Chapter 18

When I woke up completely, I clearly realized that all this was just a dream I had. However, this dream seemed so real that I experienced the pain of losing my wife. At this moment, my heart was still aching, but the feeling of heartache gradually dissipated with my awakening until I completely returned to my peace.

After my mood eased for a while, I slowly sat up from the bed, looking at the pillowcase that had been wet with tears, and then I realized how important my wife is in my heart. Thinking about the wonderful time I spent with my wife, I couldn't help but miss her even more.

At this time, I gradually realized that my lower body was in a slight erectile state. What's going on?

I just felt heartache and sadness in my dream, but I didn’t feel the reaction of my lower body. So how did my lower body become erect without realizing it?

Could it be that in the dream it is just an illusion in my mind, and my body is not in the scene, so I can only experience the feeling of heartache and sadness. It is precisely because of the stimulation of the scene in the dream that my lower body has an uncontrollable erection.

When I recalled the scene in my dream again, my penis, which had been slightly erect, began to become congested and continued to erect, and my stem became harder and harder as I erected. The inexplicable tension and excitement made me feel more and more exciting. The darkness in my heart attacked again, gradually swallowing my consciousness.

This time I didn't stop myself, because all this was my dream. As long as it was not true in reality in life, I could open the unknown dark world in my mind unscrupulously. This feeling was obviously better than having real sex with my wife, and I could not feel the previous heartache, so I decided to release the lustful thoughts that had been hidden deep in my heart. Since I was awakened before I watched it in the dream, I could only rely on evil lustful thoughts to help satisfy my crazy mentality in the subsequent scenes.

With the brain dominated by hormones, the lewd scene in my dream gradually began to appear in my mind. At this time, the old man Niu was lying on his wife Chen Xue's upper body, while the crotch on his lower body was tightly attached to his wife Chen Xue's buttocks, and was doing strong and powerful thrusting with a small movement. Every deeper stroke hit the center of his wife Chen Xue's body. As the old man Niu gradually accelerated the frequency, he pushed hisWhen a thick and black penis repeatedly entered and exited his wife Chen Xue's vagina, the sexual organs that had intercourse with their lower bodies were constantly rubbing against each other, which brought strong pleasure to his wife Chen Xue, causing his wife Chen Xue to make exciting moans from her throat. Out of instinct, she wrapped her arms around Niu's neck, and her feet also hooked Niu's thighs at the same time to fix the standard sexual positions of the two.

At this time, my right hand was already on my penis, enjoying the stimulation and excitement brought to me by the lewd scenes in my mind. I stroking my right hand frantically, accompanied by the fantasies in my mind. When my wife Chen Xue was sent to orgasm by the old man Niu, my lower body seemed to be about to explode and reached its peak in an instant. In the end, I couldn't resist the strong stimulation and ejaculated one stream of semen after another on the bed.

As the ejaculation ended, the lust of lust gradually disappeared, and at this moment, an unprecedented sense of desolation came instantly. I seemed to regret a little about the sudden change, and at this time this feeling of regret was gradually increasing. My brain, which was originally controlled by lust, returned to normal. Due to the desolation brought to me by the encounter, I felt that I was particularly calm and extremely sober, but this feeling made me begin to regret deeply.

At this time, I also seemed to understand a truth. No matter how strong or uncontrollable a man's lustful thoughts are, once he ejaculates, he will immediately return to normal and become uninterested in the woman. Even if this woman is very beautiful and charming, he cannot attract a man who has just ejaculated again. Moreover, the man will also have some disgust towards the woman, showing his ignorance, and lying alone smoking, he will not care about the woman around him at all. Even if this woman takes the initiative to ask for the man's comfort and caress, he will be perfunctory by the man he just met with for various reasons and excuses, and some men may even choose to escape directly.

After a series of psychological analysis, to put it nicely, this is self-entertainment, to put it badly, this is self-deception. Even though I knew it was a cliff, I still naively comforted myself to jump down. Now I think I am so stupid. At this time, I was sad to hold my hands up and sighed why I became like this?

What exactly went wrong?

Why do I have this kind of sexual thought that I shouldn’t have?

Now I began to wonder if it was because of my physical illness that indirectly affected my mental health, which eventually led to my psychological distortion. However, I have never had such a sexual wife mentality in the past many years. Since I moved to my new home, this mentality that was forbidden by the moral bottom line has gradually emerged in my heart. The first time I found that my wife Chen Xue was masturbating secretly in the gym. That time I remember that my wife Chen Xue masturbating with a dildo. Due to the appearance of the dildo, when I saw foreign objects entering and leaving my wife Chen Xue's lower body, I felt that I had the mentality of sexual wife for the first time. And that time I also fantasized about the scene of my wife Chen Xue being poked by the dildo, and I also ejaculated semen with the fantasy in my mind.

Unlike this time, the first time was just my first taste of the forbidden fruit, so I didn’t regret it too much, but just felt it was a little ridiculous. Later, the scenes I imagined made me worry and scared. At that time, I didn’t have a sperm on my brain, but that time I successfully restrained my wife’s psychology and finally did not do that boring masturbation.

But just now, due to my temporary indulgence, I submitted again and did an embarrassing thing that I regretted afterwards. At this time, I bit my lower lip hard, and my hands holding my head began to scratch my scalp frantically. I secretly made a decision that I must get rid of this kind of lewd wife's mind and can no longer think of these messy things. Otherwise, if this long-term development continues, I will only make me fall deeper and deeper, and in the end I can't extricate myself, and even hand my wife Chen Xue to others for enjoyment.

With my complete awakening, I forgave myself again and slowly put down my hands holding on my head. At this moment, there was a trace of blood in my mouth, which was enough to show that I had made a lot of perseverance and didn't even notice a trace of pain when my lips were bitten and bleeding.

From the time I woke up from my dream to the present, due to my own series of fantasies and psychological struggles, I did not notice that the sky was still dark outside. At this time, I saw that it was not yet dawn, I picked up the phone next to my pillow and looked at the time. I was surprised to find that it only took more than two hours from the time I had finished washing and sleeping until I woke up from my dream. It seemed that I had to rest quickly. It was already very late. Looking at the semen that was about to dry up on the bed, I didn't pay attention to it, but moved my body to the other side of the bed, lay down again to try to let myself fall asleep. I just didn't know how long it took before I gradually fell asleep.