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Chapter 198

5days ago Urban Novels 4
The aftereffect of the rain in Shanghai is the mist like fog.The city is in storm and storm, and is isolated and helplessly endures the invasion of nature's tyranny.

The gray rain-filled clouds were very low, almost rubbing against the tops of the tall buildings, and the bottom of the black sky, all against the shiny shells of the buildings.

The city is like a group of well-behaved children, with lights on the tops of some buildings lit up during the day, and in the sky dominated by dark cumulonimbus clouds, it is like a group of monster goblins, leaping wildly with pleasure.

Shabby stood on the balcony of the school and could see the towering light mount in Hongkou Stadium standing bitterly in the wind and rain.

It was already dusk, but the darkness of the sky was even greater than expected, and the thick clouds pulled the dark side off prematurely.

For the day, Shabby seemed to be looking forward to something inexplicably, and she was expecting the ringing of the phone.But there was no voice from all the calls.

She never thought about getting to bed with Mu Yan like that yesterday. She always felt inferior to herself.

Since she was a girl, she has always felt an unclean feeling, which makes her feel a deep hidden inferiority.

The storm that happened to the girlhood inadvertently caused her to feel guilty.

With these two feelings, when she entered society, she no longer felt that she had anything to cherish.

She found that this society would not pay attention to the feelings of her soul at all, and that all the inferiority and uncleanness in her heart would not pay attention to this society.

As long as she tries to her appearance, she will naturally gain everything she has as a woman.

She found that the degree of attention she paid in the pile of men was far from closely related to her heart, but was definitely proportional to her self-modification.

Therefore, she increasingly gave up on maintaining and cherishing her soul.

She never thinks about what is deep in her soul, but only reinforces the sexual characteristics of her appearance.

The more closed the heart and the more open the appearance, the more the man's world can rotate around her.

The body that she had been disgusting deep in her heart, but she read another value from a man.

When she was a child, she felt that she was fat and developed too plumply, and her high breasts once made her ashamed. All these strong feminine characteristics were unexpectedly sought after by men.

At that moment, she seemed to understand that a man was different from the aesthetic values ​​she fantasized about in her heart, and what she disliked was exactly in line with the man's appetite.

With such an understanding of men, she knows how to make men like and fascinate them.

However, she felt a different feeling from Mu Yan.

Maybe it was because she lived together from the beginning. She didn't treat him as a man, but more of her little brother.

She hadn't thought about any further relationship with the boy.

In her mind, she lived with him for so long, but maintained a pure friendship, and gradually grew a kind of trustworthy feeling that was not purely out of physical body.

During those days, the feeling of supporting each other every day made her feel a purity of long-lasting taste.

The feeling of longing for nourishment deep in her soul is slowly reviving.

At that time, she felt that he appeared in the room, so she felt a sense of security and completeness.

Is this a kind of love from the soul?

She had almost no time and ability to think about what was behind this.

But she could feel a little unconsciously that her soul softened and let go in front of him.

When her soul opens, the opening of her body is a true natural stretch.

She was willing to give her body perfectly to him in the atmosphere she liked. She had never thought of getting satisfaction in her body, but she was willing to satisfy the man she liked.

However, after finishing her, Mu Yan poured a basin of cold water on her.

She was speechless, and she suddenly felt that after crossing the initial physical barrier, she would have to face such deeper problems.

Her body has been used for more than one man, and from Mu Yan's slightly sarcastic words, we can see that the man is not unwilling to care.

The body that I devoted my soul to and those that purely satisfy the sensory needs of men use her same body. What is the difference between these two?

She thought of the film review about "The Peerless Prostitute" posted on the forum that she wrote in the past. At that time, she was worried about the pain in others' hearts in the article. Now, she suddenly realized that the mentality she expressed in the article was the inner wound she was in a dilemma at the moment.

Maybe at that time she foresaw the hesitation in her heart that was destined to be unable to escape, but it was unconsciously revealed at that time, and dripped out through the carrier of the movie. Now, she finally tore open the seemingly healing scars and touched the real pain in her heart at this moment.

Because it rained today, few people came in the training class. In the afternoon, Shabby took the initiative and took a holiday early, but she was too lazy to move. She was alone in the empty school, thinking silently.

Hearing the ringtone of her phone, she looked for the direction of the sound.She just put her phone on the desk in the office. She left the balcony corridor and touched her phone