Chapter 10

After the female doctor left, I deeply felt that my life might change from now on

Starting from Xiao Yu, distant thoughts travel through my sorrow, leaving behind a peaceful and lonely meadow. Under the torture of longing, life has lost its normal balance, like a depressed pendulum.

In my memory, in the past, women were surrounded by me, they were extremely graceful and graceful. I spent day and night with them, singing every night

In the past, the free and lingering and luxurious life began to end

It's like a dream

The water droplets, smoke, fragrance, rotten smell in the air, all kinds of objects and strange and mixed smells are transformed into nothing like foam

The tables, watches, computers, books, bed sheets, carpets, etc. in the room seemed to float into a misty abyss.

I don’t know where time solidifies, and where space breaks. Melancholy begins to parasitize like a parasite in my beautiful time, parasitizes in every cell of my blood, parasitizes in my blood vessels, and gradually cold blood. My body cannot divide the day and night, and cannot distinguish between reality and dreams. I can only use the shadows of memories and attachment to smear my soul

The female doctor is so unique. She is a musical score mixed with purity, psychedelic, indifference, boiling, low-pitched, and high-pitched. It seems that it has not existed.

I miss her, but I have to learn to forget

Struggling between angels and devils is a nightmare that I can't get rid of in my life

During that time, a few days before Bian Jing came back, I treated Song Min as a heroin that numbed herself, soaked in her bed every day, getting stuck on her body

Although she is also an incarnation of an angel and a devil, I used the fragrant, sweet and greasy way to create an atmosphere to make her fall into my trap

I don't care about her

In the past, every time I had sex, I wanted to die on her. Her beautiful and evil eyes and plump and solid breasts made me willing to shed the last drop of sweat and the last drop of semen for her, and then died tragically in the climax.

But now I want her to die under me

Every time I get off her, I go take a shower, drink a glass of red wine, and then immediately gets hard and throws her to any place and strikes her like a storm.

Making love is different from sleeping. The former is lust and the latter is love.

Now I can't tell the difference between the two. Psychology and pity are also a kind of love, cruelty and lust are also lust. I only have sexual instinct for Song Min at this moment, just like what she said at every orgasm she doesn't ask for the same year and birth on the same day but die on the same day in the same year and the same day.

Hamlet once wondered whether to survive or die

Song Min and I were confused by the painful love and the tragic desires that could not extricate ourselves.

She cared about my sadness and was so heartless and accommodating to me. She and I seemed to have painted a colorful oil painting of the Beast. The bed sheets were covered with sweat, semen, love juice and blood, and our thick, indelible crazy love.

We are lovers, we can't stop having sex

We are close lovers, we have nothing to do

You should write down our matters in the bathroom, Song Min said to me

Is the real description and the details not missed?

Yes, the novels you wrote before were not your own life. I always feel that they are not real. It seems like I am dreaming about writing me. It doesn’t matter if it is exaggerated. Art comes from life, as long as it is real, it’s good

Written it, society will treat me as a narcissist. I shook my head and said, "Don't pay attention to those ordinary people. Van Gogh cut off his ears for his girlfriend. People also think he is a lunatic. Van Gogh is Van Gogh. You just need to be faithful to the essence of life. Maybe, you will be very famous in a hundred years, haha, she pinched my nose.

A hundred years later?! A thousand years later, I don’t want to become famous either. I just want you to be by my side! I rubbed her breasts hard

It hurts so much! Be gentle, let's get here today. I'm dying. If you come again, you won't see me. You have to go to prison for me. Haha, Bian Jing has to send you jail food every day

I have almost forgotten Bian Jing these two days, but Song Min's words made my mind clear up immediately

I may not care if someone mentions Bian Jing. Song Min’s mentions Bian Jing is like a heavy hammer hitting me!

I ran out of the bathroom in panic, went outside, picked up the phone and dialed Bian Jing's cell phone. There was no signal. I remembered that Bian Jing's father's hometown is in the mountains. No wonder Bian Jing didn't call me for several days in a row

I put down the phone and sat decadently on the sofa. I looked in front of me and seemed to see nothing. Everything around me seemed to have disappeared.

I didn't wake up until Song Min relied on my arms again

I've been in a daze these days, living like an empty shell

Can't get through?

Yes, if there is no signal, do you still hurt?

There's a little bit, you're too rough

sorry……

I leaned down, put my lips on her vagina and kissed and licked it gently. Song Min closed her eyes and enjoyed my warmth, and said softly: It feels so comfortable... It's much better now. What a beautiful tongue you have. My lover, every time I have sex with you, it's my happiest time, and even if you hurt me, I'm the happiest...

I got crazy and couldn't control myself. Sorry, my Min'er, I won't do this in the future

It doesn’t matter, sometimes I really want to kill you, but I can get under you. I still want you to kill me. Do you think women are a little tortured?

Like you said, who will be right

Yes, okay, don’t... don’t kiss anymore... I really can’t do it with you anymore... so tired!

I stopped kissing her, picked her up and carried her to the bed, pulled the quilt and covered her, she looked at everything I did for her happily, and then closed her eyes tiredly and fell asleep

A woman is a rib that God took off from a man after he created it.

Looking at Song Min who was sleeping, I felt that she was the ribs on my body. She couldn't live without me. When she left, it seemed that the lack of calcium would become weaker and weaker, as if it would be like a small spark that would be extinguished at any time in an instant.

I walked to the balcony alone and sat down, looking at the stars in the sky. The stars were like a dim and undulating sea. It was silent at this moment, but I don’t know when the strong wind would be heavy and heavy rain would be like a storm.

The whole city is like a sailboat jostling in the sea, I don't know where to send it by the changing waves

Where will I be in the future? Will I be unable to find my own direction?

I took out the female doctor's jade and looked at it repeatedly. My heart was cold and hot for a while.

I remembered Bian Jing again, what is she doing now, will she think of me

She must be more anxious than me if she can't make the phone call, and she will definitely lose her temper.

I couldn't help but laugh, remembering that when we first met, on the street, I occasionally said something wrong and she ignored me and sat on the side. Not long after, she became happy again and asked me to buy candied haws for her, ice cream, buy this and that

I like her quarrel with me, make a fuss with me, her angry little mouth is erect, her happy laughs freely, her face when she is shy, and her pure appearance when she is holding back her fear of screaming when she is climaxed, her pain and enjoyment is pure and painful and enjoyable when she is forced to scream when she is climaxed.

Thinking of this, my mood suddenly became clear. Other women will leave me, only she will not. All the women who love me in the world have left, she is the last person to stay by my side.

She will be back tomorrow. I will sort out my thoughts, adjust my mentality, and give her a bright smile to welcome her.

All the suffering and sorrow, let Song Min and I bear all the suffering alone. Song Min and I are like a united person, separating the pain, sharing it silently, saving all the secrets, leaving a sunny world, and allowing Bian Jing and I to live easily

I returned to the bedroom and lay beside Song Min. There was a smile on the corner of her mouth. She felt me ​​and reached out and held my hand. She held it very tightly.

The moon suddenly fell on the window ridge, secretly glanced at the two of us, and then ran away. The winter moon was like a stingy miser, unwilling to leave a trace of afterglow, but I grabbed her shadow in my heart...