He slowly calmed down from his crazy whispering state, lay exhausted on the boat board, his body twitching slightly
The smell of sea water is like tears with salt, constantly gushing out of his mouth and nose, cold and bitter
The sun was already hot at this time, but it still couldn't give him any warmth. He choked and coughed, and his skin turned gray and swollen due to long-term soaking.
The rising sun shines on the sea, the halo is dispersed, expanding in waves
His face floated in the swaying and intertwined light and shadow, his eyes were scattered, his expression was empty and blank, and he seemed to be immersed in hallucinations and could not extricate himself, and he was still talking in his mouth:
Why... Why did you give birth to me...
Since I don't want me, why did I give birth to me...
The hand that was pressing his abdomen paused, her fingertips trembled slightly, moved to his chest, and slowly said: It turns out that this is the reason, so you will accept Asami Heiichiro's property against your mother's wishes, because she had abandoned you for a long time before you betrayed her.
As the palm touched, the breathing of the person under his body suddenly became rapid. He seemed to be unaware of anything. He continued to speak directly, and his speech became faster and faster:
You are always like this, you are always unwilling to give up, but you don't know what to do, all your actions are so naive
You are always very conflicted, hate their ruthlessness, but long for them to love you
You always indulge in fantasy, like to escape from reality, weave one lie after another, and deceive yourself and still be loved.
So you will be afraid of water, because drowning will evoke the most painful memories of your life, reminding you how to be humiliated by your biological father and abandoned by your biological mother
So you will try your best to downplay the fact that your adoptive father rapes you again and again, and only care about immersing in the dream of how he loved you in childhood
So you will choose to forget the scene of sexual intercourse between you and Yamashita teacher, self-deception, self-concealment, self-concealment
So you will repeatedly emphasize that Asami Heiichiro voluntarily handed over the inheritance to you, deliberately ignoring that he did this not out of love for you, but his hatred for his eldest son
So what about Kiyoto Sanada? It sounds so nice, but in the end you are leaving you alone to suffer in the world
Yes, this is the truth. Your world is entirely composed of lies. In fact, no one loves you, no one. I can't breathe when I say this in one breath. I have to stop for a while. A strange flush slowly appeared on my pale and handsome face. In my eyes, which were always cold and calm, there seemed to be flames burning. I whispered: Except... I...
Every time he said something, Yu's expression changed a little, and his whole face was twisted by pain, as if he was trapped by a nightmare and could not get rid of it. He didn't hear the last whisper of Ren, and he just said hoarsely: Please, let me hurt, let me hurt!
Wan stared at him in a daze, smiled mockingly, sighed, and said lightly: Then, as you wish, the sea breeze was flying, and the unheard sigh was about to blow away the sigh
******************
It was the time of high tide, and the white waves were surging, layer by layer, endless, beating the dark reefs, shattering into thousands of floating foam, making a thunderous roar
He obediently allowed his master to tie him to the bulge of the reef on the shore. His limbs soaked in the sea water were extremely soft, like a swollen fish.
After hundreds of millions of years of erosion of wind and rain, the reefs were uneven and as sharp as a knife, and they cut blood marks on his back. But even such bloody pain could not make him forget the pain in his heart for the time being.
Therefore, when the whip that torn flesh suddenly came upon him, he almost wanted to hug his executioner in tears.
But this is still not enough, it is still not enough!
He was almost suffocated as if he was wrapped in thick cocoons, and even the whip that fell like a heavy rain could not break through the blockade.
The cocoon became thicker and thicker, soft and strong, as if the black silk satin with life gradually spread and grew, enchanting and flying, isolated from the outside world
The light was swallowed inch by inch, the sun, the sea, the white gulls... All the scenery shaking and gradually merged into the dark night
But the image of her mother became clearer in the darkness, as if light shone from behind her, outlining her soft and beautiful figure. Her whole body seemed to be floating in the air, emitting the glory of love.
She is smiling
But his eyes were so sad
The eyes were fixed on him, and the care and concern that could not be eliminated.
But it's all just a phantom. Someone murmured in his ear.
The smile disappeared and the mother's figure blurred, gradually disappearing in a ball of white light
But he still remembered the voice, which was the voice that reminded him and encouraged him countless times in his ears.
He once thought it was Yamashita's teacher, but now he knows it's not
But the man was wrapped in white light, looming, as far away as he could not tell his eyes with all his strength.
You know I'll always be by your side
Of course, I will never leave you
Who is it? Who is the person in the light and shadow?
The white light was shattering, and the man's face gradually became blurred and clear
He finally saw his face, every detail was revealed
That's him
So that's it
During those years of growth, he has been spending his own lonely life, he is talking to himself and encouraging himself
No one can call for help, no one can help
The so-called eternal companionship is just the biggest joke
Something exploded like a firework in my heart
The long-lasting persistence was like the black silk that wrapped him, and it was torn into two at this moment
He fell down, fell into the endless darkness below, fell into the cold deep sea, fell into the vast universe
The feeling of drowning is coming again, maybe it will never pass
The fear of almost suffocation was pressing on his heart, feeling that the oxygen was decreasing every minute, but he was unable to struggle and could not change it
All efforts are in vain, like a mouse fixed on a turntable, no matter how you run, you will never touch the bait in front of you.
But all this is just a phantom
Yes, this is the truth. Your world is made up of lies.
In fact, no one loves you, no one
He stretched out his arms, but he only grasped the void
He kicked desperately, but he never touched the truth
Complete loneliness
Totally helpless
Just like when he was ten years old, he knelt alone on the lonely boat, facing the chaotic and vast world
However, in this absolute darkness and void, something flashed by like a cluster of small sparks. It was too fast and he could not capture it.
He tried his best to control himself, and he must find that the spark was the key to opening the door of darkness. He was inexplicably convinced of this.
The dark night seems to be getting brighter
In the deepest part of the darkness, light and shadow are flowing faintly
He began to hear the sound of waves slapping on the reefs, and felt the light of the sun shining on the sea.
It's like he was in the deep sea, through the water waves, seeing the gulls flying in the air
In the flash of lightning, he suddenly understood what he needed
No longer struggling, no longer trying to hold your breath, just let the sea water fill his empty body
No longer insist, no longer refuse, turn into fallen leaves and flowing downstream, instead of silently fighting the striking waves like this reef
Dropping into the embrace of the vast sea and breathing with the surging waves, this violent and evil ocean will become gentle and quiet, and the cold and noisy waves will become soft water waves
Yes, as long as he is willing to give up
The lights will be lit, and his deepest desire will reappear in his life
The smell of sea water is like tears with salt, constantly gushing out of his mouth and nose, cold and bitter
The sun was already hot at this time, but it still couldn't give him any warmth. He choked and coughed, and his skin turned gray and swollen due to long-term soaking.
The rising sun shines on the sea, the halo is dispersed, expanding in waves
His face floated in the swaying and intertwined light and shadow, his eyes were scattered, his expression was empty and blank, and he seemed to be immersed in hallucinations and could not extricate himself, and he was still talking in his mouth:
Why... Why did you give birth to me...
Since I don't want me, why did I give birth to me...
The hand that was pressing his abdomen paused, her fingertips trembled slightly, moved to his chest, and slowly said: It turns out that this is the reason, so you will accept Asami Heiichiro's property against your mother's wishes, because she had abandoned you for a long time before you betrayed her.
As the palm touched, the breathing of the person under his body suddenly became rapid. He seemed to be unaware of anything. He continued to speak directly, and his speech became faster and faster:
You are always like this, you are always unwilling to give up, but you don't know what to do, all your actions are so naive
You are always very conflicted, hate their ruthlessness, but long for them to love you
You always indulge in fantasy, like to escape from reality, weave one lie after another, and deceive yourself and still be loved.
So you will be afraid of water, because drowning will evoke the most painful memories of your life, reminding you how to be humiliated by your biological father and abandoned by your biological mother
So you will try your best to downplay the fact that your adoptive father rapes you again and again, and only care about immersing in the dream of how he loved you in childhood
So you will choose to forget the scene of sexual intercourse between you and Yamashita teacher, self-deception, self-concealment, self-concealment
So you will repeatedly emphasize that Asami Heiichiro voluntarily handed over the inheritance to you, deliberately ignoring that he did this not out of love for you, but his hatred for his eldest son
So what about Kiyoto Sanada? It sounds so nice, but in the end you are leaving you alone to suffer in the world
Yes, this is the truth. Your world is entirely composed of lies. In fact, no one loves you, no one. I can't breathe when I say this in one breath. I have to stop for a while. A strange flush slowly appeared on my pale and handsome face. In my eyes, which were always cold and calm, there seemed to be flames burning. I whispered: Except... I...
Every time he said something, Yu's expression changed a little, and his whole face was twisted by pain, as if he was trapped by a nightmare and could not get rid of it. He didn't hear the last whisper of Ren, and he just said hoarsely: Please, let me hurt, let me hurt!
Wan stared at him in a daze, smiled mockingly, sighed, and said lightly: Then, as you wish, the sea breeze was flying, and the unheard sigh was about to blow away the sigh
******************
It was the time of high tide, and the white waves were surging, layer by layer, endless, beating the dark reefs, shattering into thousands of floating foam, making a thunderous roar
He obediently allowed his master to tie him to the bulge of the reef on the shore. His limbs soaked in the sea water were extremely soft, like a swollen fish.
After hundreds of millions of years of erosion of wind and rain, the reefs were uneven and as sharp as a knife, and they cut blood marks on his back. But even such bloody pain could not make him forget the pain in his heart for the time being.
Therefore, when the whip that torn flesh suddenly came upon him, he almost wanted to hug his executioner in tears.
But this is still not enough, it is still not enough!
He was almost suffocated as if he was wrapped in thick cocoons, and even the whip that fell like a heavy rain could not break through the blockade.
The cocoon became thicker and thicker, soft and strong, as if the black silk satin with life gradually spread and grew, enchanting and flying, isolated from the outside world
The light was swallowed inch by inch, the sun, the sea, the white gulls... All the scenery shaking and gradually merged into the dark night
But the image of her mother became clearer in the darkness, as if light shone from behind her, outlining her soft and beautiful figure. Her whole body seemed to be floating in the air, emitting the glory of love.
She is smiling
But his eyes were so sad
The eyes were fixed on him, and the care and concern that could not be eliminated.
But it's all just a phantom. Someone murmured in his ear.
The smile disappeared and the mother's figure blurred, gradually disappearing in a ball of white light
But he still remembered the voice, which was the voice that reminded him and encouraged him countless times in his ears.
He once thought it was Yamashita's teacher, but now he knows it's not
But the man was wrapped in white light, looming, as far away as he could not tell his eyes with all his strength.
You know I'll always be by your side
Of course, I will never leave you
Who is it? Who is the person in the light and shadow?
The white light was shattering, and the man's face gradually became blurred and clear
He finally saw his face, every detail was revealed
That's him
So that's it
During those years of growth, he has been spending his own lonely life, he is talking to himself and encouraging himself
No one can call for help, no one can help
The so-called eternal companionship is just the biggest joke
Something exploded like a firework in my heart
The long-lasting persistence was like the black silk that wrapped him, and it was torn into two at this moment
He fell down, fell into the endless darkness below, fell into the cold deep sea, fell into the vast universe
The feeling of drowning is coming again, maybe it will never pass
The fear of almost suffocation was pressing on his heart, feeling that the oxygen was decreasing every minute, but he was unable to struggle and could not change it
All efforts are in vain, like a mouse fixed on a turntable, no matter how you run, you will never touch the bait in front of you.
But all this is just a phantom
Yes, this is the truth. Your world is made up of lies.
In fact, no one loves you, no one
He stretched out his arms, but he only grasped the void
He kicked desperately, but he never touched the truth
Complete loneliness
Totally helpless
Just like when he was ten years old, he knelt alone on the lonely boat, facing the chaotic and vast world
However, in this absolute darkness and void, something flashed by like a cluster of small sparks. It was too fast and he could not capture it.
He tried his best to control himself, and he must find that the spark was the key to opening the door of darkness. He was inexplicably convinced of this.
The dark night seems to be getting brighter
In the deepest part of the darkness, light and shadow are flowing faintly
He began to hear the sound of waves slapping on the reefs, and felt the light of the sun shining on the sea.
It's like he was in the deep sea, through the water waves, seeing the gulls flying in the air
In the flash of lightning, he suddenly understood what he needed
No longer struggling, no longer trying to hold your breath, just let the sea water fill his empty body
No longer insist, no longer refuse, turn into fallen leaves and flowing downstream, instead of silently fighting the striking waves like this reef
Dropping into the embrace of the vast sea and breathing with the surging waves, this violent and evil ocean will become gentle and quiet, and the cold and noisy waves will become soft water waves
Yes, as long as he is willing to give up
The lights will be lit, and his deepest desire will reappear in his life
![[Science fiction] The diary of the female fall of the white-haired pseudo-woman - SM, fake girl](/templates/nvshen/themes/img/thumb_1.png)