundred yuan and put them on the table.
Sir, are you okay?I was crying in my sleep just now.While finding the change to me, the waitress asked thoughtfully.
Sorry, I laughed at you, I'm fine.
Unexpectedly, I was so embarrassed that I was getting more and more embarrassed. I quickly put on my coat, walked out of the bar, and at one o'clock in the morning, I walked through several quiet streets and returned to my residence while touching the black.
After get off work the next day, I returned to the home where I lived with Lingling. Although I was only nine days away from home, I felt like I was a different life.
After opening the door, I saw the obvious emptiness brought by Lingling's removal of her belongings. The popularity of the past dissipated with people's hearts. Lingling and I had a good memory and the reality of the current separation of labor. I suddenly understood what it means to see things and think of people, and what it means to be sad and hard to bear.
I sat silently on the bed at home, lit the cigarette silently, flirted with WeChat Moments casually, and looked at those friends who were much luckier than me, and everyone seemed to be showing off their happiness.
It was not until this time that I noticed that Lingling had posted a post on Moments just two days ago.
A photo with a handsome guy, accompanied by a sentence: Holding your hand and growing old together, hitting my chest hard like a heavy hammer.
A handsome man is handsome, haha... It's not bad, at least she has found a home...haha...
That night, I finally didn't have to stay in a small hotel to avoid Lingling, but suddenly I found that I had been struggling for my ideals for several years, and I didn't even have a good friend who could find a drink together at night.
Over the past few years, my life at the two points and one line may have made me aging before I grow old and become a real lser, wandering outside the core of this world.
Sorry, the female boss didn't come today.If you want to listen to the song, come back tomorrow at 8 o'clock, and Coco will come tomorrow.
I looked up at my watch, but it was just seven o'clock in the evening. When I thought about spending a long time alone tonight, and tomorrow is Saturday, I suddenly remembered what the bar waiter said last night.
After thinking about the money in my pocket, I thought that it would take only half an hour to get from here to the bar, so I decided to go to the affordable small bar tonight.
No matter how simple the equipment in the bar is, if you can hear her singing, it is at least much better than me alone.
Anyway, I am already alone, so why bother with those two wine money?
More than half an hour later, when I pushed open the bar curtain again, the first thing I saw was a small blackboard after entering the door, which read "Sexy singer Keke" on stage to 8 o'clock tonight.
Perhaps because someone sang tonight, seven of the eight tables of Taichung had already seated guests, and the simple little bar also had a little more popularity than last night.
Sir, you are here again.
As soon as I entered the door, the waitress who was cute and probably not old smiled at me.
It seems that I slept in a bar yesterday and was crying in my sleep, which made the other party remember me quickly.
Sorry, I'm here to disturb you again tonight.Let me have three bottles of Carlsberg first.
In the past few years, except Lingling, I haven't enjoyed the smile of a young girl at me for a long time, which makes me feel a little embarrassed.
It doesn’t matter, sir, you are polite. My name is Xiaojing. If you need it, you can call me anytime.
After leading me to the last empty seat, the waitress named Xiaojing smiled and went to greet other guests.
I shook my head with a wry smile, thinking that this waitress named Xiaojing is really cute.
Not long after sitting down, a tall beauty in black with long and straight black hair walked onto the small stage.
She held the guitar in her hand, and seemed to not care about the guests in the audience, and started singing on her own.
Her voice was a little hoarse, and she looked like Tian Zhen. However, she looked only in her twenties. If she was the boss here, she would have been young and had a lot of things to do.
You said... you have nothing, how can you live with me together?I said... I was covered in bruises, so how could I stay with you for the rest of my life?You said...you are in the world and you may be full of dangers.I said... I saw through the world, life is like a walking corpse... AhAh... How can we not be together like this? In such a way, we can at least walk hand in hand to the tomb of the joint burial.
The simple tone of the guitar is paired with very sad lyrics, and the hoarse voice of the female singer named Coco immediately made the bar filled with a sense of compassion.
Some customers were still chatting and drinking on their own, while others were quickly attracted by the song.
As for myself, I quickly became the latter. The lyrics were filled with coldness, which once again hit my fragile heart.
‘Will you walk hand in hand toward the tomb of the joint burial? What kind of experience can you write such lyrics? Ah…’ I, who rarely listen to original songs, savored the taste in the lyrics with fuss.
Soon after the song was finished, the female singer didn't even look at the guests in the audience in the audience and began to sing the second song.
However, from the second song, it is no longer an original song, but a bitter song like "Love me Don't Leave", if this is not considered a love song, or a heart like a knife.
However, whether it is original songs or other famous songs, they always implement a style of depression and depression. The female singer is enough to cover half of her face and a black dress. Combined with the dim lights in the small bar, it continues to build a sad atmosphere in the bar.
The female singer sang a total of eight songs and then stood up from her seat.Amidst the scattered applause, she tried to leave, but found that one of the male guests had already stood beside her.
The male guest gestured a gesture that he couldn't see clearly. The female singer nodded silently, and the two of them got into the curtain next to the small stage together.
At the same time, I just finished drinking three bottles of Carlsberg and called Xiaojing to my side.
Will Miss Coco stop singing later?I, who had been immersed in the singing just now, wanted to order two more bottles of wine and ask Xiaojing questions.
Sister Keke only sings seven or eight songs every day. She is the little boss here and there is no reward for singing, so she is unwilling to sing too tiring.
After putting two bottles of beer on the table, Xiaojing responded politely.
OK, thank you.Your female boss sang well.I was quite disappointed with Coco's departure, but I still squeezed out an understanding smile on my face.
Sister Coco will be on stage about two or three times a week. I hope you will come and sit there often in the future.
I guess I have been accustomed to customers who like to listen to Coco's hoarse voices for a long time. Xiaojing smiled politely to me.
Then he turned around and left as other guests greeted him.
It was already ten o'clock in the evening, and I was afraid that I would fall asleep again, so I decided to drink the last two bottles and leave.
As Coco left, there were fewer and fewer customers in the bar, and soon only a middle-aged man at another table was left with me and a middle-aged man drinking the last bit of wine.
Just as I was about to finish my last glass of wine, the male guest who had just walked into the curtain with Keke finally came out, and Xiaojing immediately got into the curtain.
About five minutes later, Xiaojing came out of the door curtain again, walked to the only middle-aged man who was left in the bar except me, and whispered to him.
The middle-aged man seemed to have a happy face and immediately stood up and walked into the curtain next to the stage.
Although I was surprised by the two men's entry and exit at that time, because I was not very familiar with the world, only foreign guests could go in and chat with Coco at the first time.
Out of fear of loneliness and a bit of pity for the sadness in the cocoa song, I called Xiaojing who started to clean up the table, first gave her the money for the wine, and then asked: Please ask, what do these guests who walked into the curtains do?
These two are regular customers here.
When I suddenly asked, Xiaojing unexpectedly put away her professional smile, and a little panic appeared on her face. Her answer did not directly solve my question.
If you have regular customers, can you go to the backstage?Then if I come here too many times, I can go in?I still couldn't figure out the situation and continued to ask questions about the second issue.
This...is not easy to say.But if you want to go in, you have to pay more... and you are not sure if you are suitable for going in...
While Xiao Jing continued to answer in a squeamish manner, although it was not certain at the time, the simple little bar, the singer in the dark night, gathered with regular customers in the backstage, and the regular customers came in and paid for them after entering the curtain. Combining these points, even if I didn't understand, I vaguely guessed the answer.
It's strange that I was neither interested in this at that time nor did I think this small bar was simply filthy.
When Xiaojing said that I was not suitable for entering, I suddenly felt anger, anger that was looked down upon.
Is it because I drink while crying, and only drink Carlsberg every time, which makes people seem to be unable to afford this little money?
The negative emotions that had been negative for several days suddenly broke out under the influence of alcohol. I stood up from my seat suddenly and stared at Xiaojing in front of me with dissatisfaction.
My loud shouting not only brought Xiaojing's terror, but also attracted two other people.
One of them was a young bartender who had been helping guests bartending in the corner, and the other was a plump young woman who walked out of the small curtain beside the stage when she heard the sound.
Sir, you don't understand what we are doing.The back of the curtain may not be suitable for you, but it has nothing to do with how much money you have.
The young woman seemed to be in her early thirties, and her tone of speaking showed majesty in her calm tone.
Judging from her coming and blocking Xiaojing and me, the young woman's status here seems to be higher than that of Xiaojing.
Why not suitable for me?Because I'm poor?Because I shed tears?I only know that Miss Coco sings very well, whether it is bruised or walking dead, I think the lyrics mean that everyone should continue to live strongly.
Seeing that the young woman with a very gentle appearance bravely stood in front of Xiaojing, I felt that I had become the evil man here.
Although I was still making a point of being unreasonable on my lips, I felt a little regretful in my heart that my bad attitude just now.
There are some things that cannot be said explicitly. I just hope that sir, you don’t easily get into our muddy waters without knowing it...
At this moment, not only was the young woman standing beside Xiaojing and me, but even the door curtains, the bartender who looked quite young and handsome also stood beside the young woman and glared at me.
As the only male employee of this bar, I believe that if I escalate the situation again, he might have to take action against me.
The stalemate lasted for less than ten seconds, but something unexpected happened suddenly.
As a swearing sounded, the middle-aged man who had just entered the door curtain actually walked out angrily while carrying his pants.
What a shameful thing? Isn’t it just a shemale? How many people have fucked her asshole? I’m still pretending to be pure here with me!
The middle-aged man's screams and scolding suddenly shocked everyone present.The young woman's face immediately changed, and she didn't care about me who looked even less threatening, so she took the bartender to meet her.
Mr. Zhang, hasn’t my Coco always been your favorite?Why are you so unhappy today?
The young woman signaled the bartender to go in the back of the curtain to look at Coco, while she tried to stabilize the middle-aged man with a professional smile.
Humph, I have looked for her three times, but today I actually told me that I was tired.I obviously spent money, why don’t a shemale let me fuck my asshole!
Yes, yes, you are right. Coco is sometimes too personal, and I apologize to you for her.
Listening to the middle-aged man cursing with a shemale on the left and the asshole on the right, the young woman's face seemed to flash a hint of anger, but she still smiled and gave up the way for the middle-aged man to leave.
Joey is still caring. I will fuck your pussy next time I come again, hahaha.
Faced with the young woman's professional comfort, the middle-aged man who seemed to have been scratched a few times on his face was in a better mood and then walked towards the bar door.
But at this moment, the young bartender who had just gone to check the situation of Coco suddenly rushed out of the curtain and shouted angrily: Sister Qiao, don’t let him go, he obviously did everything, but he just didn’t give him any money!
Hearing the bartender's angry shout, Joey and Xiaojing's faces suddenly changed, and the middle-aged man immediately put away his arrogant attitude and walked quickly towards the bar door while everyone was behind him.
It’s obviously a group of shemale men, but to put it bluntly, it doesn’t even count on people. What’s wrong with playing? You guys think of you.If you make me angry, go to the police!
The middle-aged man was about to walk to the door, but he suddenly found that another man was blocking his presence.
Although this man is not able to figure out the situation, he has nowhere to vent his resentment over the past few days, and he is even more disgusted with this middle-aged man who is full of fat and arrogant to others.
This man is me.
I only know that no matter how high or low a person, I should not be bullied by a bastard like you, your uncle!
Before the middle-aged man could react, I slapped him in the face and stumbled him.
You, a slutty, dare to hit me... While the middle-aged man covered his face, the expression on his face had changed from arrogance just now to a full of fear.
You're the one who beats you!Why do you look down on the working people?People also make a living by working, do you think you have two bad money?
Before the middle-aged man could stand still, I had a big mouth and swung it to the other side of his face.
OK, good guy... stop beating... stop beating... The middle-aged man was completely timid now. Facing the fierce face, I immediately knelt on the ground, completely gone astray as before.
snort!Just remember it!
I finally got the anger in my chest, and looked up at Joey, Xiaojing and the bartender with surprise on my face while wearing my coat freely.
I have been suppressed by reality for many years and almost forgot what a bloody man is. Now this belated explosion makes my heart full of heroism.
My name is Male. Please remember my name next time.Seeing that the situation had subsided, I used the alcohol to show off my might to everyone behind me.
But what I didn't expect was that just as I turned around and tried to leave casually, the middle-aged man who had already admitted his guilt suddenly picked up a bottle of wine at hand and hit me on the top of my head while I was unprepared.
After a thud, the wine bottle shattered, and the middle-aged man took the opportunity to push me away and fled. But I felt a burst of blood start to flow out from the top of my head. After drinking, my body, which was not very firm, suddenly shook left and right.
Hahaha, it seems that even being strong is so difficult... I really... quite failed... Before I fainted, I vaguely remembered everything about me laughing at myself.
In the hazy state, Xiaojing and the young woman Joey seemed to run towards me.
This sleep is not dreaming, and the dual effects of alcohol and injury bring about a rare deep sleep.
It was not until dawn that I opened my eyes and found myself lying in a strange room.
The room is very small, with only the next bed and a dressing table. It is not difficult to find that it should be a bedroom here. Judging from the warm sheets and various cosmetics placed on the dressing table, this is another women's bedroom.
You are awake~ Just as I was looking at myself with bandages in the mirror, the bedroom door was pushed open, and the person coming in was Xiaojing, a waiter from my sister bar.
From the look she looked at me, she could clearly express her concern.
It seems that I fainted here last night... I'm sorry... I realized that I should be taken care of by the people in this bar for a night, and then thinking about my drunkenness last night, I apologized to Xiaojing apologized.
It doesn’t matter. After you get this, Mr. Zhang probably won’t dare to call the police and smash our place again.So we should thank you for protecting us in at least another way.
Until now, I really faced and observed the cute girl who was not young in front of me.
At this time, Xiaojing was wearing a pink loose sweater, her long shawl of moderate length was scattered on her shoulders, her round cheeks were inlaid with bright eyes, and her small nose and mouth highlighted her cuteness.
Xiaojing is not short and fat and thin. Her thighs and buttocks wrapped in jeans outline a healthy curve, giving people a youthful feeling outside of working hours.
You are such a weirdo. You slept here twice in a row, one more time than the other, and now... you just slept in my bed.
Although I only met for two days, after experiencing last night's storm, Xiaojing seemed not disgusted with me. She sat on the round stool beside the bed, staring at me with a smile on her face.
I...I'm still very embarrassed, after all, I've caused you trouble and I'm still sleeping with you.
I have not had such a close contact with such a cute girl except Lingling for many years, which makes me feel embarrassed immediately.
I must admit that even though Xiaojing is not as beautiful as a big star, her appearance is very cute, and her sweet temperament and youthful atmosphere are infecting me at any time.
It’s ours that we should say sorry... You were kicked out last night, so it’s logical that we should take you to the hospital.However, we have never been willing to show up in public. Sister Qiao finally discussed with me and had to treat you here first.
Xiaojing said as she looked at the bandage on my head. Seeing that there was no more bleeding, her face showed a look of relief.
When I heard Xiaojing's apology, I fell into silence.Because her words obviously mean that the women in the bar are likely to sell both alcohol and meat, so they are unwilling to show up for fear of being caught by the police.
Suddenly I was stunned for a moment because I suddenly remembered some of the words of the middle-aged man last night.
Even though I am not inconvenient to explore Xiaojing and others' professions too much, there is one thing I have to ask about.
Xiao... Xiaojing, please forgive me for taking the blame... that Miss Coco... is a human... that... is that... a transgender person?Trying to maintain a calm tone, I spoke carefully.
...Sir, do you... think we are scary because of this?
After I asked a question, Xiaojing was obviously a little stunned, pursed her thin lips and thought for a while, and then used a vague rhetorical question to confirm my guess.
No...I'm not the kind of person who is superficial... I saw that Xiaojing's expression was very contradictory, so I couldn't bear to ask more questions.
But although the words are beautiful, I must admit that my heart is beginning to fight against heaven and man.
But before I could finish my speech, the bedroom door was pushed open again, and this time the young woman Joey, who came in, was called Sister Qiao.
She first bent down and lowered her head, carefully checked the bandage that no longer oozed my head, then straightened her back and said to me: Let me answer you on behalf of Xiaojing.This bar is called Sister Bar, which refers to me, Coco and Xiaojing. We have no blood relationship but are like sisters. Of course there are no shemale here. That word is simply an insult to them.Coco and Xiaojing are transgender people, Coco is ts, and Xiaojing is still in the CD stage.As for what are ts and cd, you can check your phone.
During the day, Joey had a little more strength like a big sister, and lesser the flattery when socializing guests.
Judging from her tone, the courage to stand up last night, and her age should be the same as me, Joey should be the boss of this bar and the backbone of Coco, Xiaojing and others.
But she actually told me bluntly, and she had eliminated some of her vigilance from me because of my righteous help last night.
It’s strange that I have never had a hobby for prostitution, or I dare not even dare to ask Hua and Liu for any inappropriate thoughts. However, when I was browsing Zhihu a few months ago, I accidentally saw what Ts and CDs mean.
In short, Ts is a transgender person who starts to use surgery on his face, including plastic surgery, plastic surgery, breast augmentation and buttocks.
CD refers to a sissy who is naturally beautiful and uses makeup to dress up as a woman.
I...I know what ts is and what CD is... Although I heard it from the middle-aged man last night, I was still shocked to my chin almost fall off when I heard Joey admit it on the spot.
Because in my impression, shemale should either dance with heavy makeup on the stage like on TV, or be as ugly as those perverted uncles.
And according to the general idea, shouldn't shemale be in Thailand? I didn't expect that my in life would actually meet several of them.
What I can't believe even more is that Xiao Jing, who is mature and dignified, cute and smart, is as youthful as a girl, and Coco, who is graceful in black last night, is actually originally a man.
And when I turned to Xiaojing with a questioning look, I noticed a hint of embarrassment on her face. It seemed that being recognized by strangers still meant trouble for them.
Sir, don't blame me for being straightforward.Although I also thank you for your kind help last night, our group is too dark, and it is best not to be too close to us for irrelevant people.I tell you this, and I hope you will get out of here.I still have some money here, so it should be enough for you to take it to see a doctor.If you want to drink in the future, you can come here to drink, but we should still keep a distance.
Joey said, and took out the 20 hundred-dollar bills that were estimated to be found.
No... No... No, no matter how I think of you, I wouldn't have done that last night for this little money.Since breaking up with Lingling, I especially disliked being given charity, and immediately rejected Joey's kindness.
Sister Qiao... When I waved and declined the RMB handed over by Joey, I vaguely heard Xiaojing calling Joey in a complaining tone.
Perhaps in comparison, Xiaojing is still a child who is not well-informed, and Joey, as the boss here, has long matured because he has seen the strong winds and waves.
I feel like I'm almost done, otherwise I won't bother me... No matter what, my reason tells me that Joey is right.
We have never lived for life. The other party is both prostituting and has a few shocking transgender people. It is better for me, a poor and stupid boy, not to trek into this muddy water.
But what surprised me again was that when I wanted to get up, Joey suddenly showed a soft expression and gently pressed my shoulders to prevent me from standing up easily from the bed.
I looked up at Joey's seductive eyes in confusion, and then heard her explanation.
I hope you don’t mind sir. We dare not get too involved with you just because of a kind of protection for you and ourselves.But we are not cold-blooded animals. It is already eleven o'clock now. Please give me lunch before leaving.
Yes, we usually open until five o'clock in the afternoon, and there is nothing to do during the day, so let's have a meal together.Xiaojing seemed overjoyed to hear Joey suddenly try to keep me for dinner.
In fact, it’s not just me who wants to invite you. The person who really wants to invite you to dinner is Coco. You should know that you were like helping her ventilate last night.She served Mr. Zhang with all her heart last night, but the other party found fault and was useless.
Seeing my expression begin to soften, Joey immediately showed his ability to see people's hearts and continued to keep me in a gentle tone like his sister.
Faced with the invitation from Joey and Xiaojing, I suddenly realized that I hadn't had a good meal for several days. I went back to before I broke up with Lingling. The last month was basically spent in the cold war and quarrels. No one cooked and ate naturally, it was very casual, which made me not able to sit down and have a meal with someone close to me for a long time.
Then I'll bother you.
The desire to get rid of loneliness quickly defeated the traditional Chinese courtesy.
Even if the other party is a group of heretics who are often considered dead shemale and perverted, I don’t want to treat them with tinted glasses.
You should know that I am just a cloud of mud, so why should I look down on others?
Then I'll help, hehe.After hearing what I said, I could stay for dinner, Xiaojing immediately became happy and jumped out of the bedroom.
In addition to being a polite waiter, this child also lacks real friends. Alas... Our identity is destined to die in our country, and Xiaojing has suffered.
As I put on my clothes and walked out of bed, Joey murmured to me, and it could be seen that Xiaojing was as loving as her sister to her.
Only after walking out of the bedroom can you see the full picture here.
This place is equivalent to a larger shop and house. There is a simple bar outside the door curtain, and there is an aisle and three small bedrooms inside the door curtain.
The bathroom and kitchen are located in the bar outside the curtain. As for everyone to have a meal together, they can only sit at the only large table outside the bar.
I finished washing and walked to the dining table. The hot pot was cooked on the induction cooker on the table, and various seasonings were placed in the hot pot.
Several plates of frozen beef and mutton, as well as vegetables, potatoes, broad flour and sesame cakes bought from the vegetable market were also placed on the table.
Around the table, in addition to Xiao Jing, who was wearing a loose sweater and Joey, who was wearing a dark red thick cotton coat, there were also bartenders and cocoa.
My name is Xiao Yunshan, you can call me Shanzi.
When I saw me approaching, I looked like I was in my early twenties. The bartender, who looked much more handsome than me, immediately stretched out his right hand friendly. It seemed that as the only male here, he treated the same-sex people quite friendly.
My name is Male, and my indecent nickname is Male Gobi, haha.
After I laughed at myself for the nickname I used to be in school, Xiaojing immediately burst out laughing, and Joey and Shanzi couldn't help but smile, but Keke was still expressionless, as if thinking.
Thank you yesterday. There was no smile or handshake. If Joey hadn't said that the invitation to this meal came from Coco, I would have thought her attitude was like seeing off guests.
It's nothing, don't mind, I just don't like to see others bullying others with power.
Thinking about Coco's cold temperament when he performed last night, I immediately felt relieved.
This cocoa only wears cool-toned clothing during the day, and her hair is so disheveled that it is even a bit unkempt. It is very similar to those non-mainstream people. These people may generally have a distorted personality.
I have invited this today. No matter whether I have the fate in the future, I hope to be a person who can repay kindness.
Keke, who was still vigilant, said at least a few words of thanks, and then sat down without caring about my reaction.
‘Maybe those who play art are a little nervous.’At that time, I used this reasonable reason to comfort myself.Since I came, I felt at ease, so I immediately chose to sit down and have a meal.
After sitting in the free seat for me, everyone started to smoky the meat.
When we first started eating, Shanzi praised me for his bravery yesterday. I took the opportunity to observe the four people present.
Among the four, Joey, as the big boss, has a higher status than Xiaojing, but also than Coco and Shanzi.
She was like a noble lady, with her hair tied behind her head, her eyes were straightened, her skin was very white, and the tears moles under the corners of her eyes were particularly conspicuous. She was mixed with the gentleness of the young woman and the boss's unhurried and powerful self-righteousness in her conversation. She was the leader here.
Shanzi is a young and cheerful young man with a tall figure and a joke. As the only male, he can easily act as a blender for several people.
However, it is interesting that Yamako and Joey seem to have a particularly close relationship, and their eyes look at each other are somewhat ambiguous. I wonder if the two have further relationships between men and women in addition to their working relationships.
As the little boss and singer here, Coco is simply a fairy who is not in the world, or a witch, is more appropriate.
Her eyes were also very big and bright, but there was always a look of toughness between her eyebrows.
Her lips are actually thick and sexy, and her skin is as white as Westerners.
She rarely spoke during meals, as if she was worried, but her eyes were quite empty.
As for Xiaojing, she is a typical junior among the four. Joey, Shanzi and Keke became Sister Qiao, Brother Shanzi and Keke in her mouth.
Xiaojing's skin is wheat-colored but has a good skin texture, which can reflect the traces of youth.
She also talked the most during the meal, and she took the lead in mentioning most of the topics related to me today.
Mr. Ma, why are you drinking alone?
Because no one can drink with me...
Then why are you crying when you fall asleep?
Because I just broke up... and I have been rebelling against poverty overnight.
Oh... Sorry, I might have asked what I shouldn't have asked.
It’s nothing, breaking and reuniting is not my own patent, so there is nothing that cannot be mentioned.
So... I really want to know why I can't continue to get along with your ex-girlfriend?
Because... letting go is also a kind of fulfillment...
After I accidentally said some kind of slogan of great love, everyone present looked curious, and even Coco, who always lowered his head to eat, suddenly asked: Tell me about your experience. The people here have nothing to do with your real life, so you can say it boldly.
Coco is right. Although I don’t like being sympathized with, it is indeed not a solution to always hide sadness in my heart.
Moreover, in reality, I dare not talk to acquaintances, but I can just say it here.
So I first briefly introduced my divorced parents and poor background, and then began to talk about the conflicts between me and Lingling in recent years, as well as the painful lessons learned after investing in the stock market.
Finally, when I said that Lingling should have found a partner now and I deeply blessed her, I noticed that the expressions on Xiaojing and Keke seemed to have a fleeting strange look.
In fact, what Mr. Ma is most bored is his unwillingness to life.After listening to me, the mature Joey said her judgment to the point.
Sister Qiao is right. I have worked hard over the years but have achieved such a result. It is indeed difficult for me to accept.For example, in bars like ours, I rarely visit them in order to save money.I have never dared to take a vacation or go out for a trip for several years because I really want to save up the down payment to buy a house. Alas... The simple communication once again aroused my inner self-blame, and I couldn't help but sigh.
Actually, I understand Mr. Ma’s feelings very much.It’s like we are not voluntarily becoming what we are now.We can know how to be grateful, know how to manage and even have talent, but the deviation of orientation or the pressure of reality makes us have to go to the dark life under the night.
Although I can't understand the lives of these prostitutes or transgender people from the details, I can guess that their lives must be more difficult than ordinary people, so I can also sympathize with Joey's sigh at this moment.
But if you ask me, Mr. Ma, you don’t have to be discouraged. After all, you still have a job and are still in your battle.Seeing that the atmosphere at the scene was a little sad, Shanzi hurriedly spoke to smooth things over.
You are right, it's just starting over, hahaha.Everyone has their own worries, but unfortunately I am not rich, otherwise I can order more expensive wine to support the business every time I come.
Mr. Ma joked, we will not forget your righteousness yesterday.I will come to our shop to have a drink in the future and I will give you a 20% discount.
In Joey's cheerful voice, we gathered together, and the wine was pleasant, and the atmosphere of lunch was getting better.
In the following time, most of the topics still revolved around me, and I was afraid that I would say the wrong thing, because some sensitive issues hurt this group of mysterious transgender people, so I just greeted Joey and others with a flash of hard work, so I stopped asking about their lives too much.
Even so, I still learned from their conversation that the bar is operating poorly, but everyone needs a place to live.
Joey didn't shy away from their involvement in prostitution, but in her opinion, the reason she did this was just to make more money.
This meal had a profound impact on me, that is, I found that these women or transgender people who were obviously still engaged in prostitution also had the same views and worries as ordinary people.
I don't think that as an ordinary person, there are any obstacles to communicating with them. On the contrary, I think these people are more hospitality, and even more good people with true temperament than ordinary people.
Even though I learned about the third sexual identity of Coco and Xiaojing, although I did not regard them as women in my heart for the time being, looking at Xiaojing and Coco, who are of different styles but are cute or charming, it is certainly even more impossible to associate them as men.
The first time in my life, I felt the unique feeling that I had when I had sex with my third sexual intercourse. The three more delicate people are more free and easy than women. They are more approachable than ordinary girls.
The green mountains remain unchanged and the green water flows forever. Thank you very much for your hospitality. We will have a date later.
Before leaving, I waved to Joey and others again. After a simple but unlucky lunch, these people looked like real friends in my heart.
Mr. Ma walked slowly and came to drink often when he had time.When I was sending me out, I could see that the smile on Joey's face not only included professionalism, but also a hint of mutual appreciation that both fell into the world.
Thank you for maintaining me with your behavior last night.Even Coco, who hadn't spoken a few times in total, stood up and thanked me. It seemed that she, who looked cold, might also have a delicate heart.
Remember to come often. This is my WeChat account. If you want to come in the future, you can contact me before you can come. I can notify you in advance when Sister Coco will appear.
Seeing that I had started wearing my coat, Xiaojing hurriedly took out her cell phone and opened the QR code on WeChat.
What is interesting is that Xiaojing seems to want to talk to me more than Joey and Coco. Perhaps it is precisely because of what Joey said that Xiaojing is indeed lonely.
Thank you for looking down on me. It has been a long time since I had such a good meal as today.
After adding WeChat to Xiaojing, I ended up spending all night and half a day in my sister bar.
But at that time I didn't expect that from that day on, my destiny would be firmly tied to these three people, and it was difficult to separate.
At that time, I had just come into contact with the mellow and righteous side of these transgender people's personalities, but I didn't know that their temperament, personality and even life were as complicated as their gender.
It was not until a long time later that Xiaojing told me that after that day, Joey, Coco and Xiaojing had a good evaluation of me, not only because of my righteous help, but also because I always restrained my curiosity in this tentative lunch and did not ask any questions that I might not have asked.
While protecting their self-esteem, they do not regard themselves as normal people and do not look down on prostitution or transgender groups condescendingly.
Men like me may not be handsome or rich, but in their extraordinary values, they have become models of good men.
Those experts who once pointed at 10,000 points suddenly disappeared, in exchange for painful reflections and ridicule of various online jokers such as the heroes who took over the country.
But for me, people who can still have some leisure to complain about it may feel uncomfortable when they stand and speak without any pain.
In this sharp drop that was no less than the stock market crash in 2008, those who lost all their lives had already gone to the rooftop or went to hell, and only half of their lives were left at most, so there was no leisure to guide the country.
For example, I am now exhausted and only one step away from the abyss.
As a post-80s generation who worked diligently in my position, I have been in a daze these days and it feels like a dream every day.
At the beginning of the year, under the strong instigation of my girlfriend, I invested all my savings into the stock market that is said to be able to create miracles. Half a year later, I personally experienced this miracle, but the price of the miracle stopped losing all my ideals for life for a young man who should have continued to move forward.
Risk risk, you always say risk.Do you love me or do you want to marry me?You and I are thirty years old, and you can’t even afford the down payment for buying a house. What else can you use to talk about loving me!
Walking like a lonely ghost in the bustling night, I recall from time to time the words my ex-girlfriend Lingling encouraged me to take risks.
Actually, I didn’t blame her very much. In the fanatical environment of the whole nation at that time, combined with the delusions that I, a poor second generation and who used to be the class beauty, could only blame people for their inequality and their cowardice exposed in the face of unrealistic fantasies.
In fact, neither Lingling nor I want to see the final outcome. It was one night when we returned to the pre-liberation. From the beginning of the year to the present, we were also blushing as we looked at the shrinking assets.
A week ago, I finally stopped the loss and recovered my last little savings, and on that historical day, I gave the goddess who had been regarded as a god by me for several years a strong mouth.
You are such a waste, you only have so much money left in your pocket, why do you still say you love me!?What should we do in the future? Are you planning to marry me?What about your promise to me?What about your bullshit ideals at the beginning!I'm so blind that I actually want to entrust you to the rest of my life!
Let’s break up, who do you like to find, my family and I can’t afford to go!
Bang.
To this day, I still think this may be a rare bold statement in my unsuccessful life.
But I also know that behind this free and easy life is the helplessness of having to release the other party.
After all, with Lingling's beauty, even though she is over thirty years old, she still has no shortage of suitors. It would be better for me to let go of it than letting me, a poor boy who can't see the future continue to torture each other.
It was late winter. Looking at the skyscrapers with bright lights and wine, looking at the pedestrians on the road going their separate ways in the cold wind, and looking at the record that had been preserved, which recorded the arrival of 98,250 yuan, I realized that this was the only wealth left now.
That day, I moved out of the house where Lingling and I rented. In order to escape the dilemma at home, I temporarily moved to a small hotel worth about 100 yuan.
Lying on the damp bed in the hotel, smoking the 8 yuan Hongtashan that can only be used to smoke, there is a bucket of Master Kong instant noodles on hand. Thinking about the person who is already thirty years old, now he has to start over.
I wanted to open Baidu Tieba to pretend to be a rich and handsome man to tease me, but I really didn't have the energy to make these self-deceptions.
At this moment, the phone suddenly remembered that the name on the caller ID was not Lingling, who had not been in contact with me for several days, but her mother who was far away from home.
Ma Le, is your work going smoothly recently?
fine……
How are you getting along with Lingling?
fine……
I have something to ask you.
kindness……
Do you have 3,000 yuan? I will lend it to me and I will pay it back to you next month.
mom!Have you lost all again?It was only a few months since I borrowed it last time, why did you borrow it again?
Mom is not playing cards. Recently, she has a look at a financial management company and is still missing a few thousand yuan...
Do you treat me as a three-year-old?Every time I look for various reasons, but in the end I just go to play cards!Have you forgotten why my dad was separated from you!After so many years...
OK OK OK, just forget it if you can't borrow it, don't mention that bastard to me, if it weren't for that vixen... Woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo w
OK OK OK I'll transfer it to you on WeChat!Save some money for yourself!
Don’t imitate your dad to be heartless. You are a big city and you are a good person, and your mother is still suffering in the countryside.
OK, stop talking, do you want it?
OK, transfer it to me as soon as possible.
At the moment my mom was about to hang up, I even heard another aunt calling her name for the game that was about to start.
In fact, I have made up various reasons to borrow money from me once or twice. Five years ago, it was her bet-making nature that finally left my father angry. I can't forgive her easily until now.
But sometimes thinking about her current situation, she is laid off female worker and earns some living expenses by opening a convenience store every month. Her son works in a big city, but her success is obviously far away. The loneliness of no one around her has created great pressure. I feel pity for her and even hate myself.
To put it bluntly, if I could make enough money, these problems would naturally be wiped out, but now I lost my savings and lost my girlfriend. Even this unreliable mother, I don’t know how to face her in the future.
After transferring the money to my mother that night, I lay silently on the bed and thought for a long time.
Every bit of everything from childhood to adulthood has been imprinted in my heart. Lingling's initial expectations and final disappointment for me, her mother's constant expectation for me and her constant indulgence in herself, and her father's increasingly blurred figure and rare smile kept flashing like a revolving lantern.
I knew I was not qualified to be sad with time, and my eyes that had not yet cried for a long time still shed tears that no one would cherish.
The next morning, I was afraid of being deducted money, so I was never late. It was rare that I didn’t get to work until nine in the morning.
Fortunately, from leaders to colleagues, I know my daily diligence, so no one is unspeakable about my lateness.
As the saying goes, being busy is the best medicine to relieve worries. This day I worked harder than usual, for fear that I would think randomly when I was idle.
For the whole day, Lingling still never contacted me.
I admitted that I couldn't help but want to contact her, but I couldn't help but feel embarrassed, so I had to use my hard work to dilute my inner demons.
I have never been as afraid of getting off work as I am now, because I will be at a loss, and I am even more afraid that the silence of a person will make me unable to help but miss Lingling again.
Maybe I am indeed a cowardly man who is unwilling to make me feel ruthless because of loneliness and troubles about the future that I can't stand the long night. Fortunately, I still have a little bit of rationality and understand that I am now like a piece of shit, and anyone who gets involved will cause trouble for them.
On the night of early winter, I, who never dared to be arrogant and lewd, noticed a small bar emitting dim light on the side of the road after wandering around in the lonely ghosts.
I was really bored at that time and walked into the bar for the first time in my life.
The bar is not far from the small hotel where I temporarily stayed. The dim word "Sister Bar" is written on the dilapidated facade.
Maybe I can go to bed immediately after I drink two drinks... With a slight nervousness and a hint of expectation, I pushed open the door of the bar and opened another period of my life.
The bar is very small, but fortunately the cleaning is quite clean.
But whether from the simple small stage or only eight tables, the bar seems to have the word "cheap" written on the table, which looks like a poor boy like me who wants to drink but is afraid of spending money.
When I walked in, there were roughly two or three groups of guests on the eight narrow tables, and the bar itself seemed to be just a waitress and a male bartender sitting in the small bar in the corner.
What do you need, sir?After I sat down, the waitress who seemed quite cute came over immediately.
First... let's take three bottles of Carlsberg.After looking through the drink list, I knew very well that I could afford beer.In my limited understanding, I have watched Carlsberg advertisements on TV.
Sir, please wait.
The waitress smiled politely to me and turned away. But to be honest, her service attitude was unexpectedly good. If Lingling had been polite to me, we might not have reached this point today.
After a while, three bottles of beer were sent by the waiter, but I took the opportunity to point to the small stage in the innermost part of the bar.
Will there be a resident singer here?
We usually don’t invite resident singers to sing, but the female boss in the store sometimes goes up to sing two songs to cheer up when there are too many people.
How many bosses are there in the store?
There are two female bosses in total. The one who often comes on stage is our little boss named Coco.
Oh, then... won't there be any more today?I mean a resident singer.
Sorry, she didn't come today.If you want to listen to the song, come again at 8 o'clock tomorrow, and Coco will come tomorrow.
OK...Thank you...
I originally wanted to drink to relieve my sorrows, but when I saw that there was no singer singing, I had to drink silently while playing with my phone.
Fortunately, I was really unable to drink, and I was already a little fluttering after drinking two bottles of Carlsberg.
In the hazy state, I found that the only waitress here is slim and cute. Occasionally, I looked up and peeked at her, but it added some fun to the depressed night.
About an hour later, I drank three bottles of wine.
Piaopiao, which is rare once a year, actually feels very good.
But just as I wanted to check out and leave and went back to the small hotel to have a good sleep, Lingling suddenly sent a WeChat message.
I have moved my own things and you can come back tomorrow.The rent is still one month away, and I have asked the agent to refund the deposit to me.You can decide whether to renew the lease or change the place.
When I saw the WeChat message sent by Lingling, I couldn't help but call her, but what I heard was the echo of the user being turned off.
I wanted to send a WeChat message immediately, but I didn't type in my phone.
If you think about it carefully, what can I say?
All the points are divided. Even if I am poor, will it be so difficult to blame her for taking away the trivial matters of several thousand deposits?
Since it is impossible to ask the other party to get back together, there is no need to argue about these small profits and add to both sides' worries.
Three more bottles of Carlsberg!With a bitter smile, I simply chose to continue drinking. Alcohol was the only thing that could make me happy at this time.
In the hazy, I recalled every bit of my time with Lingling, from unrequited love in college to a miraculous confession when I was about to graduate.
From the common expectation for the future when I first entered society, to the gradual indifference under the oppression of reality, from the nervousness and persistence when I first invested in the stock market, to the negative attitude when I almost lost all, I hate Lingling's reality, but I hate my own uselessness.
Memories have been transferred from the little things I have with Lingling to my parents.
The flashbacks in my mind unfolded, including the mother's good bets in recent years, the father suddenly left without saying goodbye one day five years ago, the fierce quarrels they had at home a few years ago, and the two of them showed caring smiles at the young me when they were young.
Sir, sir, we are closed.
When I heard the waitress greeting, I suddenly realized that I had fallen asleep at some point.
I looked up at the clock at the bar door and found that it was already one o'clock in the morning, which immediately made me wake up a lot.
The waitress's bright big eyes were staring at me with confusion, but fortunately she didn't seem to care that I had been sleeping here for so long.
Yes... I'm sorry... I didn't realize I was asleep.I hurriedly packed my clothes and took out two hundred yuan and put them on the table.
Sir, are you okay?I was crying in my sleep just now.While finding the change to me, the waitress asked thoughtfully.
Sorry, I laughed at you, I'm fine.
Unexpectedly, I was so embarrassed that I was getting more and more embarrassed. I quickly put on my coat, walked out of the bar, and at one o'clock in the morning, I walked through several quiet streets and returned to my residence while touching the black.
After get off work the next day, I returned to the home where I lived with Lingling. Although I was only nine days away from home, I felt like I was a different life.
After opening the door, I saw the obvious emptiness brought by Lingling's removal of her belongings. The popularity of the past dissipated with people's hearts. Lingling and I had a good memory and the reality of the current separation of labor. I suddenly understood what it means to see things and think of people, and what it means to be sad and hard to bear.
I sat silently on the bed at home, lit the cigarette silently, flirted with WeChat Moments casually, and looked at those friends who were much luckier than me, and everyone seemed to be showing off their happiness.
It was not until this time that I noticed that Lingling had posted a post on Moments just two days ago.
A photo with a handsome guy, accompanied by a sentence: Holding your hand and growing old together, hitting my chest hard like a heavy hammer.
A handsome man is handsome, haha... It's not bad, at least she has found a home...haha...
That night, I finally didn't have to stay in a small hotel to avoid Lingling, but suddenly I found that I had been struggling for my ideals for several years, and I didn't even have a good friend who could find a drink together at night.
Over the past few years, my life at the two points and one line may have made me aging before I grow old and become a real lser, wandering outside the core of this world.
Sorry, the female boss didn't come today.If you want to listen to the song, come back tomorrow at 8 o'clock, and Coco will come tomorrow.
I looked up at my watch, but it was just seven o'clock in the evening. When I thought about spending a long time alone tonight, and tomorrow is Saturday, I suddenly remembered what the bar waiter said last night.
After thinking about the money in my pocket, I thought that it would take only half an hour to get from here to the bar, so I decided to go to the affordable small bar tonight.
No matter how simple the equipment in the bar is, if you can hear her singing, it is at least much better than me alone.
Anyway, I am already alone, so why bother with those two wine money?
More than half an hour later, when I pushed open the bar curtain again, the first thing I saw was a small blackboard after entering the door, which read "Sexy singer Keke" on stage to 8 o'clock tonight.
Perhaps because someone sang tonight, seven of the eight tables of Taichung had already seated guests, and the simple little bar also had a little more popularity than last night.
Sir, you are here again.
As soon as I entered the door, the waitress who was cute and probably not old smiled at me.
It seems that I slept in a bar yesterday and was crying in my sleep, which made the other party remember me quickly.
Sorry, I'm here to disturb you again tonight.Let me have three bottles of Carlsberg first.
In the past few years, except Lingling, I haven't enjoyed the smile of a young girl at me for a long time, which makes me feel a little embarrassed.
It doesn’t matter, sir, you are polite. My name is Xiaojing. If you need it, you can call me anytime.
After leading me to the last empty seat, the waitress named Xiaojing smiled and went to greet other guests.
I shook my head with a wry smile, thinking that this waitress named Xiaojing is really cute.
Not long after sitting down, a tall beauty in black with long and straight black hair walked onto the small stage.
She held the guitar in her hand, and seemed to not care about the guests in the audience, and started singing on her own.
Her voice was a little hoarse, and she looked like Tian Zhen. However, she looked only in her twenties. If she was the boss here, she would have been young and had a lot of things to do.
You said... you have nothing, how can you live with me together?I said... I was covered in bruises, so how could I stay with you for the rest of my life?You said...you are in the world and you may be full of dangers.I said... I saw through the world, life is like a walking corpse... AhAh... How can we not be together like this? In such a way, we can at least walk hand in hand to the tomb of the joint burial.
The simple tone of the guitar is paired with very sad lyrics, and the hoarse voice of the female singer named Coco immediately made the bar filled with a sense of compassion.
Some customers were still chatting and drinking on their own, while others were quickly attracted by the song.
As for myself, I quickly became the latter. The lyrics were filled with coldness, which once again hit my fragile heart.
‘Will you walk hand in hand toward the tomb of the joint burial? What kind of experience can you write such lyrics? Ah…’ I, who rarely listen to original songs, savored the taste in the lyrics with fuss.
Soon after the song was finished, the female singer didn't even look at the guests in the audience in the audience and began to sing the second song.
However, from the second song, it is no longer an original song, but a bitter song like "Love me Don't Leave", if this is not considered a love song, or a heart like a knife.
However, whether it is original songs or other famous songs, they always implement a style of depression and depression. The female singer is enough to cover half of her face and a black dress. Combined with the dim lights in the small bar, it continues to build a sad atmosphere in the bar.
The female singer sang a total of eight songs and then stood up from her seat.Amidst the scattered applause, she tried to leave, but found that one of the male guests had already stood beside her.
The male guest gestured a gesture that he couldn't see clearly. The female singer nodded silently, and the two of them got into the curtain next to the small stage together.
At the same time, I just finished drinking three bottles of Carlsberg and called Xiaojing to my side.
Will Miss Coco stop singing later?I, who had been immersed in the singing just now, wanted to order two more bottles of wine and ask Xiaojing questions.
Sister Keke only sings seven or eight songs every day. She is the little boss here and there is no reward for singing, so she is unwilling to sing too tiring.
After putting two bottles of beer on the table, Xiaojing responded politely.
OK, thank you.Your female boss sang well.I was quite disappointed with Coco's departure, but I still squeezed out an understanding smile on my face.
Sister Coco will be on stage about two or three times a week. I hope you will come and sit there often in the future.
I guess I have been accustomed to customers who like to listen to Coco's hoarse voices for a long time. Xiaojing smiled politely to me.
Then he turned around and left as other guests greeted him.
It was already ten o'clock in the evening, and I was afraid that I would fall asleep again, so I decided to drink the last two bottles and leave.
As Coco left, there were fewer and fewer customers in the bar, and soon only a middle-aged man at another table was left with me and a middle-aged man drinking the last bit of wine.
Just as I was about to finish my last glass of wine, the male guest who had just walked into the curtain with Keke finally came out, and Xiaojing immediately got into the curtain.
About five minutes later, Xiaojing came out of the door curtain again, walked to the only middle-aged man who was left in the bar except me, and whispered to him.
The middle-aged man seemed to have a happy face and immediately stood up and walked into the curtain next to the stage.
Although I was surprised by the two men's entry and exit at that time, because I was not very familiar with the world, only foreign guests could go in and chat with Coco at the first time.
Out of fear of loneliness and a bit of pity for the sadness in the cocoa song, I called Xiaojing who started to clean up the table, first gave her the money for the wine, and then asked: Please ask, what do these guests who walked into the curtains do?
These two are regular customers here.
When I suddenly asked, Xiaojing unexpectedly put away her professional smile, and a little panic appeared on her face. Her answer did not directly solve my question.
If you have regular customers, can you go to the backstage?Then if I come here too many times, I can go in?I still couldn't figure out the situation and continued to ask questions about the second issue.
This...is not easy to say.But if you want to go in, you have to pay more... and you are not sure if you are suitable for going in...
While Xiao Jing continued to answer in a squeamish manner, although it was not certain at the time, the simple little bar, the singer in the dark night, gathered with regular customers in the backstage, and the regular customers came in and paid for them after entering the curtain. Combining these points, even if I didn't understand, I vaguely guessed the answer.
It's strange that I was neither interested in this at that time nor did I think this small bar was simply filthy.
When Xiaojing said that I was not suitable for entering, I suddenly felt anger, anger that was looked down upon.
Is it because I drink while crying, and only drink Carlsberg every time, which makes people seem to be unable to afford this little money?
The negative emotions that had been negative for several days suddenly broke out under the influence of alcohol. I stood up from my seat suddenly and stared at Xiaojing in front of me with dissatisfaction.
My loud shouting not only brought Xiaojing's terror, but also attracted two other people.
One of them was a young bartender who had been helping guests bartending in the corner, and the other was a plump young woman who walked out of the small curtain beside the stage when she heard the sound.
Sir, you don't understand what we are doing.The back of the curtain may not be suitable for you, but it has nothing to do with how much money you have.
The young woman seemed to be in her early thirties, and her tone of speaking showed majesty in her calm tone.
Judging from her coming and blocking Xiaojing and me, the young woman's status here seems to be higher than that of Xiaojing.
Why not suitable for me?Because I'm poor?Because I shed tears?I only know that Miss Coco sings very well, whether it is bruised or walking dead, I think the lyrics mean that everyone should continue to live strongly.
Seeing that the young woman with a very gentle appearance bravely stood in front of Xiaojing, I felt that I had become the evil man here.
Although I was still making a point of being unreasonable on my lips, I felt a little regretful in my heart that my bad attitude just now.
There are some things that cannot be said explicitly. I just hope that sir, you don’t easily get into our muddy waters without knowing it...
At this moment, not only was the young woman standing beside Xiaojing and me, but even the door curtains, the bartender who looked quite young and handsome also stood beside the young woman and glared at me.
As the only male employee of this bar, I believe that if I escalate the situation again, he might have to take action against me.
The stalemate lasted for less than ten seconds, but something unexpected happened suddenly.
As a swearing sounded, the middle-aged man who had just entered the door curtain actually walked out angrily while carrying his pants.
What a shameful thing? Isn’t it just a shemale? How many people have fucked her asshole? I’m still pretending to be pure here with me!
The middle-aged man's screams and scolding suddenly shocked everyone present.The young woman's face immediately changed, and she didn't care about me who looked even less threatening, so she took the bartender to meet her.
Mr. Zhang, hasn’t my Coco always been your favorite?Why are you so unhappy today?
The young woman signaled the bartender to go in the back of the curtain to look at Coco, while she tried to stabilize the middle-aged man with a professional smile.
Humph, I have looked for her three times, but today I actually told me that I was tired.I obviously spent money, why don’t a shemale let me fuck my asshole!
Yes, yes, you are right. Coco is sometimes too personal, and I apologize to you for her.
Listening to the middle-aged man cursing with a shemale on the left and the asshole on the right, the young woman's face seemed to flash a hint of anger, but she still smiled and gave up the way for the middle-aged man to leave.
Joey is still caring. I will fuck your pussy next time I come again, hahaha.
Faced with the young woman's professional comfort, the middle-aged man who seemed to have been scratched a few times on his face was in a better mood and then walked towards the bar door.
But at this moment, the young bartender who had just gone to check the situation of Coco suddenly rushed out of the curtain and shouted angrily: Sister Qiao, don’t let him go, he obviously did everything, but he just didn’t give him any money!
Hearing the bartender's angry shout, Joey and Xiaojing's faces suddenly changed, and the middle-aged man immediately put away his arrogant attitude and walked quickly towards the bar door while everyone was behind him.
It’s obviously a group of shemale men, but to put it bluntly, it doesn’t even count on people. What’s wrong with playing? You guys think of you.If you make me angry, go to the police!
The middle-aged man was about to walk to the door, but he suddenly found that another man was blocking his presence.
Although this man is not able to figure out the situation, he has nowhere to vent his resentment over the past few days, and he is even more disgusted with this middle-aged man who is full of fat and arrogant to others.
This man is me.
I only know that no matter how high or low a person, I should not be bullied by a bastard like you, your uncle!
Before the middle-aged man could react, I slapped him in the face and stumbled him.
You, a slutty, dare to hit me... While the middle-aged man covered his face, the expression on his face had changed from arrogance just now to a full of fear.
You're the one who beats you!Why do you look down on the working people?People also make a living by working, do you think you have two bad money?
Before the middle-aged man could stand still, I had a big mouth and swung it to the other side of his face.
OK, good guy... stop beating... stop beating... The middle-aged man was completely timid now. Facing the fierce face, I immediately knelt on the ground, completely gone astray as before.
snort!Just remember it!
I finally got the anger in my chest, and looked up at Joey, Xiaojing and the bartender with surprise on my face while wearing my coat freely.
I have been suppressed by reality for many years and almost forgot what a bloody man is. Now this belated explosion makes my heart full of heroism.
My name is Male. Please remember my name next time.Seeing that the situation had subsided, I used the alcohol to show off my might to everyone behind me.
But what I didn't expect was that just as I turned around and tried to leave casually, the middle-aged man who had already admitted his guilt suddenly picked up a bottle of wine at hand and hit me on the top of my head while I was unprepared.
After a thud, the wine bottle shattered, and the middle-aged man took the opportunity to push me away and fled. But I felt a burst of blood start to flow out from the top of my head. After drinking, my body, which was not very firm, suddenly shook left and right.
Hahaha, it seems that even being strong is so difficult... I really... quite failed... Before I fainted, I vaguely remembered everything about me laughing at myself.
In the hazy state, Xiaojing and the young woman Joey seemed to run towards me.
This sleep is not dreaming, and the dual effects of alcohol and injury bring about a rare deep sleep.
It was not until dawn that I opened my eyes and found myself lying in a strange room.
The room is very small, with only the next bed and a dressing table. It is not difficult to find that it should be a bedroom here. Judging from the warm sheets and various cosmetics placed on the dressing table, this is another women's bedroom.
You are awake~ Just as I was looking at myself with bandages in the mirror, the bedroom door was pushed open, and the person coming in was Xiaojing, a waiter from my sister bar.
From the look she looked at me, she could clearly express her concern.
It seems that I fainted here last night... I'm sorry... I realized that I should be taken care of by the people in this bar for a night, and then thinking about my drunkenness last night, I apologized to Xiaojing apologized.
It doesn’t matter. After you get this, Mr. Zhang probably won’t dare to call the police and smash our place again.So we should thank you for protecting us in at least another way.
Until now, I really faced and observed the cute girl who was not young in front of me.
At this time, Xiaojing was wearing a pink loose sweater, her long shawl of moderate length was scattered on her shoulders, her round cheeks were inlaid with bright eyes, and her small nose and mouth highlighted her cuteness.
Xiaojing is not short and fat and thin. Her thighs and buttocks wrapped in jeans outline a healthy curve, giving people a youthful feeling outside of working hours.
You are such a weirdo. You slept here twice in a row, one more time than the other, and now... you just slept in my bed.
Although I only met for two days, after experiencing last night's storm, Xiaojing seemed not disgusted with me. She sat on the round stool beside the bed, staring at me with a smile on her face.
I...I'm still very embarrassed, after all, I've caused you trouble and I'm still sleeping with you.
I have not had such a close contact with such a cute girl except Lingling for many years, which makes me feel embarrassed immediately.
I must admit that even though Xiaojing is not as beautiful as a big star, her appearance is very cute, and her sweet temperament and youthful atmosphere are infecting me at any time.
It’s ours that we should say sorry... You were kicked out last night, so it’s logical that we should take you to the hospital.However, we have never been willing to show up in public. Sister Qiao finally discussed with me and had to treat you here first.
Xiaojing said as she looked at the bandage on my head. Seeing that there was no more bleeding, her face showed a look of relief.
When I heard Xiaojing's apology, I fell into silence.Because her words obviously mean that the women in the bar are likely to sell both alcohol and meat, so they are unwilling to show up for fear of being caught by the police.
Suddenly I was stunned for a moment because I suddenly remembered some of the words of the middle-aged man last night.
Even though I am not inconvenient to explore Xiaojing and others' professions too much, there is one thing I have to ask about.
Xiao... Xiaojing, please forgive me for taking the blame... that Miss Coco... is a human... that... is that... a transgender person?Trying to maintain a calm tone, I spoke carefully.
...Sir, do you... think we are scary because of this?
After I asked a question, Xiaojing was obviously a little stunned, pursed her thin lips and thought for a while, and then used a vague rhetorical question to confirm my guess.
No...I'm not the kind of person who is superficial... I saw that Xiaojing's expression was very contradictory, so I couldn't bear to ask more questions.
But although the words are beautiful, I must admit that my heart is beginning to fight against heaven and man.
But before I could finish my speech, the bedroom door was pushed open again, and this time the young woman Joey, who came in, was called Sister Qiao.
She first bent down and lowered her head, carefully checked the bandage that no longer oozed my head, then straightened her back and said to me: Let me answer you on behalf of Xiaojing.This bar is called Sister Bar, which refers to me, Coco and Xiaojing. We have no blood relationship but are like sisters. Of course there are no shemale here. That word is simply an insult to them.Coco and Xiaojing are transgender people, Coco is ts, and Xiaojing is still in the CD stage.As for what are ts and cd, you can check your phone.
During the day, Joey had a little more strength like a big sister, and lesser the flattery when socializing guests.
Judging from her tone, the courage to stand up last night, and her age should be the same as me, Joey should be the boss of this bar and the backbone of Coco, Xiaojing and others.
But she actually told me bluntly, and she had eliminated some of her vigilance from me because of my righteous help last night.
It’s strange that I have never had a hobby for prostitution, or I dare not even dare to ask Hua and Liu for any inappropriate thoughts. However, when I was browsing Zhihu a few months ago, I accidentally saw what Ts and CDs mean.
In short, Ts is a transgender person who starts to use surgery on his face, including plastic surgery, plastic surgery, breast augmentation and buttocks.
CD refers to a sissy who is naturally beautiful and uses makeup to dress up as a woman.
I...I know what ts is and what CD is... Although I heard it from the middle-aged man last night, I was still shocked to my chin almost fall off when I heard Joey admit it on the spot.
Because in my impression, shemale should either dance with heavy makeup on the stage like on TV, or be as ugly as those perverted uncles.
And according to the general idea, shouldn't shemale be in Thailand? I didn't expect that my in life would actually meet several of them.
What I can't believe even more is that Xiao Jing, who is mature and dignified, cute and smart, is as youthful as a girl, and Coco, who is graceful in black last night, is actually originally a man.
And when I turned to Xiaojing with a questioning look, I noticed a hint of embarrassment on her face. It seemed that being recognized by strangers still meant trouble for them.
Sir, don't blame me for being straightforward.Although I also thank you for your kind help last night, our group is too dark, and it is best not to be too close to us for irrelevant people.I tell you this, and I hope you will get out of here.I still have some money here, so it should be enough for you to take it to see a doctor.If you want to drink in the future, you can come here to drink, but we should still keep a distance.
Joey said, and took out the 20 hundred-dollar bills that were estimated to be found.
No... No... No, no matter how I think of you, I wouldn't have done that last night for this little money.Since breaking up with Lingling, I especially disliked being given charity, and immediately rejected Joey's kindness.
Sister Qiao... When I waved and declined the RMB handed over by Joey, I vaguely heard Xiaojing calling Joey in a complaining tone.
Perhaps in comparison, Xiaojing is still a child who is not well-informed, and Joey, as the boss here, has long matured because he has seen the strong winds and waves.
I feel like I'm almost done, otherwise I won't bother me... No matter what, my reason tells me that Joey is right.
We have never lived for life. The other party is both prostituting and has a few shocking transgender people. It is better for me, a poor and stupid boy, not to trek into this muddy water.
But what surprised me again was that when I wanted to get up, Joey suddenly showed a soft expression and gently pressed my shoulders to prevent me from standing up easily from the bed.
I looked up at Joey's seductive eyes in confusion, and then heard her explanation.
I hope you don’t mind sir. We dare not get too involved with you just because of a kind of protection for you and ourselves.But we are not cold-blooded animals. It is already eleven o'clock now. Please give me lunch before leaving.
Yes, we usually open until five o'clock in the afternoon, and there is nothing to do during the day, so let's have a meal together.Xiaojing seemed overjoyed to hear Joey suddenly try to keep me for dinner.
In fact, it’s not just me who wants to invite you. The person who really wants to invite you to dinner is Coco. You should know that you were like helping her ventilate last night.She served Mr. Zhang with all her heart last night, but the other party found fault and was useless.
Seeing my expression begin to soften, Joey immediately showed his ability to see people's hearts and continued to keep me in a gentle tone like his sister.
Faced with the invitation from Joey and Xiaojing, I suddenly realized that I hadn't had a good meal for several days. I went back to before I broke up with Lingling. The last month was basically spent in the cold war and quarrels. No one cooked and ate naturally, it was very casual, which made me not able to sit down and have a meal with someone close to me for a long time.
Then I'll bother you.
The desire to get rid of loneliness quickly defeated the traditional Chinese courtesy.
Even if the other party is a group of heretics who are often considered dead shemale and perverted, I don’t want to treat them with tinted glasses.
You should know that I am just a cloud of mud, so why should I look down on others?
Then I'll help, hehe.After hearing what I said, I could stay for dinner, Xiaojing immediately became happy and jumped out of the bedroom.
In addition to being a polite waiter, this child also lacks real friends. Alas... Our identity is destined to die in our country, and Xiaojing has suffered.
As I put on my clothes and walked out of bed, Joey murmured to me, and it could be seen that Xiaojing was as loving as her sister to her.
Only after walking out of the bedroom can you see the full picture here.
This place is equivalent to a larger shop and house. There is a simple bar outside the door curtain, and there is an aisle and three small bedrooms inside the door curtain.
The bathroom and kitchen are located in the bar outside the curtain. As for everyone to have a meal together, they can only sit at the only large table outside the bar.
I finished washing and walked to the dining table. The hot pot was cooked on the induction cooker on the table, and various seasonings were placed in the hot pot.
Several plates of frozen beef and mutton, as well as vegetables, potatoes, broad flour and sesame cakes bought from the vegetable market were also placed on the table.
Around the table, in addition to Xiao Jing, who was wearing a loose sweater and Joey, who was wearing a dark red thick cotton coat, there were also bartenders and cocoa.
My name is Xiao Yunshan, you can call me Shanzi.
When I saw me approaching, I looked like I was in my early twenties. The bartender, who looked much more handsome than me, immediately stretched out his right hand friendly. It seemed that as the only male here, he treated the same-sex people quite friendly.
My name is Male, and my indecent nickname is Male Gobi, haha.
After I laughed at myself for the nickname I used to be in school, Xiaojing immediately burst out laughing, and Joey and Shanzi couldn't help but smile, but Keke was still expressionless, as if thinking.
Thank you yesterday. There was no smile or handshake. If Joey hadn't said that the invitation to this meal came from Coco, I would have thought her attitude was like seeing off guests.
It's nothing, don't mind, I just don't like to see others bullying others with power.
Thinking about Coco's cold temperament when he performed last night, I immediately felt relieved.
This cocoa only wears cool-toned clothing during the day, and her hair is so disheveled that it is even a bit unkempt. It is very similar to those non-mainstream people. These people may generally have a distorted personality.
I have invited this today. No matter whether I have the fate in the future, I hope to be a person who can repay kindness.
Keke, who was still vigilant, said at least a few words of thanks, and then sat down without caring about my reaction.
‘Maybe those who play art are a little nervous.’At that time, I used this reasonable reason to comfort myself.Since I came, I felt at ease, so I immediately chose to sit down and have a meal.
After sitting in the free seat for me, everyone started to smoky the meat.
When we first started eating, Shanzi praised me for his bravery yesterday. I took the opportunity to observe the four people present.
Among the four, Joey, as the big boss, has a higher status than Xiaojing, but also than Coco and Shanzi.
She was like a noble lady, with her hair tied behind her head, her eyes were straightened, her skin was very white, and the tears moles under the corners of her eyes were particularly conspicuous. She was mixed with the gentleness of the young woman and the boss's unhurried and powerful self-righteousness in her conversation. She was the leader here.
Shanzi is a young and cheerful young man with a tall figure and a joke. As the only male, he can easily act as a blender for several people.
However, it is interesting that Yamako and Joey seem to have a particularly close relationship, and their eyes look at each other are somewhat ambiguous. I wonder if the two have further relationships between men and women in addition to their working relationships.
As the little boss and singer here, Coco is simply a fairy who is not in the world, or a witch, is more appropriate.
Her eyes were also very big and bright, but there was always a look of toughness between her eyebrows.
Her lips are actually thick and sexy, and her skin is as white as Westerners.
She rarely spoke during meals, as if she was worried, but her eyes were quite empty.
As for Xiaojing, she is a typical junior among the four. Joey, Shanzi and Keke became Sister Qiao, Brother Shanzi and Keke in her mouth.
Xiaojing's skin is wheat-colored but has a good skin texture, which can reflect the traces of youth.
She also talked the most during the meal, and she took the lead in mentioning most of the topics related to me today.
Mr. Ma, why are you drinking alone?
Because no one can drink with me...
Then why are you crying when you fall asleep?
Because I just broke up... and I have been rebelling against poverty overnight.
Oh... Sorry, I might have asked what I shouldn't have asked.
It’s nothing, breaking and reuniting is not my own patent, so there is nothing that cannot be mentioned.
So... I really want to know why I can't continue to get along with your ex-girlfriend?
Because... letting go is also a kind of fulfillment...
After I accidentally said some kind of slogan of great love, everyone present looked curious, and even Coco, who always lowered his head to eat, suddenly asked: Tell me about your experience. The people here have nothing to do with your real life, so you can say it boldly.
Coco is right. Although I don’t like being sympathized with, it is indeed not a solution to always hide sadness in my heart.
Moreover, in reality, I dare not talk to acquaintances, but I can just say it here.
So I first briefly introduced my divorced parents and poor background, and then began to talk about the conflicts between me and Lingling in recent years, as well as the painful lessons learned after investing in the stock market.
Finally, when I said that Lingling should have found a partner now and I deeply blessed her, I noticed that the expressions on Xiaojing and Keke seemed to have a fleeting strange look.
In fact, what Mr. Ma is most bored is his unwillingness to life.After listening to me, the mature Joey said her judgment to the point.
Sister Qiao is right. I have worked hard over the years but have achieved such a result. It is indeed difficult for me to accept.For example, in bars like ours, I rarely visit them in order to save money.I have never dared to take a vacation or go out for a trip for several years because I really want to save up the down payment to buy a house. Alas... The simple communication once again aroused my inner self-blame, and I couldn't help but sigh.
Actually, I understand Mr. Ma’s feelings very much.It’s like we are not voluntarily becoming what we are now.We can know how to be grateful, know how to manage and even have talent, but the deviation of orientation or the pressure of reality makes us have to go to the dark life under the night.
Although I can't understand the lives of these prostitutes or transgender people from the details, I can guess that their lives must be more difficult than ordinary people, so I can also sympathize with Joey's sigh at this moment.
But if you ask me, Mr. Ma, you don’t have to be discouraged. After all, you still have a job and are still in your battle.Seeing that the atmosphere at the scene was a little sad, Shanzi hurriedly spoke to smooth things over.
You are right, it's just starting over, hahaha.Everyone has their own worries, but unfortunately I am not rich, otherwise I can order more expensive wine to support the business every time I come.
Mr. Ma joked, we will not forget your righteousness yesterday.I will come to our shop to have a drink in the future and I will give you a 20% discount.
In Joey's cheerful voice, we gathered together, and the wine was pleasant, and the atmosphere of lunch was getting better.
In the following time, most of the topics still revolved around me, and I was afraid that I would say the wrong thing, because some sensitive issues hurt this group of mysterious transgender people, so I just greeted Joey and others with a flash of hard work, so I stopped asking about their lives too much.
Even so, I still learned from their conversation that the bar is operating poorly, but everyone needs a place to live.
Joey didn't shy away from their involvement in prostitution, but in her opinion, the reason she did this was just to make more money.
This meal had a profound impact on me, that is, I found that these women or transgender people who were obviously still engaged in prostitution also had the same views and worries as ordinary people.
I don't think that as an ordinary person, there are any obstacles to communicating with them. On the contrary, I think these people are more hospitality, and even more good people with true temperament than ordinary people.
Even though I learned about the third sexual identity of Coco and Xiaojing, although I did not regard them as women in my heart for the time being, looking at Xiaojing and Coco, who are of different styles but are cute or charming, it is certainly even more impossible to associate them as men.
The first time in my life, I felt the unique feeling that I had when I had sex with my third sexual intercourse. The three more delicate people are more free and easy than women. They are more approachable than ordinary girls.
The green mountains remain unchanged and the green water flows forever. Thank you very much for your hospitality. We will have a date later.
Before leaving, I waved to Joey and others again. After a simple but unlucky lunch, these people looked like real friends in my heart.
Mr. Ma walked slowly and came to drink often when he had time.When I was sending me out, I could see that the smile on Joey's face not only included professionalism, but also a hint of mutual appreciation that both fell into the world.
Thank you for maintaining me with your behavior last night.Even Coco, who hadn't spoken a few times in total, stood up and thanked me. It seemed that she, who looked cold, might also have a delicate heart.
Remember to come often. This is my WeChat account. If you want to come in the future, you can contact me before you can come. I can notify you in advance when Sister Coco will appear.
Seeing that I had started wearing my coat, Xiaojing hurriedly took out her cell phone and opened the QR code on WeChat.
What is interesting is that Xiaojing seems to want to talk to me more than Joey and Coco. Perhaps it is precisely because of what Joey said that Xiaojing is indeed lonely.
Thank you for looking down on me. It has been a long time since I had such a good meal as today.
After adding WeChat to Xiaojing, I ended up spending all night and half a day in my sister bar.
But at that time I didn't expect that from that day on, my destiny would be firmly tied to these three people, and it was difficult to separate.
At that time, I had just come into contact with the mellow and righteous side of these transgender people's personalities, but I didn't know that their temperament, personality and even life were as complicated as their gender.
It was not until a long time later that Xiaojing told me that after that day, Joey, Coco and Xiaojing had a good evaluation of me, not only because of my righteous help, but also because I always restrained my curiosity in this tentative lunch and did not ask any questions that I might not have asked.
While protecting their self-esteem, they do not regard themselves as normal people and do not look down on prostitution or transgender groups condescendingly.
Men like me may not be handsome or rich, but in their extraordinary values, they have become models of good men.
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