Chapter 68 Rejecting Ambiguity 2

For my father-in-law, the greater the hope, the greater the disappointment. When my father-in-law thought with hope that it was only a matter of time before he got me, I suddenly asked him to catch him off guard and was completely shocked.

For me, I have also been repeatedly weighed and decided after many psychological struggles.

I used to think that when my father-in-law came, I would take a shower and masturbate to show him, and I also thought that he would reach his hands into my bra and touch my breasts and vagina.

I have fantasized about how to let him see us having sex

I even wonder if he would accept that he ejaculated in my mouth and didn't interject his penis in the future

But as our behavior escalates rapidly, my psychology feels less and less controlled. I am worried that this will continue, and I am afraid that one day I will agree to him actually have sex with me.

If you don't know, unless you don't do it yourself, it will not only harm me, but also harm him, including my husband, parents, family, and even relatives and friends.

Love can be yourself, marriage, but not like this. It is to show the truest self-marriage, but it requires too much self-change.

There is a saying that life without reflection is not worth living

But I tried my best to figure out some things, but suddenly I found that it was still of no help in solving them.

I proposed ambiguous relationships that I had been breaking for more than two years. It's simple, but it's not easy to do it.

The twists and turns afterwards still made me unpredictable

After I asked to break up, my father-in-law was lucky enough to think what I said was not true. After the Lantern Festival, he came to my house again. He still wanted to dance with me and touch me. I rejected him

Seeing that I was really here, my father-in-law said: Can you tell me why this is what I did? I never forced you, never thought of hurting you, I didn’t ask for much, even if I just dance normally, I am very happy. Do you know what my greatest happiness is in the past two years? I wake up in bed every morning and think of you in my life. You gave me the greatest hope and ruined it with your own hands. This is unfair to me.

I said: Do you think we can go back to the beginning? If you have to correct the mistake, you must be corrected. I didn't want to hurt you, and I never made any promises. If I misunderstand you, even if I am wrong, it's my fault.

So he began to beg me again and said a lot of emotional words, but later he was crying

Seeing that my attitude was always very firm, he reluctantly agreed, and he could say he was helpless. He said: I'll say the same thing, listen to you, as long as you are happy, who makes me like you

But it was obvious that he looked very depressed

He probably didn't want me to see him losing control more and said he was going back

When I was about to get up and see him off, he waved his hand and signaled that he would not use it.

I feel he might be a little disappointed and angry with me

I'll send him to the door

Seeing his sad back, I felt indescribable.

Habits are sometimes a terrible thing, because habits will take for granted

Because of habit, no one thinks what it would be like if you lose it

In fact, sometimes it’s not that others are bad, but that we have more demands. When we get used to getting, we forget to be grateful.

In fact, the original plan for the novel is to be written here, and the relationship with my father-in-law has basically ended.

Because when I officially decided to write this novel, it was at the end of March 2016, when my father-in-law and I had successfully proposed to break off the ambiguous relationship. It was when I felt that this experience was ended that many people regarded as not very glorious. It was when I thought I could tell and summarize my experience calmly.

But life just likes to joke. Just when I feel good about myself, what happened during my continuous update of novels made me in a dilemma. I didn't even tell these things Mingyue, the main author of the novel.

Life is not a novel, it will not develop according to your own ideas. It is much more difficult than a novel.

Since I asked for a break, I began to deliberately alienate my father-in-law. I had no contact with him for the past two months. My husband proposed to visit him together, but I didn't even go there.

I didn't care about anything about my father-in-law. I began to feel that I could have completely broken off this ambiguous relationship with him.

Until one night, my husband suddenly received a call from his brother saying that his father-in-law was hospitalized and had mild cerebral bleeding.

We rushed to the hospital. In the car, I asked my husband why this happened suddenly. My husband said that shortly after the Lantern Festival, he seemed to have become a different person and was no longer interested in anything. Then he got headaches and dizziness every day. He went to the hospital several times, but his blood pressure was not lowered.

I didn't go to the company anymore, so I mainly handed it over to the two brothers to manage it. I said: Why have I never heard you say it?

My husband said: I don’t know why, Dad told me specifically, telling me not to tell you

Shortly after the Lantern Festival, wasn’t that the last time I met him?

Thinking of this, I really regret and blame myself

I began to wonder if it was too heartless to break up in this way. If we gradually distance ourselves, would it be easier for him to avoid harm?

Although I don't have that kind of male and female relationship to him, even if he treats me like this, I still respect him very much.

Just because he doesn't force me, he deserves my filial piety and respect, and he should not be hurt.

In fact, it is easy to like someone, just be willing to give

It is difficult to respect someone, you must learn to restrain your selfish desires

My father-in-law should like me too much. He should be just sexual, not be so depressed, not so sick. This time, the blow to him was very serious, because everything that happened to me in the past two years was not only physical, but also ambiguous relationship with me.

The most difficult thing in this world is not the process of waiting for love, but the process of waiting for love to disappear