Chapter 9

On that day, Qu Yaning was about to get off work, a man pushed open the door of her office. She frowned and looked up at the other party. The tide of memories was overwhelming and completely submerged her.

Fang Mu?

Long time no see, Xiao Ning! It was not until the familiar voice and the unique title that Qu Ya Ning completely recognized the elegant but vicissitudes of the man in front of him.

She controlled her inner excitement and pinched her fists in the trousers.

Twenty years have passed, how do you know I am here?

Fang Mu was also a little embarrassed. The chair was right beside him, but he was embarrassed to sit down.

Although I am abroad, I have been asking for information about you, so you are married... widowed... and I know about opening this company.

So you gave me the anonymous greeting card when I got married and the unsigned white roses when my husband passed away? Qu Yaning immediately connected everything in the past

She bit her lip and thought for a moment and then asked, "A few years ago, when our company couldn't turn over the capital, a customer suddenly said that he was introduced by someone, it wouldn't be you."

Fang Mu stood there a little awkwardly, and finally said with a smile

Haven't seen me for so long, are you just asking me?

Ah, I'm sorry... I don't mean that, you can sit down first. Qu Yaning returned to her desk and wanted someone to send some coffee in. As soon as her finger touched the landline, she remembered that her subordinate had already gotten off work

Fang Mu stood up again with a tactful look, stop busy, I came here specially at this time just to have a meal with you, and you should have gotten off work.

It's time to get off work, it's time to get off work... Let's go, let's find a place to have a meal together

When the two walked side by side, Qu Yaning felt like she was dreaming. She really didn't expect that time would change, and twenty years later, she could still see Fang Mu again.

She couldn't help but look at the man beside her. She never thought that Fang Mu was looking at her too. Her eyes could only be filled with a smile if she wanted to touch her.

Neither of them spoke along the way. They obviously had a lot of words to ask, but they didn't seem to know how to speak.

Have you been doing well over the years? The more you don’t speak, the more awkward the atmosphere becomes. After entering the elevator, Qu Yaning still brought up a topic.

I can't say it's good. I've been single much earlier than you. I've been divorced after one and a half years of marriage.

Fang Mu said it very easily. The scars in the past have healed and don’t care about showing them to others, but Qu Yaning couldn’t help but be surprised when she heard it.

How could it be! Why did you divorce?

I'm not afraid of you to joke when I say it. I'm just a marriage between my parents for business. My ex-wife is a rich lady in the local area. She has a standard foreign mind and openness. She is not the same as me. In short, she doesn't like me very much. I don't like her even more. She got married less than three months after she got married. Because she was pregnant, and my father was just starting out in a foreign company and needed the support of his father-in-law, so she just stayed there and stayed up until a year and a half before she divorced.

This is all the fault of parents, and I feel sorry for your children. Qu Yaning recalled the days before Fang Mu went abroad and couldn't help but sigh.

That's nothing pitiful, the child is not mine anyway...

What! Your ex-wife is too much... Qu Yaning never thought that the first man she loved in her life was like a rag in another woman

Don’t mention these things, it’s all useless for me. I might as well take you with me at that time... Fang Mu stopped halfway and saw Qu Yaning again, really made him too excited, so he started to speak without any hesitation

sorry……

Qu Yaning didn't answer, but just stepped out of the elevator first. What do you want to eat?

All is OK, you can decide

The two chose a very ordinary home-cooked restaurant opposite the company, and chose a corner to settle down.

I heard you have a son? Fang Mu asked casually, but in fact he had known everything about Qu Yaning long ago

At this moment, she felt a little uncomfortable when she mentioned her son.

It's Ah, I'm almost twenty, I just came back from abroad recently

It’s so old, so time is coming back soon. Now there are more opportunities for development in China and more jobs? Do you need my help?

In fact, there is no big problem with Fang Mu's words, but Qu Yaning sounds a bit despised her son.

No, no, my son is very promising. Now I can’t compare to him if I collect patent fees a year. I haven’t grown up yet, just like a child.

Fang Mu took the tea and took a sip to hide his awkward expression

That's really amazing, but your child will not be bad no matter how you do. When will you meet together when you have time? I'll take a look at us, our top students.

This... depends on the situation. The phone suddenly rang. Qu Yaning quickly took the excuse and perfunctorily. He picked up the phone and clicked it. It was actually a message sent by Lu Xiaorong, asking her if she had gotten off work.

She held the phone in her hand and hesitated for a while. I'll work overtime tonight, you can eat it yourself.

After sending this message, she did not feel as relaxed as expected, but became even more nervous

She didn't know why she was lying, but she didn't want Lu Xiaorong to know her relationship with Fang Mu, because she subconsciously felt that this would make things more complicated

Lu Xiaorong replied quickly, "Good words made her feel like she was sitting on pins and needles."

She had no idea about having dinner with Fang Mu. She was just talking about the past and remembering the past.

Although the woman's keen intuition told herself that the other party might have the idea of ​​reunion, at least she has no plans now.

But since these two messages, she seems to be unable to concentrate anymore

Fang Mu then asked her about her recent situation over the years with concern. She always responded while looking around.

It seems like Lu Xiaorong is around him. This feeling is like he betrayed him emotionally.

She just had a meal with another man, but she felt a sense of morality. The mother had the awareness of keeping her body as jade because of her son. This was simply ridiculous!

But this ridiculous thought echoed in my mind. Qu Yaning couldn't help but fall into a brief loss of consciousness, so that Fang Mu on the opposite side said that when he was moved, he gently held her hand, she forgot to react, just stared at him foolishly, but he was thinking about another person in his mind.

It was exactly the same as in the milk tea shop, Lu Xiaorong stood outside the glass window and watched his mother's hand being held in the palm of his hand by another man. He was waiting for her to resist, waiting for her to shake her sleeves and go.

But there wasn't either, Qu Yaning just stared at the other person so stupidly, and that was a look he had never seen before.

Lu Xiaorong couldn't bear to look at it anymore, so he turned around and walked to the side of the road and squatted on the curb.

And the moment he turned around, Qu Yaning had quickly pulled out her hand after she came to her senses.

Don't do this... Just chat like friends

Sorry, I was a little excited, it was because I was too impatient... Fang Mu rubbed his fingers and said apologetically

Xiao Ning, you should still be single

Fang Mu's question made it difficult for her to answer. She hesitated for a moment and nodded. She could only choose to nod, no, she had to choose to nod!

I am not going to leave when I come back this time. I invested in a friend's company here and helped him handle some company affairs. I have a wealth of time. If possible, can we meet frequently?

Let’s talk about the future later. The company is now in the rising period, and I am busy with work every day. I actually have very little personal time.

Career is very important, but that is only one aspect of life. You still have to think more about yourself and the future

Qu Yaning turned her head away, tied her hair up, and no answer

Fang Mu knew that he could not continue to talk about this topic, so he began to recall everything he had when he was young. Qu Yaning slowly entered the state. Under his guidance, she also remembered her youth before she became a mother.

That short flower season was the first highlight in her life

After falling into memories, this meal had the meaning it should have. Unconsciously, it was almost 9 o'clock after finishing.

The two walked out of the restaurant slowly. Qu Yaning's mind was on Fang Mu who had just returned. It was not until now that they felt a little cold. The wind seemed particularly strong today. The moisture in the air condensed into fog, indicating that a heavy rain was coming. Everything is good in this city, but there is too much rain.

She couldn't help but stretched out her hand and rubbed her arms. Fang Mu saw it and immediately planned to take off her coat.

At this moment, a girl walked over from a distance with a bag and walked to Qu Ya Ning's side.

Hello, Miss Qu, this is the coat you ordered in our store today, please take it! After the girl finished speaking, she put the bag in Qu Yaning's hand, and then ran away as if she ran away.

Qu Yaning opened the paper bag with a suspicious look on her face. It was a pure white long down jacket inside. How could she order such a casual clothes? And it was the most impermanent white!

She frowned and shook her coat, looked at it disgustingly, and finally put it on her body as if a pair of arms were wrapped around her, warming her body, but colding her heart.

She didn't have to think about where the clothes came from. The thing that worried her the most was still happening.

Xiao Ning, if you are fine, should we go to the cafe and sit in it for a long time?

Next time, I have something to deal with tonight! Qu Yaning tightened her down jacket, lowered her head and responded coldly

OK Then I'll take you home

No, I have a car, just drive it back by myself, you can go back early too. Seeing Qu Yaning's attitude firm, Fang Mu had to nod regretfully and turn around and go

As soon as Fang Mu walked across the road, Qu Yaning immediately took out his cell phone and called Lu Xiaorong.

Where are you?

Who is he? Lu Xiaorong's tone is very calm

Yes... it's a friend of mine!

Is he that Fang Mu? The one that my dad often mentions when quarrels with you? The calmness in Lu Xiaorong's tone made Qu Yaning feel scared.

Lu Xiaorong, where are you? If you have anything, let’s talk about it

Did you ever fall in love? He was your first love?

How did you know this? Qu Yaning shouted at her phone

What my father told me during his lifetime, he said you never loved him, you always loved another person, but you can never be together, he said you are a good woman, and there should be a better man to love you

Lu Xiaorong narrates the memories of the past word by word

He was only nine years old at that time. His father pulled him to chatter for a long time after drinking, and he was just listening quietly.

Finally, my father said, your mother is a good woman, but I am not worthy of her

Lu Xiaorong asked seriously with his dark eyes, "Is I a good man?" Is I worthy of my mother?"

My father laughed and touched his head. You are not yet, because you are still young, and you will be when you grow up. My son is so smart that he will definitely be a good man, so good that your mother is not worthy of you!

Qu Yaning knew her son's character very well, so she never told him all the bad things. She hoped that her son could live in a brighter world, and for this she could carry the darkness and walk alone.

But others don't think so. Her husband and her father will treat this untalking child as the object of congratulations whenever they drink too much.

Say everything you should say or shouldn't say without any scruples

Son, don’t think about it all, that’s all the past? Where are you, can we go home first?

But now he is back. Is he a better man in your heart? Are you still loving him?

Lu Xiaorong stood on the overpass fifty meters away from her, looking down at his white mother

But he was wearing very thin clothes himself, and his hands holding the phone were frozen in purple by the cold wind.

What exactly do you want to say? Qu Yaning was a little anxious. She didn't know what Lu Xiaorong would do. Although she knew her son, she couldn't guess his wild ideas at all.

I don't know, he held your hand, you didn't even hide from you, and you looked at him, with some longing. He was your first love, you deceived me to work overtime in order to have a meal with him... I was angry... This felt not good at all, it was not good at all, it was not good when you said those words to me last time. Since I was young, I have never been angry with you... Is it because of him that you rejected me? Because I am your son, I will never be qualified to be the good man who matches you. I want to rush in, but you will be angry with me again...

Lu Xiaorong's first expression was so confusing, and his preface was inconsistent

He was like a panicked and worried about gains and losses, and this emotion was clearly conveyed to Qu Yaning's heart through two phones between fifty meters.

I left... Before Qu Yaning could speak, the phone was completely hung up. The last sentence she left was, I left

Qu Yaning held the phone and turned off the phone when she dialed it over again.

She knew that the problem between them, mother and son could not be solved so easily. He was just enduring or looking for other opportunities before.

There is no such thing, and she doesn't even give her a chance to explain... Qu Yaning stood on the sidewalk and chopped her feet hard, and she could only lose her temper at herself

Why did I give birth to such a guy? I'm really troubled

Qu Yaning rushed home this time and opened the wardrobe of Lu Xiaorong's room, and then opened the wardrobe in his room.

After calming down, she began to think about how to deal with this matter. Today she did lie. It is estimated that it is difficult for her son's emotional intelligence to understand the reason why she lies, so misunderstandings are inevitable.

She was too tired during this period and really didn't want to cause any more trouble.

But Fang Mu was his first love after all. They once fell in love so much, but they were broken up.

Now that the old people are reunited, is it too much to have a simple meal when you are sad and tragic in autumn?

Even if he had other ideas about him, it had nothing to do with Lu Xiaorong. After all, he was single. Could it be that just because his son made a fool of himself, she belonged to his son?

Do you have to keep your son like jade?

Absurd! It's simply unreasonable! She stood up from the sofa angrily, clenched her fists and shouted like she was venting.

But for a few seconds, she sat down again with one hand on her chin, looking melancholy

Is it really ridiculous? But she obviously felt so strongly betrayal today

Half an hour later, Qu Yaning fell on the sofa, looking at the gorgeous chandelier in the empty living room

Did I really fall in love with my own son? Men and women love other than motherly love? Qu Yaning, you are crazy, you are crazy with your son

This time Lu Xiaorong disappeared more thoroughly than before, and there was no news at all for three days

At first, Qu Yaning was very anxious. Even if she didn't sort out her feelings, she was still a son after all. She couldn't just let him leave and leave it alone?

She took a day off and looked for all the places he could think of, he might go to.

Until after ten o'clock in the evening, and still getting nothing, the woman's intuition became more sensitive

Recalling the experience of today, she suddenly felt that Lu Xiaorong seemed to be by her all the time, just around her, so she dragged her broken legs and searched the entire building again.

It was almost twelve o'clock before she gave up completely. It was like playing hide-and-seek with him.

All the appearances created by Lu Xiaorong when he came back were illusions. He looked arrogant and domineering and did not change at all.

There is always a child who is afraid of light in the genius' heart. He is talking about him.

But he can't always torture his mother like this!

The next day, Qu Yaning went to work directly. She walked very slowly on the way to and from get off work, and the car drove slowly. The feeling of being peeped became more and more obvious.

She began to pay attention to clues, and finally, when she entered the corner of the building, she used a makeup mirror to see Lu Xiaorong following far behind with her face while tidying up her face.

She bit her lower lip angrily, but the next second she was a little helpless. The guy was wearing a jacket with a hood, and actually had a moist trace and a mask.

He thought I wouldn't recognize him like this?

That's the flesh that fell from my body

As soon as Qu Yaning turned around, the figure immediately retracted into the pillar. She looked at the crowd coming and going. She wouldn't be chasing this bastard in high heels. In desperation, she had to go to the company to handle the work.

On this day, she received a foreign cross-border call. The other end of the phone was Lu Xiaorong's mentor in the United States.

Hello, I took the initiative to call you, but please believe that I decided to make this call after thinking carefully for a long time. It is related to your son and it is very important...

After the phone hung up, Qu Yaning sat on the chair and didn't come back to her senses for a long time. She was originally swaying left and right at both ends of the scale, and the phone undoubtedly added heavy weights to one end.

The more her son exposed her efforts, the stronger her feelings resonated with her, but the more rational she could not do whatever she wanted. She felt that she was about to be torn apart by these two spiritual forces.

But no matter what is the most important thing at the moment, it is to find Lu Xiaorong first

On the third night, Qu Yaning was dragging it a little late. When she got off work and parked the car and walked towards the building, she suddenly thought about it and decided to turn attack into defense.

She was holding a cell phone in her hand and deliberately walked very slowly. When she was about to reach the steps, she was cruel and pretended to be tripped and fell directly on the steps.

Then she covered her knees and hung her head. She had her hair shawl today. Through the gap between her hair, she could slightly see the surrounding situation.

I don't believe you won't come out!

In less than a minute, she saw a vaguely sight, a figure rushed out of the building opposite and ran towards her quickly.

When she got closer, she recognized Lu Xiaorong at a glance

She buried her head lower to block her heartfelt smile and fight with me. You are still a little tender.

Mom, what's wrong with you? It's okay!

Lu Xiaorong rushed over and habitually hugged her princess.

Qu Yaning was about to say no, but after the warmth that was surrounded by her was heard, she couldn't say that she couldn't say at all.

You're finally ready to come out?

How do you know I'm nearby

Nonsense, you were born to me, how much do you have? I don’t know? Is it interesting to follow me every day like a fool?

Lu Xiaorong hugged Qu Yaning and was in a dilemma. He always thought that he had concealed it well. After all, he was full of arms with a mask and a hood.

Where have you lived in these two days?

Lu Xiaorong turned his head and looked at the building opposite. Qu Yaning's original anger was completely evaporated by his stupid expression.

You're OK, take me there

Lu Xiaorong nodded, hugged her and walked opposite her. Qu Yaning looked at the bustling crowds who were walking not far away, and quickly patted him twice.

Let me go first

But you just couldn't get up even if you fell. Looking at Qu Yaning walking steadily in front of you, Lu Xiaorong frowned and asked

This is not what you learned from you. What should I do? I just promise you that I can’t use it?

Lu Xiaorong curled his lips speechlessly and took Qu Yaning upstairs

You rented a house in such a short time?

Lu Xiaorong took her to the living room, then went to the room and searched for a long time to find a medicine box

You are really rich and have no plans to spend money. How can this work? It seems that you can't let you take care of the money and get the medicine box? I said I'm fine!

Lu Xiaorong turned back to the room, took out his wallet, then pulled out two cards and handed them to Qu Yaning.

I've saved all the money here

Qu Yaning was slightly stunned. After taking those two cards, I really want to put them on my mother? Let me tell you, I have a strict control over money, don’t regret it.

Lu Xiaorong didn't say anything, but just gently pulled up her skirt, revealing her knees, although she was not injured, there were still bumps. In addition, Qu Yaning's skin was very tender, so you could still see a red mark.

It's gone for a while. I'm not so stupid. Don't be busy. Mom will talk to you.

Lu Xiaorong continued to hold the cotton swab in his hand, alcohol, and didn't even raise his head.

Tell me, I'm listening

Qu Yaning suddenly began to miss her previous son a little, although she had only lasted for a month and now she had seen her son like this for more than ten years.

Don't do this, look up at your mother!

Lu Xiaorong put down what he had in his hand and raised his head obediently

Qu Yaning looked at his face with a few blue stubble but expressionless face, and couldn't help but sigh, and didn't know where to start.

Do you want to tell me about the matter between you and him? Lu Xiaorong spoke first

Qu Yaning shook her head. My affairs with him are actually not important at all. What is important is how we should deal with the mother-son relationship between us. Haven’t you given up on that idea yet?

Do you really want me to give up? Lu Xiaorong asked back

You said, you wouldn't think your idea was right, it was normal. Qu Yaning crossed her hands and spoke righteously. While convinced Lu Xiaorong, she was also convinced herself.

Is it because of Fang Mu?

You must hold on to him, right? Yes, my mother and he are in the first love. We were together at the age of sixteen, and we separated at the age of eighteen, and his family looked down on our family and didn't like me. Later, their whole family immigrated, so we broke off contact. We had a good relationship at that time. If he hadn't gone abroad, you might not have been gone. Now I'm satisfied!

Qu Yaning suddenly felt a little irritable and couldn't help but shout it out. She felt that Tan Fang Mu had changed a lot at this time, and she felt a little aggrieved.

Lu Xiaorong puffed up his cheeks and slowly shrank, and finally pursed his lips.

Then what are you thinking now? Renewing your relationship with him? You have been single for so many years, are you waiting for him?

Are you really...are you a pig? How could I have a son like you? Tell me, what do you want? I hung up the phone and said I wanted to leave, but I moved across from me and followed me every day?

Qu Yaning stared at him tightly. She felt that her mind was distorted. The moment she just lost her temper, she actually hoped that Lu Xiaorong would kiss her directly like before.

She had realized that the conversation between her and Lu Xiaorong was not a conversation between mother and son, but was a quarrel caused by misunderstandings.

This role positioning made her quickly become involved, just like a woman, saying something against her will.

I'm afraid you will be deceived and bullied, and I don't want to make you angry, and I don't want to see you... What do I think I have said many times, I want to marry you, I want to be your son, and I want to be your husband, but you just treat me as a son, and you haven't fallen in love with me yet. It's because I'm not good enough and haven't grown into a better man.

After hearing these words, Qu Yaning was not as angry as before. She felt distressed and melancholy

You have grown into a good man, and you are a good man that your mother cannot deserve. I don’t know why you fell in love with me, but you must understand that we are mothers and sons. Your ideas are not solved by love or not. You can’t care about secular morality and ethics, but I can’t, I can’t make you become a beast who incests with your biological mother. My son should be a man who stands tall and stands tall. There is no flaw in front of outsiders. The light shines so bright that everyone envies you and your career abroad. Your research and your supervisor tells you that if you study with peace of mind, your achievements will likely make the information technology of the whole world leap to a new level. Silly son. You have wasted a lot of time on your mother, and you will definitely regret it in the future.

Qu Yaning switches back and forth between her mother and her lover, and forces herself to adapt to and stabilize her role

Is that very important? Everyone is the same. They care about whether my mind has been used to the maximum extent. But no matter how great my achievements are, it will not make me feel happy to go abroad. It is just to be better. I can stand up and shine with your means. Whether the light shines, the person I love most in my life still has to turn to other people's arms. What's the point of this? If I fall in love with my mother is a beast, then I'm already so I can change anything even if I pretend not to love. I'm just deceiving myself.

Lu Xiaorong had already knelt on the ground at some point, looking at Qu Yaning with his eyes thoroughly. He had seen through everything, so he didn't care about anything.

Then what do you want me to be like? You must make the relationship between our mother and son depend on each other for so many years so chaotic that we can’t raise our heads in front of others from now on. What do you want? To show the mother’s spoiling of her son, you will do whatever you want, or to find a man to rely on? Then why do I have to choose you, not others!

Qu Yaning was cruel and held her breath in her abdomen and said the most hurtful words in the shortest time.

After all, she is nearly forty years old and has experienced too much. Long pain is worse than short pain. Ten years later, her son will definitely understand her way of doing it.

Only in this way can he leave no regrets in his life

Others, do you want to choose him?

Qu Yaning was so angry that she trembled all over by his words, and her tone was once again pulled down.

Anyway, no one can choose you!

So I love you makes you embarrassed?

It was not just a dilemma, it made me feel pain! Qu Yaning stood up and shouted loudly to her son who was kneeling on the ground.

Lu Xiaorong's pupils shrank sharply, and when he recalled the words in his mind, the light in his eyes gradually faded. The fire that had been burning for many years was finally extinguished in the layers of cold wind and snow.

Sorry... He lowered his head and slowly spit out three words and three thorns. Qu Yaning immediately stood up with a tense face, turned his head and walked towards the door.

If you really feel sorry, completely forget those unrealistic thoughts. I am your mother, and I will always be there in the past, present and in the future! I just hope you can be my son with peace of mind, not any other messy identity!

The moment he held the door handle, Qu Yaning added a little worriedly

I cleaned up and checked out the room. I will see you standing in the living room tomorrow morning, otherwise I will really ignore you forever!

She wanted to hear her son's response, so the door opened very slowly, but until she stepped out of the room she heard Lu Xiaorong behind her muttering, like singing, or like Sanskrit.

I thought love could surpass everything...

Qu Yaning was shocked by the curse sentence and felt chill all over. She held the door frame and flashed out quickly, then closed the door with her back.

The only light source in the corridor gradually disappears

Under the cover of darkness, Qu Yaning gained a brief relief. She took off her disguise, pulled out all her strength, and slowly slid down the cold iron door.

Half an hour later, Qu Yaning, who came home, didn't even take a shower. She swallowed two sleeping pills and fell on the bed.

She can't think, nor dare to think, it's best to get up early tomorrow morning, everything will return to normal, mothers, filial sons, and life will be blessed

She slept until 8:30 in the morning. She didn't care if she would be late, but she rushed out of the room barefoot as soon as possible.

First, open the door of the next bedroom. There was no one, the wardrobe, no one. Then he rushed downstairs. When he walked to the stairs on the second floor, she found that Lu Xiaorong was standing by the dining table, holding something in his hand.

Qu Yaning then breathed a sigh of relief, rubbed her swelling head and returned to the house to change her clothes, and at the same time, she also changed her expression and went downstairs step by step

But when she actually went downstairs, she was stunned

Lu Xiaorong, who was standing by the dining table, was actually a cardboard painting supported by a chair. The edges of the characters were rough marks of reducing the grinding, and his head was a selfie of his expressionless face.

And the clothes were actually painted, and the ink was not dry yet

A piece of cardboard sticks to the right hand that is carrying it, and a large stack of drafts are neatly placed on it.

Qu Yaning picked up the drawing and browsed it quickly from the first to the last one. The painting skills became more and more solid, and the style of painting became more and more delicate, but her tears became more and more out of control.

Until the last one came into view, Qu Yaning could no longer control her emotions and burst into tears.

That one only wrote three words: I'm really leaving...