There are always some things we don’t dare to do, but we don’t want to do and don’t want to do them.
We call it not
It is our moral bottom line
If the law is a referee, then morality should be a goalkeeper
It is precisely the most ordinary people who do not do anything to keep the bottom line of this society
In the following days, my father-in-law was recuperating alone there, and I didn’t know how the effect was. He called and said it was OK
Time passed quickly, 20 days passed in a blink of an eye, and my father-in-law's treatment time was also up, so my brother-in-law took him home
Seeing that my father-in-law still looked bad and was not in a good mood after he came back
She thought it would be necessary to have a long talk with her father-in-law.
Xiyuan also thought a lot during these twenty days.
Since she decided to break off the ambition with her father-in-law, she would not change again. What she thought about in the future was how to refuse and how to deal with the aftermath
No more thoughts about looking back
The time in the tourist pool was not considered a compromise, it was a stopgap solution to make a better decision.
Rejection is a science, an art and wisdom, enough for them to study for a lifetime
Not refusing will bother them
Blind rejection can easily cause harm
She thought that there may be three possible results for rejecting ambiguous relationship between her father-in-law. The first is to transfer the relationship between her father-in-law and sublimate it into friendship and family, and then appreciate, respect and care for each other.
This is the best result and the most difficult one is
The second is to let the father-in-law accept the facts helplessly, let the incident return to the origin, and become passers-by and strange in his heart.
Although this is not perfect, it is the safest, effective, simple and feasible
The third type is that father-in-law turns from love to hate, and turn from evil to enemies
This is the worst result, and it is also the result she is most afraid of getting
The second result was actually basically achieved the effect before her father-in-law was hospitalized. Unfortunately, the facts proved that she had made things simple, and it was difficult for her father-in-law to accept this blow.
Then she miscalculated her way of delaying her rejection again
Human feelings are very complicated and sometimes uncontrollable
History tells us that things can be arranged in detail, but it is often human emotions that change the direction of events.
So she always believes that those who know others are wise, know themselves and understand human nature is the most profound knowledge. She is still far from it.
Xiyuan is not considering the present, but the future
Maybe because she was affected by her parents' divorce in her early years and some bad experiences when she was a child, she had a natural sense of crisis and often felt insecure.
Since her father-in-law was hospitalized, she always had an unknown premonition. Her father-in-law's infatuation with her may be temporary. After he completely came out, if he was discouraged and lost his feelings for her, he was afraid that he would eventually turn into the worst third result, from love to hate, turning against each other into hatred.
In the end, she might even take her anger on her husband, even everyone around her
My father-in-law has been ups and downs for most of his life, and has been in the mall for decades. He has always been indomitable, rarely has an opponent, and has never been ruthless in killing and never sluggish. His energy is absolutely not tolerant.
Although this possibility is very small, the consequences are very serious. If that happens, she has almost no chance of winning and she can't afford to gamble, so she has to be careful
Her initial idea was not to offend her father-in-law too much, so that she would not be too biased towards her brother-in-law's family.
But if the third result appears, it will go against her original idea and embark on a path of no return
Since the second result has not been achieved, she wants to try her best to avoid the third result, there is nothing she can do, she has to work hard to achieve the first result.
It's like a Pandora's box, she wants to solve it before it is opened, the faster the better
So Xiyuan found an opportunity to go while her father-in-law's house was gone.
My father-in-law was very happy to see her coming over. When they were sitting on the sofa, he seemed to want to try to do anything to her. She waved her hand and said: Don’t think about this kind of thing anymore. Last time my father said it was the last time. Why do you think about my father’s mental state is still not very good? Can’t you let it go for such a long time?
My father-in-law was very disappointed and sighed and said: I understand the truth, life and death come from fate, wealth and honor are the same for people, it is yours that cannot escape, not your request, but I just can't control myself. Maybe you have regarded our relationship as a game, but I am not the one who is serious and lose. I lose. But if I don't seriously, I will not even have the chance to lose.
Xiyuan didn't want to get out of the way, so she said straight to the point: Dad, do you remember when you were at my house last time? We also sat on the sofa like this. That day, I asked me why I treated you like this. I thought about it later. I really owe you an explanation. If Dad is not tired, would you like to listen to me and explain it well? My father-in-law listened to what she said formally, and sat upright, ready to listen carefully.
So she said to her father-in-law: Why did I suddenly make a break? Dad thought it was very sudden. In fact, I have been struggling for a long time. Dad, you should know in your heart that even if we don’t consider ethics and morals, just from the perspective of human nature, it must be wrong to do this. Dad likes me. On the contrary, I am a little outrageous. I still can’t tell exactly why if we continue, sooner or later, we will lose control and be known that our behavior will not be tolerated by society. We will have no place to accommodate in society. We will be drowned in saliva. Dad’s lifetime reputation and all the reputation we have always cherished will be lost.
My father-in-law said: If you want, as long as we are happy, I can give up everything for you
Xiyuan said: It’s not that simple. There is nothing wrong with living the way you like, but the premise should be that you don’t hurt others. We can’t live just for ourselves. If we continue, it will not only be a tragedy between us, but also hurt the people we are closest to. They will also be unable to raise their heads for this. For me, I will be sorry for my husband, and my mother who gave birth to me and my father who raised me with great difficulty, and even all my other relatives, friends, classmates and colleagues.
Seeing that her father-in-law listened very seriously and thoughtful, she continued:For you, the greater the ability, the greater the responsibility, the business model and company philosophy you have worked hard to create, as well as many followers, and many ordinary employees, you are not afraid of the butterfly effect caused by this crisis of trust and stock fluctuations. If there is any mistake, you don’t know how many people will affect the fate of your family members. This is especially true for your family members, especially your young grandson, who is so young, has no values and outlook on life, and the road is still long. The invisible harm to his young mind will be immeasurable and may completely change him.What's even more terrifying about the direction of life is that if my husband knows it, the consequences will be even more unimaginable. Although he listens to you, he never gives in to me. I cannot guarantee that such a happy family will not suffer the tragedy of family destruction and death. We have no capital to take such risks! If we cannot get any blessing from anyone, we will also bear a huge psychological burden for it. How can we be happy? The most painful thing for a person is not to lose, but to be not happy after getting it. If there are endless torture and painful disasters, wouldn't it be even more worth the loss.
My father-in-law pondered for a long time, seemed to have some insight, and then nodded slowly and said: What you said makes sense. I have never thought so much before. It was me who was wrong. But I still want to say, I only care about your thoughts and will not force you. As long as you are willing, I am willing to take the blame for the world. For you, I am not afraid of being a villain.
Xiyuan hurriedly said: No, there is a god, man is doing it, God is watching it
My father-in-law said: I never believe in any ghosts
She said: I mean that people should have a sense of awe. It is a belief in life and an attitude towards life. What is your belief in dad?
My father-in-law thought about it, but he stopped talking a few times, and then said, "Forget it, don't say it anymore." Maybe his beliefs are just inconsistent with what they did.
Xiyuan saw her father-in-law speechless for a long time, then continued: I understand Dad's feelings for me very much, and I know that you are good to me, but being together is not just about companionship, it should be about understanding each other, not about letting each other give up anything, it should be about letting each other get more love. There is a kind of love called letting go love is not possession, but about fulfilling. I never thought of lying to you, and I don't want you to be hurt and deceived. Compared with rejection, I would rather choose to refuse, because deception is much more harmful than rejection. There is a saying that goes, I love you not because of who you are, but because I can be in front of you. To be honest, I don't have that kind of true feelings for dad. I am not worthy of you to treat me like this. I'm sorry dad. I really can't give you love and feelings. We can't indulge in forced responsibilities, we can't go to extremes. We are obsessed with emotions, not be enterprising, and decadent. It is even more undesirable to be able to take up a man who can let go. In the eyes of women, we are the strong ones.
My father-in-law smiled and said: I admire you. Listening to your words is better than reading for ten years. I actually made you speechless. It seems that most of my life has been in vain.
Xiyuan also smiled and said: I just thought a little too much, and I don’t know if what I said is right. It will be not easy to do it. If you can understand me, I won’t force me once in the end. Please agree to my request and don’t hurt or torture yourself anymore. OK
My father-in-law said: OK, I promise you, what can I do if I don’t?
She said: There is a way, I wonder if you are willing to fulfill it?
My father-in-law asked: What is it?
She said: I can feel that you are sincerely good to me. Your concern and love for me have always made me feel warm when I was frustrated. I feel that you are no different from my father. In my heart, I have long regarded you as my biological father. If you are willing to give me such a chance, I am really willing to change my role. I don’t know if you are willing to treat me as your daughter?
We call it not
It is our moral bottom line
If the law is a referee, then morality should be a goalkeeper
It is precisely the most ordinary people who do not do anything to keep the bottom line of this society
In the following days, my father-in-law was recuperating alone there, and I didn’t know how the effect was. He called and said it was OK
Time passed quickly, 20 days passed in a blink of an eye, and my father-in-law's treatment time was also up, so my brother-in-law took him home
Seeing that my father-in-law still looked bad and was not in a good mood after he came back
She thought it would be necessary to have a long talk with her father-in-law.
Xiyuan also thought a lot during these twenty days.
Since she decided to break off the ambition with her father-in-law, she would not change again. What she thought about in the future was how to refuse and how to deal with the aftermath
No more thoughts about looking back
The time in the tourist pool was not considered a compromise, it was a stopgap solution to make a better decision.
Rejection is a science, an art and wisdom, enough for them to study for a lifetime
Not refusing will bother them
Blind rejection can easily cause harm
She thought that there may be three possible results for rejecting ambiguous relationship between her father-in-law. The first is to transfer the relationship between her father-in-law and sublimate it into friendship and family, and then appreciate, respect and care for each other.
This is the best result and the most difficult one is
The second is to let the father-in-law accept the facts helplessly, let the incident return to the origin, and become passers-by and strange in his heart.
Although this is not perfect, it is the safest, effective, simple and feasible
The third type is that father-in-law turns from love to hate, and turn from evil to enemies
This is the worst result, and it is also the result she is most afraid of getting
The second result was actually basically achieved the effect before her father-in-law was hospitalized. Unfortunately, the facts proved that she had made things simple, and it was difficult for her father-in-law to accept this blow.
Then she miscalculated her way of delaying her rejection again
Human feelings are very complicated and sometimes uncontrollable
History tells us that things can be arranged in detail, but it is often human emotions that change the direction of events.
So she always believes that those who know others are wise, know themselves and understand human nature is the most profound knowledge. She is still far from it.
Xiyuan is not considering the present, but the future
Maybe because she was affected by her parents' divorce in her early years and some bad experiences when she was a child, she had a natural sense of crisis and often felt insecure.
Since her father-in-law was hospitalized, she always had an unknown premonition. Her father-in-law's infatuation with her may be temporary. After he completely came out, if he was discouraged and lost his feelings for her, he was afraid that he would eventually turn into the worst third result, from love to hate, turning against each other into hatred.
In the end, she might even take her anger on her husband, even everyone around her
My father-in-law has been ups and downs for most of his life, and has been in the mall for decades. He has always been indomitable, rarely has an opponent, and has never been ruthless in killing and never sluggish. His energy is absolutely not tolerant.
Although this possibility is very small, the consequences are very serious. If that happens, she has almost no chance of winning and she can't afford to gamble, so she has to be careful
Her initial idea was not to offend her father-in-law too much, so that she would not be too biased towards her brother-in-law's family.
But if the third result appears, it will go against her original idea and embark on a path of no return
Since the second result has not been achieved, she wants to try her best to avoid the third result, there is nothing she can do, she has to work hard to achieve the first result.
It's like a Pandora's box, she wants to solve it before it is opened, the faster the better
So Xiyuan found an opportunity to go while her father-in-law's house was gone.
My father-in-law was very happy to see her coming over. When they were sitting on the sofa, he seemed to want to try to do anything to her. She waved her hand and said: Don’t think about this kind of thing anymore. Last time my father said it was the last time. Why do you think about my father’s mental state is still not very good? Can’t you let it go for such a long time?
My father-in-law was very disappointed and sighed and said: I understand the truth, life and death come from fate, wealth and honor are the same for people, it is yours that cannot escape, not your request, but I just can't control myself. Maybe you have regarded our relationship as a game, but I am not the one who is serious and lose. I lose. But if I don't seriously, I will not even have the chance to lose.
Xiyuan didn't want to get out of the way, so she said straight to the point: Dad, do you remember when you were at my house last time? We also sat on the sofa like this. That day, I asked me why I treated you like this. I thought about it later. I really owe you an explanation. If Dad is not tired, would you like to listen to me and explain it well? My father-in-law listened to what she said formally, and sat upright, ready to listen carefully.
So she said to her father-in-law: Why did I suddenly make a break? Dad thought it was very sudden. In fact, I have been struggling for a long time. Dad, you should know in your heart that even if we don’t consider ethics and morals, just from the perspective of human nature, it must be wrong to do this. Dad likes me. On the contrary, I am a little outrageous. I still can’t tell exactly why if we continue, sooner or later, we will lose control and be known that our behavior will not be tolerated by society. We will have no place to accommodate in society. We will be drowned in saliva. Dad’s lifetime reputation and all the reputation we have always cherished will be lost.
My father-in-law said: If you want, as long as we are happy, I can give up everything for you
Xiyuan said: It’s not that simple. There is nothing wrong with living the way you like, but the premise should be that you don’t hurt others. We can’t live just for ourselves. If we continue, it will not only be a tragedy between us, but also hurt the people we are closest to. They will also be unable to raise their heads for this. For me, I will be sorry for my husband, and my mother who gave birth to me and my father who raised me with great difficulty, and even all my other relatives, friends, classmates and colleagues.
Seeing that her father-in-law listened very seriously and thoughtful, she continued:For you, the greater the ability, the greater the responsibility, the business model and company philosophy you have worked hard to create, as well as many followers, and many ordinary employees, you are not afraid of the butterfly effect caused by this crisis of trust and stock fluctuations. If there is any mistake, you don’t know how many people will affect the fate of your family members. This is especially true for your family members, especially your young grandson, who is so young, has no values and outlook on life, and the road is still long. The invisible harm to his young mind will be immeasurable and may completely change him.What's even more terrifying about the direction of life is that if my husband knows it, the consequences will be even more unimaginable. Although he listens to you, he never gives in to me. I cannot guarantee that such a happy family will not suffer the tragedy of family destruction and death. We have no capital to take such risks! If we cannot get any blessing from anyone, we will also bear a huge psychological burden for it. How can we be happy? The most painful thing for a person is not to lose, but to be not happy after getting it. If there are endless torture and painful disasters, wouldn't it be even more worth the loss.
My father-in-law pondered for a long time, seemed to have some insight, and then nodded slowly and said: What you said makes sense. I have never thought so much before. It was me who was wrong. But I still want to say, I only care about your thoughts and will not force you. As long as you are willing, I am willing to take the blame for the world. For you, I am not afraid of being a villain.
Xiyuan hurriedly said: No, there is a god, man is doing it, God is watching it
My father-in-law said: I never believe in any ghosts
She said: I mean that people should have a sense of awe. It is a belief in life and an attitude towards life. What is your belief in dad?
My father-in-law thought about it, but he stopped talking a few times, and then said, "Forget it, don't say it anymore." Maybe his beliefs are just inconsistent with what they did.
Xiyuan saw her father-in-law speechless for a long time, then continued: I understand Dad's feelings for me very much, and I know that you are good to me, but being together is not just about companionship, it should be about understanding each other, not about letting each other give up anything, it should be about letting each other get more love. There is a kind of love called letting go love is not possession, but about fulfilling. I never thought of lying to you, and I don't want you to be hurt and deceived. Compared with rejection, I would rather choose to refuse, because deception is much more harmful than rejection. There is a saying that goes, I love you not because of who you are, but because I can be in front of you. To be honest, I don't have that kind of true feelings for dad. I am not worthy of you to treat me like this. I'm sorry dad. I really can't give you love and feelings. We can't indulge in forced responsibilities, we can't go to extremes. We are obsessed with emotions, not be enterprising, and decadent. It is even more undesirable to be able to take up a man who can let go. In the eyes of women, we are the strong ones.
My father-in-law smiled and said: I admire you. Listening to your words is better than reading for ten years. I actually made you speechless. It seems that most of my life has been in vain.
Xiyuan also smiled and said: I just thought a little too much, and I don’t know if what I said is right. It will be not easy to do it. If you can understand me, I won’t force me once in the end. Please agree to my request and don’t hurt or torture yourself anymore. OK
My father-in-law said: OK, I promise you, what can I do if I don’t?
She said: There is a way, I wonder if you are willing to fulfill it?
My father-in-law asked: What is it?
She said: I can feel that you are sincerely good to me. Your concern and love for me have always made me feel warm when I was frustrated. I feel that you are no different from my father. In my heart, I have long regarded you as my biological father. If you are willing to give me such a chance, I am really willing to change my role. I don’t know if you are willing to treat me as your daughter?
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