Chapter 143 Pili

Thinking of the end of Xiaoying's diary, there were too many things in that expression, including fear, regret, helplessness, and deep guilt... What happened?

I don’t know why, but seeing Xiaoying’s complex emotions, I felt scared.

Is there something that even such a strong Xiaoying can't bear?

Before I opened Xiaoying’s forum, I got stuck in a guess. Is it related to that night?

Could it be...anal sex?

Analges?

I don't know why, this black-bellied thought was highlighted in my mind

In the past, Xiaoying and I had a guess about anal sex, but Xiaoying thought it was not normal routine sex, and she could not accept such a sex method. From her expression at that time, I saw the determination, so I mentioned it a few times. After Xiaoying refused, I never mentioned anal sex with Xiaoying again.

Did Xiaoying make a new breakthrough with her father that night, with the help of sexual medicine?

Could it be that Xiaoying's virgin land was occupied and developed by her father?

Thinking of his father's egg-sized glans inserted into Xiaoying's pink and compact anal anus, I felt fear in my heart, as if I suddenly lost my favorite thing

Calm down, you must be calm down, things have not been cleared yet, it is too early to think about it

I have two ways to find the answer now. First, read Xiaoying's log. This is the fastest way. If Xiaoying's log is not clearly written, then there is still a surveillance video that has not been watched.

It is not difficult for me to find the answer, but the surveillance video has always been like Pandora's box. I have never dared to open it, for fear that after opening it, I will affect my attitude and feelings towards Xiaoying again.

After thinking about it, let's start with the fastest way

I logged into Xiaoying's forum and then opened her newly written log: Fear, this is the first time I have truly felt fear, the fear of losing my family and marriage, I have always been careful to deal with my husband and father-in-law. I selfishly enjoy the love my husband gave me and the sex my father-in-law gave me. I always thought I could greedily enjoy the food my two men gave me spiritual and physical food that my father-in-law gave me.

It’s just that I was wrong. I didn’t seem to have really considered the day when things were really exposed. What consequences should I bear. If one day, my father-in-law and I were exposed, how would my husband treat me and this family, he might choose to divorce, and this family would be broken; he might choose to forgive, but he would never tolerate it. Even if he forgives me in the end, I will not be pure in his heart. I may lose his love, and this family can be considered dead in name only.

Just two days ago, I didn't know what medicine I took wrong. I actually... I secretly went to my father-in-law's room to have sex with my father-in-law while she was drunk while she was drunk. I didn't know why I wanted it so much that night. I was so hungry and thirsty, which made me take huge risks to have an affair with my father-in-law, completely ignoring my husband who was still at home. In the previous journal, I planned to break off my ambiguous relationship with my father-in-law, but I broke this promise and vow. I hated myself. Am I really going to be controlled by lust? Is my body really inseparable from my father-in-law? Is it true that between sex and love, sex has surpassed love and dominated? I suddenly hated myself so much these days. Why am I so despicable? Am I still the same as before?

Seeing this, I also seemed helpless. If Xiaoying hadn’t taken sexual medicine by mistake that night, would there be a story and this diary from that night?

If you say it wrong, the biggest mistake should be with me. Can everything be considered as God's will?

Xiaoying has been dealing with sex and love. The culprit who really breaks the balance between the two is my husband, who is also the biggest victim now.

Xiaoying hates herself in the log. Should I hate myself for being mean at this time?

From the beginning, from the beginning, Xiaoying and her father really have sexual interest in each other, I have recalled this process countless times. The only thing I have obtained may be my recovered body, and my constantly alternative and deepening sexual concepts.

Although I recovered physically, it seems that my mental problems began to appear. Is this result not worth the effort for me?

If Xiaoying and her father completely cut off their relationship in the future, my psychology may recover, so will my physiological problems fall into the trough again?

Don't think about it anymore, keep reading, my focus is on finding the answer I want

During this period, my spirit has been greatly hit. There are many reasons. First of all, after my father-in-law and I were upset, I returned to my husband with a nervous mood. After having sex with my father-in-law, my lust was completely released, and my mind seemed to be awakened suddenly.

Back in the bedroom, looking at my husband who was still asleep, I couldn't help but feel very distressed. I was very sorry for my husband. He must have a beautiful dream at this time, but he didn't know that there was a nightmare in reality. His beloved wife gave him a cuckold with other men during his dream.

After the release of lust, I am awake and regretful. Thinking about my husband and I’ve been doing everything in the past, I imagined my husband running around and working hard for this family, and thinking about our vows. For the first time, I really questioned myself what I did, what did I do while my husband had sex with my father-in-law at home. This huge adventure made me truly feel scared and regretful for the first time.

After having sex with my father-in-law, I felt no happiness. After waking up, there was only endless sadness and self-blame that night, no aftertaste after orgasm, only endless pain and sadness, with my back to my husband, I don’t know how long I had cried in the bed...

The thing that worries me the most was still happening. The next morning, I slept too late the night before and didn't make breakfast for my husband. This was the first time and I didn't wake me up after getting up and went to work. If my father-in-law hadn't woken me up later, I didn't know when I would sleep.

I got up in a hurry to wash, wishing I could not even put on makeup and go to work, but I was still late, half an hour late. This was the first time in history that the department manager did not talk much about me. The company implemented a clock-in system and deducted half a day's salary.

The best friends in the company started to tease me and said that I was full of red face. I must have been fed too much by my husband last night, so I was late. How could they know that the one who really fed me last night was my father-in-law rather than my husband. Although the two names were different, it was a world of difference.

The company's best friend's teasing and the fact that he had been blaming himself last night made me feel bad. And why didn't my husband wake me up in the morning? In the past, my husband would wake me up early. He threw me alone at home, which made me feel like I was abandoned.

At that time, I didn't think much about it, so I called my husband to accountability. What I didn't expect was that... my husband actually scolded me on the phone for the first time and sweared in the first time. This was something we had never had before since we were in love. In the end, he hung up my phone.

I held my phone and felt that all this was unreal. It seemed that I had not completely awakened in my sleep last night. All this was not true. Is this still the husband who respected me?

I thought about the reason, and I thought of the terrible reason, that was that my husband might have known what happened last night. When I was with my father-in-law last night, although I tried my best to control my moans, when I reached orgasm, I still let go and let go and let out a few higher moans. Did my husband know? I have been confident that my husband was very drunk until now. Even if I beat gongs and drums, I would not wake up. But everything was unexpected. Who can guarantee that my husband would be anxious to pee in the middle of the night and would not wake up halfway?

I was controlled by sexual desire last night, but I didn't consider so many sudden factors. Thinking of this possibility and the consequences I might have to face, I was scared, I was panicked, I felt so helpless for the first time

I tried my best to call my husband's phone. I called him once and he didn't answer. I called him again. I was very determined at the time and must call him until he answered again, twice, three times... Every time I called him, my inner fear would deepen a little. Finally, my husband's phone turned off. When I heard that my husband's phone turned off, I called him for the second time to verify. Yes, shut down the phone.

Without thinking, I picked up my bag and ran out of the company desperately. I was wearing high heels regardless of the shouts from my colleagues and supervisors behind me. When I left the company's door, my shoes almost ran away and my feet sprained. But after I simply sorted it out, I still limped and insisted on finding my husband. I was afraid, I was afraid that I could not find him now, and I might never see him, I was afraid, I was afraid that I would lose him, I was afraid, I was afraid that I would not find him now, I might never see him, I was afraid, I was afraid that I would lose him

At this time, when Xiaoying walked into the office, she limped. I thought her legs were numb. It turned out that she had fallen before coming.

I didn't see the scene before Xiaoying came to my company to find me. Now I learned from the log that Xiaoying's mood and scene at that time. My heart was still a little relieved. At least Xiaoying still cared about me very much, and it was because her heart had been slightly healed.

Kneel down. After seeing my husband, I kneeled down for him for the first time. Although he may not have known about my father-in-law and my father-in-law, I really confessed to him for the first time and atoneed for him. My husband was very cold to me. I always wanted to know the reason. Did my husband know about my father-in-law and my father-in-law, but my husband didn't say a word. I wanted to confess to him countless times, but I was afraid that if my husband didn't know, but I told him on my own initiative.

I have been hesitating, not because of anything else, I hope that I will always be pure in his heart, I hope that my best side will always remain in his heart, although my body is no longer clean and can never be purified

On the way to find my husband, I thought about it. If my husband does not forgive me and asks me to leave him, I will respect his decision. At the same time, I will give him everything I have without reservation. In order to give him a suitable reason for divorce, I will choose to end my life with an accident, so as to keep this secret forever. For the future harmony between my husband and father-in-law, I am not a cowardly person, nor a suicide person, but I can't imagine how I can survive after I leave my husband and son. I don't have the motivation and hope to survive.

However, my husband seemed to have some reason why he was unwilling to say it. Although he was very cold, he never said anything about me and my father-in-law. Even if he was indirect, I finally had a last glimmer of hope at that time. As long as my husband didn't know about me and my father-in-law, I still have room for rescue. As long as I cut off my relationship with my father-in-law and keep this secret forever, I am willing to stay with my husband's side, even if my husband lets me suffer all the grievances.

However, just when I finally had hope and rekindled my hope for my future life, a bolt from the blue suddenly hit me again, and I almost fell down and couldn't get up. The menstrual period of this month has not come for about forty days.

Although women have occasional delays in menstruation, this is the first time for me to delay menstruation. And it has always been my reassurance during such a sensitive and special period. But I heard that contraceptive rings cannot be 100% contraceptive. Even if they have contraceptives, there are precedents for unexpected pregnancy. Didn’t menstruation come? Am I really pregnant? If I get pregnant, is the child’s father-in-law’s or husband? Not to mention going to the hospital for examination now, I don’t even have the courage to buy pregnancy test strips.

What should I do? I pray to God, never, never let me get pregnant...