My name is Lu Qing. I am now a sophomore at the Central Dance Academy. So far, my life can be said to be very smooth in the eyes of people around me.
My father is a high school teacher. My mother works in the city's Finance Bureau. Although she is not a wealthy family, my family has been relatively wealthy since childhood.
My only daughter is my family. My parents have been very strict with my education since childhood, so my homework has always been very good.
From elementary school to high school, I was among the top few in the class, and my teachers and classmates were very nice to me.
My aunt is a dance teacher, so my mother asked me to learn ballet with her since I was a child. What I didn’t expect was that my dancing talent was surprisingly good. So far, the municipal and provincial awards I have won are full of a wall of my house. In the end, I naturally entered this dance school that was ranked first in the country with the first place in cultural courses and dance professionals according to my family’s plan.
Speaking of which, my childhood was still very monotonous, because I was strict in tutoring when I was a child, and I have never been in love until now.
From childhood to adulthood, all my time is occupied by heavy academic and dance practice, so whenever I repeat those difficult movements alone, I envy my female classmates.
Although they have not achieved my current results, they can fall in love freely and have so much entertainment life. I can only study hard with books and stick to those training plans that will never end.
Of course, these hard work has also brought countless honors. In the eyes of classmates and parents, I became the enviable child of other people. From the teachers in the school, I became the pride of the school, but the attitude of my classmates towards me made me very confused. Waves
From elementary school to high school, the boys in the class are very nice to me. Whenever I need help, there will be boys to help, such as the scheduled schedule. The boys on duty with me are different every time, and they only let me do some very strong and easy work. They handle all the dirty and tiring work.
So at that time I was really moved and grateful to the boys who helped me
It's funny to say that when I was in high school, I learned through a primary school classmate that at that time, in order to get a group of people on duty with me, these boys were fighting for the back of the boys. Later, they had no choice but to arrange for the turn of duty.
I didn't believe it when I first heard about this. It was so strange. How could it be
I remember that my female classmate heard my answer and waited for a long time before saying: You are the goddess of our class. The boys are crazy about you. Do you know whether you are real or fake? Do you know? My former boyfriend, Zhang Huan from our class, is still obsessed with you. I accidentally saw his diary and discovered this. It was because of this that I broke up with her.
I was so shocked when I heard her words. I don't remember how I answered her. To be honest, I was thinking about my bad things at that time. They broke up because of my reasons. Although I did nothing, I also broke up a good couple after all.
Actually, this classmate of mine is very beautiful. Although he has never contacted him again after going to college, I also heard that he is a recognized school beauty in her school. Many boys are pursuing her. I don’t know what Zhang Huan is wrong. He has been thinking about me, who has never said a few words to her. I am angry and funny to him.
I blamed myself for this for a long time. Now I think about it, I am really stupid. I was so simple at that time.
Although this incident has been over a few years, I can never forget what the female classmate said when she parted. Lu Qing, there is a saying that has been in my heart for a long time. I must say it today before I can get over Lu Qing. I am really jealous of you! Do you know, how beautiful you are and how beautiful you are! Although I don’t want to admit it, I know that I’m not anything compared to you. Even Zhang Huan, whom I love the most, is obsessed with you. I know that he has you in his heart, and I will always be a substitute, so I gave up the thing he can’t stand the most is what we can’t stand for. In your eyes, are we so ridiculous? Lu Qing!
Whenever I think of him at that time, I am not in a good mood. I still vaguely remember the angry and hopeless eyes of that female classmate at that time. Maybe she still hates me now, maybe I am too narcissistic
Of course, it was also from then on that I seemed to understand why female classmates were reluctant to play with me since childhood.
I actually have no idea about how beautiful I am. Since childhood, my father told me to be humble and cautious, and to recognize myself. I still remember that when I was a child, I was taller than my female classmates and I didn’t play with everyone. Moreover, I was very introverted and not a girl who was very good at chatting. For this reason, I was once very inferior and felt that I had no advantages.
However, now this inferiority complex has gradually weakened. I am very quiet in the eyes of others, and everyone thinks I am a good girl and the teachers take good care of me. So I gradually adapted to this kind of boring life. Although I have fewer friends, I don’t think anything is there.
On the contrary, my height, as I grow up, my height has become my advantage in dancing. My net height of 175 makes me stretch when I make various difficult movements. I know that my legs are very long and straight, and this type of leg shape is particularly suitable for various dance movements.
And what puzzles me is that no matter how I practice, I can't see the prominent muscles of ordinary dancers on my legs, but they are thin and strong.
Even my aunt couldn't help but talk to me every time she saw my legs. Xiaoqing, I'm so envious of your legs. Although I don't know very well what I'm envious of, my aunt's praise still makes me very happy.
The only thing that bothers me is that my bust started to rise sharply when I was 18 years old, from A to C now. Because of my frequent dancing, my breasts are still very tall and strong, so they look particularly obvious whenever I do exercises.
I know very well that bust is too large or affects the balance of the dance moves and creates unnecessary burdens
I have been practicing hard for a long time, and I have not completely eliminated the influence of my bust size, so before every dance I will wrap myself in a thick chest. Although it feels a little uncomfortable, I can finally return to my previous state.
Because of the heavy academic performance and dance training, I have no idea about dressing. Before high school, I wore school uniforms every day, and now I still wear simple clothes. In my opinion, the same clothes I wear are enough, just a little clean and comfortable. I don’t know why these boys are so obsessed with me like this. I really don’t understand.
I don't know anything about makeup. Girls in high school started to put on makeup, and I always looked without makeup. Makeup is a very troublesome and meaningless thing for me. I am so busy that I have time to do such complicated things. However, a male classmate said that I don't wear makeup looks much better than those female students who put on makeup. This surprised me. Of course, I didn't pay attention to this boy. It's not that I have a prejudice against this boy, but I don't like having a boy saying bad things about other girls in front of me.
This is basically my past experience, it's very boring and simple
But if you think this is the whole me, then you are very wrong. In fact, what everyone doesn't know is that I have another side that is unknown, and this side is the real me
Everyone thinks that the reason why I haven't found a boyfriend is because I have strict tutoring or I have very little personal time. I thought so at first, maybe it was really the reason at first.
But as I grew up, I gradually realized that things might not be what I originally thought, and I gradually discovered that I am different
Since I was a child, I have found that I don’t feel the same way for the boys around me.
Even the tall, handsome or very good boys who are fascinated by other girls seem to be unable to attract any interest in me. Even when they deliberately approach me, I feel an indescribable feeling of discomfort in my heart.
So from the eyes of people outside, I am a very simple girl. Actually, I can’t tell what these boys think about me, but I really don’t feel anything about them, so I never bothered with these boys too much. I don’t think they have any misunderstandings about me.
I also suspected that I like girls, just like the kind of lesbians I played on TV, but I soon denied this view
It is also for this reason that I am sophomore and have never been in love. Although everyone around me thinks this is incredible, and even they think I am too picky or too good at pretending, I still maintain this state because I don’t like to deceive my feelings. If I don’t like it, I don’t like it, I would rather not fall in love.
Speaking of this, maybe many people will say that I am born with a cold and suitable for myself to live alone.
There are many such women in society nowadays, and I have heard of them a lot. My history teacher is such a woman. She is in her 40s and has not yet gotten married, and she doesn't seem to have plans to get married.
For me, this pressure is even greater. I even heard some classmates discussing that I wasted my good clothes. I could only be helpless when I heard such comments.
Actually, it would be fine if I just like myself, but this is not the case for me
Well, although I don't want to talk about this topic, this is the real reason why I am single
This is what I have gradually understood since I was in high school. If you explain this problem in one sentence, it is: different tastes for choosing a man.
Not every girl likes handsome guys, she likes boys from good grades and good families. I am an exception
I am born to dislike those boys with handsome eyes in the eyes of girls. I don’t know why they can be called handsome. They have big eyes, straight nose bridge, and thin lips are handsome. Why can’t I understand at all? I can’t appreciate the handsome words of these girls. In my eyes, these so-called handsome guys can even be said to be ugly.
Moreover, I can't appreciate their kind and polite appearance, as they look so kind.
In my eyes, the factors such as grades and family background are worthless. I don’t know why these girls are so obsessed with these pretty guys.
Anyway, I have no interest in these high-quality men in the eyes of others.
Next is what I want to say. Although I don't want to admit it, I have to say that my taste is indeed very alternative
If others know the type I like, they will definitely be shocked and will not believe it at all.
The first time I discovered that my special orientation was when I was in my first year of high school, I went to Qingdao to participate in a national dance competition on behalf of the school.
That was my first time traveling far away. To be honest, I was really excited. Of course, I would not encounter any safety problems with the school dance teacher throughout the whole process. I remember that I won the national championship in the high school group with the best results and defeated the most famous junior at that time. My dancing talent was also discovered by my current tutor at that time.
In order to celebrate our good results that night, the teacher made an exception and gave us a day off, so we could take a good tour of Qingdao
I remember that day my senior sister took me to visit the scenic spots such as Qingdao's pier, Laoshan and May 4th Square. After a day of fun, I was so happy. It was the happiest time I have ever remembered.
At night, my senior sister took us to the night market. My father has always been very strict with me. He has to go home immediately after school every day. He also practiced dancing hard on weekends, so I never visited the night market at all.
I went to the local snack street at night, and it was a weekend, so there were a lot of people.
There are also various snacks on the side of the road. My senior sisters and I walked slowly. Because we kept our figure, we didn't eat too much, mainly watching the lively scenes on the side of the road.
Our girls and sons all learn dance. They are tall and their seniors are pretty, so there are always people staring at us and passers-by looking at us secretly. As one of the objects of eyes, I was still a little embarrassed and kept lowering my head.
A senior sister next to me seemed to see something, and came to me and whispered to me: Lu Qing, I wonder if you are very charming, the men around you are staring at you. What does this mean?
Staring at me?
This senior sister is so good at joking
I pretended that nothing happened and looked up and glanced around, and found that many men were indeed looking at us. I was embarrassed to see clearly just now. Now when I looked carefully, I found that most of the eyes around me were looking at me. Although my senior sisters were still shopping, two of them didn’t seem to look very good. Could it be that I stole their limelight?
I was really embarrassed at that time, and my happy mood disappeared immediately.
Later, the atmosphere of shopping became very strange. Except for the senior sister I talked to before, the other few people could exclude me from the outside, making me feel uncomfortable
It's also annoying. One of the senior sisters saw many people huddled together in front of her and seemed to be watching something lively. She suddenly turned around and said to me. Lu Qing Ah, it's the first time you've come out to play with us. Newcomers need to perform more and exercise more to have better development. You see, it's very lively in front of us, and we're tired of shopping. You go and see what those people are watching. Let's tell us later, let's decide whether to go over or not.
This senior sister is really too much, because she has bullied people like this earlier than me. I was about to say what I refused, but suddenly I thought of what my aunt told me before. She said that the art circle not only depends on strength, but also on whether the popularity is good, and we must have a good relationship with our teammates.
Thinking of this, I swallowed the words I just said, "Well, no problem, Senior Sister Hao, I'll go and take a look first. You guys should take a break first. After that, I turned around and walked towards the crowd."
I knew in my heart that this senior sister would not go over to see it. I just wanted to teach the newcomer a lesson.
Soon I walked behind the crowd. Although I was not short, the distance was too far and I still couldn't see clearly. I had no choice but to try to squeeze in.
My girl, a son, was crowded in the crowd, and I could only say that he was being taken in by the crowd. Not long after, many people came up behind me. I could clearly feel that I was caught in the middle of the crowd. Now, even if I turn around and want to leave, it won’t be possible.
It's so embarrassing, I can't help but curse that senior sister hatefully
Just when I was in a dilemma, something suddenly seemed to be touched by the root of my left leg. What is this Ah!
I was so nervous that my whole body shivered, but my legs felt clearer. I didn't dare to move at that time, and my whole body was as stiff as a piece of hard wood.
The person behind seemed to feel my change, and carefully retreated a little, then the strange touch on my left leg disappeared, and I finally breathed a sigh of relief.
Just when I was relaxing, suddenly the person behind me seemed to know what I was thinking and posted it again, and the tension that had just faded surged into my heart again
The first thought that flashed through my mind was that this person was perverted, but before I could have time to have more thoughts, my buttocks on my right suddenly tightened, as if the person behind me covered it with one hand. Oh my God!
I actually encountered such a thing. I have never encountered such a thing since I was a child. I don’t know how to deal with it at all. I can only stand there blankly.
The pressure from the right hip was getting heavier and heavier. The person behind seemed to notice the fact that I was not resisting, and suddenly increased his strength and started to knead him.
Very excessive!
I was completely confused when I did such a thing on this occasion. Do I want to scream?
Call for help loudly!
No, several senior sisters are right next to them. They can't know about such things, and even if they shout, there is no evidence.
Then break free from the crowd and escape from this place, but the crowds are so dense that I can't move at all. I really regretted why I didn't directly refuse the unreasonable request of the senior sister, but what's the use?
Just as I was thinking about it, the people behind me were not idle and began to rub my buttocks vigorously.
It may be because I have been practicing dancing since I was a child. My butt is erect and straight, and there is no fat. I have been thinking about what looks good about women's butts, why so many people like it.
But I found that the person behind me couldn't put down his buttocks seemed to have made me understand this a lot more profoundly
I'm thinking about something!
At this time, I still think about these messy things, so I quickly regain my mind
And at this moment, the rear closure began to slowly move towards the middle of the buttocks!
Who is it?
What does this person want to do? My heart suddenly rose to my throat. In this state, I can't complete the basic thinking at all.
And because the weather was hot that day, the pants I wore were made of very thin linen material. I knew that through the pants, the pervert behind could also clearly feel the touch of my buttocks.
My hips clearly felt that the man's two fingers had moved to the middle of my hips, oh no! Does he want it!
I seemed to have guessed what he wanted to do. I was too nervous, and my hip flap began to shrink desperately. My hip muscles were very strong. I felt that his fingers seemed to be difficult to make a breakthrough under my desperate defense.
But the person behind seemed to be sure that I didn't dare to shout loudly, and didn't give up at all, and kept increasing my efforts.
We had been in a stalemate for a long time, and I felt that the air around me had frozen, and all my energy was focused on the competition with the person behind me.
Slowly my legs began to tremble, and I could hardly hold on
The hand behind seemed to have noticed it and began to attack little by little
Oh my God, I can't do this!
My heart began to be scared
Just as my will began to loosen, I suddenly stretched out a hand under my left armpit and grabbed my chest like lightning
Ah!
The direction of things was completely beyond my expectations, how could I do this!
My hip muscles couldn't hold on and completely relaxed at this moment
puff!
Those two fingers hit my anus well. At that moment, I felt as if I was shocked, and my whole body began to shake wildly as if I was constantly using it.
The man didn't seem to think of my performance, and hesitated for a moment, but he paused for a moment and started to get up and down again.
At this moment, I had given up resisting under the play of the people behind me. I only remember that my heart was beating wildly at that time, and my face began to get hot and hot. I think to others, my face must be red.
My breathing is no longer stable. Oh my God, I have been very calm since I was a child. Even if I make mistakes in the dance competition, I can always keep my inner peace. Why did I lose my composure this time? It's so shameful. I really want to find a crack to drill down.
But the numbness from the center of my hips and chest kept reminding me of the invasion I was suffering, and the clear feeling felt on my body continued to expand, spreading through the other person's fingertips, wandering in my body. Gradually, the sound around me became smaller and quieter, as if time had stopped, and the whole world was left with me and the two hands rubbing my chest and holding my anus.
Time passed so long, I remember I endured it desperately, as if I had used all my strength, my legs began to slowly become weak, my hands began to tremble, my brain was blank, and my scalp was numb. I had never experienced this feeling before
Later I realized that the feeling at that time was the so-called extreme pleasure, and I didn't realize it at that time
What a shame!
How could I have this idea? I really want to find a crack in the ground to get into it.
Because of shame and anger, I kept lowering my head and not looking back at what the sheriff looked like when the man who violated me was. I was really afraid of what would happen after looking at me.
Time passed by minute by minute, and the hand that touched my anus also began to move its position, and the target was the uninformed virgin land located further ahead.
no!
This was the first consciousness in my mind at that time. The chastity I had always maintained at that time. How could I let a man who didn't know what Zhang looked like to touch.
I tried hard to clamp my legs, but my body was not strong enough to be obedient, and my legs were soft and weak and could not clamp them at all.
Big girl, stop clamping it hard. I have never seen a girl as good as yours. I couldn't help it. Don't blame me for letting go of my legs and letting me touch it. It won't be so good.
Suddenly the man behind him leaned close to my ear and whispered, his voice was rustic and had a strong smell of garlic. It was very pungent and mixed with the sour smell of sweat that came out of his body early in the morning. Until now, I can still clearly remember the smell.
The hand had already broken through my tight legs and touched my lower body when I was lost.
As soon as my hands touched the lower body, they began to rub and tease. Oh my God!
How could it feel so much? The pleasure that had already retreated came again, and it was even more fierce than the previous few times. Even if I could no longer resist it
What this feeling is, I have never felt it before, just like my body is constantly expanding, my whole body is numb and I can't exert any strength. Suddenly, my feet are cushioning, and an unprecedented numbness and pleasure is coming from my whole body. This person is about to fly up.
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
A warm current suddenly burst out from my lower body. At that time, I could no longer see anything in front of me. I could only feel that I could fly to the clouds and experience the only feeling I had before
It's funny to think about it now. My first orgasm actually happened in this situation.
Just as my climax ended, the siren started to ring on my left. It seemed that the police rushed over to maintain order.
People around them also quickly realized that it was the police who came to evacuate the crowd.
The crowd around me saw the police and the urban management brigade coming, and they all understood what was going on and began to disperse.
I, who had just recovered from the afterglow of the climax, can finally look back at the person behind me.
To be honest, I was really nervous at that time. Although I was very scared, my head still couldn't help but go back. It was this time that my quick glance completely changed my future life trajectory.
I stared at the person behind me, and that person was also looking at me. How can I describe his appearance?
He is quite short, and I can't remember much light clothes. He only knows it's very worn, just like the dress of many migrant workers working on construction sites, looking rustic in the country
The hair is quite long, scattered, and there is a lot of oil on it
But I still remember his appearance clearly. His eyes are very small, with a big nose, and it was red on it. Later I realized that it was called a garlic nose.
The lips are very dark and thick, I remember that my face is also very big, and there are thick stubbles
My face is also dark, and it seems that I haven't washed it for a long time
I still remember when he saw me turning around. I remember when he saw my face, he suddenly became stunned and stared at me. In the end, I don’t know if it was my illusion. He seemed to have glanced at my chest and butt. At that time, I was so embarrassed that I wanted to find a crack to get into it when I thought about my unsatisfactory appearance just now.
What impressed me the most was his last grin and hey, his teeth were dirty and yellow, which reminded me of the stinking smell that came from behind when he violated me.
But what I felt just now is!
oops!
What am I thinking, when is it? Why do I still think about these things after being violated? I really couldn't calm down at that time.
The person on the other side kept staring at me. I guess he couldn't know what I was thinking. Maybe he thought I wanted to think about seeing his face and calling the police.
So before I could react, he took a few steps back and then disappeared from the crowd, leaving me alone and standing in the spot in a daze
The crowd was finally evacuated, and what's ridiculous is that I, who was joining in the fun in the past, still don't know what happened in the crowd today
I didn't even know how I returned to the hotel. Later, one of my senior sisters told me that when I went back that day, I was in a daze, as if I had lost my soul. They didn't know what happened, they just knew how to ask me and didn't say anything. Later, they didn't continue asking questions.
The next day we embarked on the return journey, and my condition improved a lot, as if nothing had happened
I remember after I returned to school, the principal organized a special praise meeting in the school. After that, I became a celebrity in the school. Many boys gave me things to confess, but I refused them all. I clearly knew that this had no meaning to me.
I thought that what happened that night was just a not-so-good episode in my life and would slowly fade away with the passage of time, but later I found that this was not the case.
Since I returned to school, I often suddenly became dazed and felt depressed and dazed. This has never happened before, and even affected my studies and dance practices for a while. Fortunately, I forced myself to review and train more seriously and not be affected too much.
What I couldn't understand most was that the memory of that night not only did not weaken with time but became deeper in my heart.
I can't remember how many nights I'd dream of that short man with yellow teeth and vulgar appearance, standing in front of me and joyfully laughing at me
What I can't accept is that every time I wake up from such a dream, I find my underwear wet
Of course I know what happened, but how is this possible? I actually dreamed of fantasizing about such a vulgar and vulgar man
Am I crazy?
Impossible, how could I feel about such a man? I really can't accept this fact in my heart
Obviously, so many male classmates of the same age in the school don’t feel it. What’s wrong with me? Am I a pervert?
No, this is just an illusion, it cannot be true. I remember that during the Chinese New Year in high school, I forced myself to comfort myself like this every day.
Time flies fast, I still remember that the scores I scored in the college entrance examination were very ideal. As I said before, the cultural courses I admitted were the first in the school now, and dance is like a part of my life for me. I, who have won numerous awards, have naturally been recognized by the examination judges, and have also entered the Central Dance Academy with the best results.
It was nearly three years since that night. During these three years, I kept thinking about various ways to get rid of the memories of that night and the appearance of that man, but memories are becoming more and more difficult to get rid of like a cervix.
He often appears in my dreams, and sometimes his appearance suddenly appears in my mind during the day. What bothers me the most is that every time I think of that man, my lower body will react. It feels very strange, just like I hope something comes in, oh!
Can't continue talking, when did I become like this? It's really lewd
And every time I think of this man, my heart will accelerate, my breathing will become rapid, and my face will get hot, just like the way that night the man violated me.
I still remember one time when my deskmate discovered it. She thought I was sick and wanted to take me to the doctor. It really made me angry and funny, and it also had a hint of shame.
In short, all the inner struggle will never stop accompanied by the three years of high school.
Since I went to college, maybe my studies have not been so heavy, maybe it was some other reason. I have slowly begun to figure out this thing that has troubled me for several years.
But I thought I would slowly forget him, but the opposite was true. I actually thought about him more and more, and even became a part of my in life. I also began to enjoy this feeling, and I could even say that I was slowly fascinated by the short figure that violated me.
At this time, I gradually realized that maybe this is the real me, maybe I am really such a crazy woman
My father is a high school teacher. My mother works in the city's Finance Bureau. Although she is not a wealthy family, my family has been relatively wealthy since childhood.
My only daughter is my family. My parents have been very strict with my education since childhood, so my homework has always been very good.
From elementary school to high school, I was among the top few in the class, and my teachers and classmates were very nice to me.
My aunt is a dance teacher, so my mother asked me to learn ballet with her since I was a child. What I didn’t expect was that my dancing talent was surprisingly good. So far, the municipal and provincial awards I have won are full of a wall of my house. In the end, I naturally entered this dance school that was ranked first in the country with the first place in cultural courses and dance professionals according to my family’s plan.
Speaking of which, my childhood was still very monotonous, because I was strict in tutoring when I was a child, and I have never been in love until now.
From childhood to adulthood, all my time is occupied by heavy academic and dance practice, so whenever I repeat those difficult movements alone, I envy my female classmates.
Although they have not achieved my current results, they can fall in love freely and have so much entertainment life. I can only study hard with books and stick to those training plans that will never end.
Of course, these hard work has also brought countless honors. In the eyes of classmates and parents, I became the enviable child of other people. From the teachers in the school, I became the pride of the school, but the attitude of my classmates towards me made me very confused. Waves
From elementary school to high school, the boys in the class are very nice to me. Whenever I need help, there will be boys to help, such as the scheduled schedule. The boys on duty with me are different every time, and they only let me do some very strong and easy work. They handle all the dirty and tiring work.
So at that time I was really moved and grateful to the boys who helped me
It's funny to say that when I was in high school, I learned through a primary school classmate that at that time, in order to get a group of people on duty with me, these boys were fighting for the back of the boys. Later, they had no choice but to arrange for the turn of duty.
I didn't believe it when I first heard about this. It was so strange. How could it be
I remember that my female classmate heard my answer and waited for a long time before saying: You are the goddess of our class. The boys are crazy about you. Do you know whether you are real or fake? Do you know? My former boyfriend, Zhang Huan from our class, is still obsessed with you. I accidentally saw his diary and discovered this. It was because of this that I broke up with her.
I was so shocked when I heard her words. I don't remember how I answered her. To be honest, I was thinking about my bad things at that time. They broke up because of my reasons. Although I did nothing, I also broke up a good couple after all.
Actually, this classmate of mine is very beautiful. Although he has never contacted him again after going to college, I also heard that he is a recognized school beauty in her school. Many boys are pursuing her. I don’t know what Zhang Huan is wrong. He has been thinking about me, who has never said a few words to her. I am angry and funny to him.
I blamed myself for this for a long time. Now I think about it, I am really stupid. I was so simple at that time.
Although this incident has been over a few years, I can never forget what the female classmate said when she parted. Lu Qing, there is a saying that has been in my heart for a long time. I must say it today before I can get over Lu Qing. I am really jealous of you! Do you know, how beautiful you are and how beautiful you are! Although I don’t want to admit it, I know that I’m not anything compared to you. Even Zhang Huan, whom I love the most, is obsessed with you. I know that he has you in his heart, and I will always be a substitute, so I gave up the thing he can’t stand the most is what we can’t stand for. In your eyes, are we so ridiculous? Lu Qing!
Whenever I think of him at that time, I am not in a good mood. I still vaguely remember the angry and hopeless eyes of that female classmate at that time. Maybe she still hates me now, maybe I am too narcissistic
Of course, it was also from then on that I seemed to understand why female classmates were reluctant to play with me since childhood.
I actually have no idea about how beautiful I am. Since childhood, my father told me to be humble and cautious, and to recognize myself. I still remember that when I was a child, I was taller than my female classmates and I didn’t play with everyone. Moreover, I was very introverted and not a girl who was very good at chatting. For this reason, I was once very inferior and felt that I had no advantages.
However, now this inferiority complex has gradually weakened. I am very quiet in the eyes of others, and everyone thinks I am a good girl and the teachers take good care of me. So I gradually adapted to this kind of boring life. Although I have fewer friends, I don’t think anything is there.
On the contrary, my height, as I grow up, my height has become my advantage in dancing. My net height of 175 makes me stretch when I make various difficult movements. I know that my legs are very long and straight, and this type of leg shape is particularly suitable for various dance movements.
And what puzzles me is that no matter how I practice, I can't see the prominent muscles of ordinary dancers on my legs, but they are thin and strong.
Even my aunt couldn't help but talk to me every time she saw my legs. Xiaoqing, I'm so envious of your legs. Although I don't know very well what I'm envious of, my aunt's praise still makes me very happy.
The only thing that bothers me is that my bust started to rise sharply when I was 18 years old, from A to C now. Because of my frequent dancing, my breasts are still very tall and strong, so they look particularly obvious whenever I do exercises.
I know very well that bust is too large or affects the balance of the dance moves and creates unnecessary burdens
I have been practicing hard for a long time, and I have not completely eliminated the influence of my bust size, so before every dance I will wrap myself in a thick chest. Although it feels a little uncomfortable, I can finally return to my previous state.
Because of the heavy academic performance and dance training, I have no idea about dressing. Before high school, I wore school uniforms every day, and now I still wear simple clothes. In my opinion, the same clothes I wear are enough, just a little clean and comfortable. I don’t know why these boys are so obsessed with me like this. I really don’t understand.
I don't know anything about makeup. Girls in high school started to put on makeup, and I always looked without makeup. Makeup is a very troublesome and meaningless thing for me. I am so busy that I have time to do such complicated things. However, a male classmate said that I don't wear makeup looks much better than those female students who put on makeup. This surprised me. Of course, I didn't pay attention to this boy. It's not that I have a prejudice against this boy, but I don't like having a boy saying bad things about other girls in front of me.
This is basically my past experience, it's very boring and simple
But if you think this is the whole me, then you are very wrong. In fact, what everyone doesn't know is that I have another side that is unknown, and this side is the real me
Everyone thinks that the reason why I haven't found a boyfriend is because I have strict tutoring or I have very little personal time. I thought so at first, maybe it was really the reason at first.
But as I grew up, I gradually realized that things might not be what I originally thought, and I gradually discovered that I am different
Since I was a child, I have found that I don’t feel the same way for the boys around me.
Even the tall, handsome or very good boys who are fascinated by other girls seem to be unable to attract any interest in me. Even when they deliberately approach me, I feel an indescribable feeling of discomfort in my heart.
So from the eyes of people outside, I am a very simple girl. Actually, I can’t tell what these boys think about me, but I really don’t feel anything about them, so I never bothered with these boys too much. I don’t think they have any misunderstandings about me.
I also suspected that I like girls, just like the kind of lesbians I played on TV, but I soon denied this view
It is also for this reason that I am sophomore and have never been in love. Although everyone around me thinks this is incredible, and even they think I am too picky or too good at pretending, I still maintain this state because I don’t like to deceive my feelings. If I don’t like it, I don’t like it, I would rather not fall in love.
Speaking of this, maybe many people will say that I am born with a cold and suitable for myself to live alone.
There are many such women in society nowadays, and I have heard of them a lot. My history teacher is such a woman. She is in her 40s and has not yet gotten married, and she doesn't seem to have plans to get married.
For me, this pressure is even greater. I even heard some classmates discussing that I wasted my good clothes. I could only be helpless when I heard such comments.
Actually, it would be fine if I just like myself, but this is not the case for me
Well, although I don't want to talk about this topic, this is the real reason why I am single
This is what I have gradually understood since I was in high school. If you explain this problem in one sentence, it is: different tastes for choosing a man.
Not every girl likes handsome guys, she likes boys from good grades and good families. I am an exception
I am born to dislike those boys with handsome eyes in the eyes of girls. I don’t know why they can be called handsome. They have big eyes, straight nose bridge, and thin lips are handsome. Why can’t I understand at all? I can’t appreciate the handsome words of these girls. In my eyes, these so-called handsome guys can even be said to be ugly.
Moreover, I can't appreciate their kind and polite appearance, as they look so kind.
In my eyes, the factors such as grades and family background are worthless. I don’t know why these girls are so obsessed with these pretty guys.
Anyway, I have no interest in these high-quality men in the eyes of others.
Next is what I want to say. Although I don't want to admit it, I have to say that my taste is indeed very alternative
If others know the type I like, they will definitely be shocked and will not believe it at all.
The first time I discovered that my special orientation was when I was in my first year of high school, I went to Qingdao to participate in a national dance competition on behalf of the school.
That was my first time traveling far away. To be honest, I was really excited. Of course, I would not encounter any safety problems with the school dance teacher throughout the whole process. I remember that I won the national championship in the high school group with the best results and defeated the most famous junior at that time. My dancing talent was also discovered by my current tutor at that time.
In order to celebrate our good results that night, the teacher made an exception and gave us a day off, so we could take a good tour of Qingdao
I remember that day my senior sister took me to visit the scenic spots such as Qingdao's pier, Laoshan and May 4th Square. After a day of fun, I was so happy. It was the happiest time I have ever remembered.
At night, my senior sister took us to the night market. My father has always been very strict with me. He has to go home immediately after school every day. He also practiced dancing hard on weekends, so I never visited the night market at all.
I went to the local snack street at night, and it was a weekend, so there were a lot of people.
There are also various snacks on the side of the road. My senior sisters and I walked slowly. Because we kept our figure, we didn't eat too much, mainly watching the lively scenes on the side of the road.
Our girls and sons all learn dance. They are tall and their seniors are pretty, so there are always people staring at us and passers-by looking at us secretly. As one of the objects of eyes, I was still a little embarrassed and kept lowering my head.
A senior sister next to me seemed to see something, and came to me and whispered to me: Lu Qing, I wonder if you are very charming, the men around you are staring at you. What does this mean?
Staring at me?
This senior sister is so good at joking
I pretended that nothing happened and looked up and glanced around, and found that many men were indeed looking at us. I was embarrassed to see clearly just now. Now when I looked carefully, I found that most of the eyes around me were looking at me. Although my senior sisters were still shopping, two of them didn’t seem to look very good. Could it be that I stole their limelight?
I was really embarrassed at that time, and my happy mood disappeared immediately.
Later, the atmosphere of shopping became very strange. Except for the senior sister I talked to before, the other few people could exclude me from the outside, making me feel uncomfortable
It's also annoying. One of the senior sisters saw many people huddled together in front of her and seemed to be watching something lively. She suddenly turned around and said to me. Lu Qing Ah, it's the first time you've come out to play with us. Newcomers need to perform more and exercise more to have better development. You see, it's very lively in front of us, and we're tired of shopping. You go and see what those people are watching. Let's tell us later, let's decide whether to go over or not.
This senior sister is really too much, because she has bullied people like this earlier than me. I was about to say what I refused, but suddenly I thought of what my aunt told me before. She said that the art circle not only depends on strength, but also on whether the popularity is good, and we must have a good relationship with our teammates.
Thinking of this, I swallowed the words I just said, "Well, no problem, Senior Sister Hao, I'll go and take a look first. You guys should take a break first. After that, I turned around and walked towards the crowd."
I knew in my heart that this senior sister would not go over to see it. I just wanted to teach the newcomer a lesson.
Soon I walked behind the crowd. Although I was not short, the distance was too far and I still couldn't see clearly. I had no choice but to try to squeeze in.
My girl, a son, was crowded in the crowd, and I could only say that he was being taken in by the crowd. Not long after, many people came up behind me. I could clearly feel that I was caught in the middle of the crowd. Now, even if I turn around and want to leave, it won’t be possible.
It's so embarrassing, I can't help but curse that senior sister hatefully
Just when I was in a dilemma, something suddenly seemed to be touched by the root of my left leg. What is this Ah!
I was so nervous that my whole body shivered, but my legs felt clearer. I didn't dare to move at that time, and my whole body was as stiff as a piece of hard wood.
The person behind seemed to feel my change, and carefully retreated a little, then the strange touch on my left leg disappeared, and I finally breathed a sigh of relief.
Just when I was relaxing, suddenly the person behind me seemed to know what I was thinking and posted it again, and the tension that had just faded surged into my heart again
The first thought that flashed through my mind was that this person was perverted, but before I could have time to have more thoughts, my buttocks on my right suddenly tightened, as if the person behind me covered it with one hand. Oh my God!
I actually encountered such a thing. I have never encountered such a thing since I was a child. I don’t know how to deal with it at all. I can only stand there blankly.
The pressure from the right hip was getting heavier and heavier. The person behind seemed to notice the fact that I was not resisting, and suddenly increased his strength and started to knead him.
Very excessive!
I was completely confused when I did such a thing on this occasion. Do I want to scream?
Call for help loudly!
No, several senior sisters are right next to them. They can't know about such things, and even if they shout, there is no evidence.
Then break free from the crowd and escape from this place, but the crowds are so dense that I can't move at all. I really regretted why I didn't directly refuse the unreasonable request of the senior sister, but what's the use?
Just as I was thinking about it, the people behind me were not idle and began to rub my buttocks vigorously.
It may be because I have been practicing dancing since I was a child. My butt is erect and straight, and there is no fat. I have been thinking about what looks good about women's butts, why so many people like it.
But I found that the person behind me couldn't put down his buttocks seemed to have made me understand this a lot more profoundly
I'm thinking about something!
At this time, I still think about these messy things, so I quickly regain my mind
And at this moment, the rear closure began to slowly move towards the middle of the buttocks!
Who is it?
What does this person want to do? My heart suddenly rose to my throat. In this state, I can't complete the basic thinking at all.
And because the weather was hot that day, the pants I wore were made of very thin linen material. I knew that through the pants, the pervert behind could also clearly feel the touch of my buttocks.
My hips clearly felt that the man's two fingers had moved to the middle of my hips, oh no! Does he want it!
I seemed to have guessed what he wanted to do. I was too nervous, and my hip flap began to shrink desperately. My hip muscles were very strong. I felt that his fingers seemed to be difficult to make a breakthrough under my desperate defense.
But the person behind seemed to be sure that I didn't dare to shout loudly, and didn't give up at all, and kept increasing my efforts.
We had been in a stalemate for a long time, and I felt that the air around me had frozen, and all my energy was focused on the competition with the person behind me.
Slowly my legs began to tremble, and I could hardly hold on
The hand behind seemed to have noticed it and began to attack little by little
Oh my God, I can't do this!
My heart began to be scared
Just as my will began to loosen, I suddenly stretched out a hand under my left armpit and grabbed my chest like lightning
Ah!
The direction of things was completely beyond my expectations, how could I do this!
My hip muscles couldn't hold on and completely relaxed at this moment
puff!
Those two fingers hit my anus well. At that moment, I felt as if I was shocked, and my whole body began to shake wildly as if I was constantly using it.
The man didn't seem to think of my performance, and hesitated for a moment, but he paused for a moment and started to get up and down again.
At this moment, I had given up resisting under the play of the people behind me. I only remember that my heart was beating wildly at that time, and my face began to get hot and hot. I think to others, my face must be red.
My breathing is no longer stable. Oh my God, I have been very calm since I was a child. Even if I make mistakes in the dance competition, I can always keep my inner peace. Why did I lose my composure this time? It's so shameful. I really want to find a crack to drill down.
But the numbness from the center of my hips and chest kept reminding me of the invasion I was suffering, and the clear feeling felt on my body continued to expand, spreading through the other person's fingertips, wandering in my body. Gradually, the sound around me became smaller and quieter, as if time had stopped, and the whole world was left with me and the two hands rubbing my chest and holding my anus.
Time passed so long, I remember I endured it desperately, as if I had used all my strength, my legs began to slowly become weak, my hands began to tremble, my brain was blank, and my scalp was numb. I had never experienced this feeling before
Later I realized that the feeling at that time was the so-called extreme pleasure, and I didn't realize it at that time
What a shame!
How could I have this idea? I really want to find a crack in the ground to get into it.
Because of shame and anger, I kept lowering my head and not looking back at what the sheriff looked like when the man who violated me was. I was really afraid of what would happen after looking at me.
Time passed by minute by minute, and the hand that touched my anus also began to move its position, and the target was the uninformed virgin land located further ahead.
no!
This was the first consciousness in my mind at that time. The chastity I had always maintained at that time. How could I let a man who didn't know what Zhang looked like to touch.
I tried hard to clamp my legs, but my body was not strong enough to be obedient, and my legs were soft and weak and could not clamp them at all.
Big girl, stop clamping it hard. I have never seen a girl as good as yours. I couldn't help it. Don't blame me for letting go of my legs and letting me touch it. It won't be so good.
Suddenly the man behind him leaned close to my ear and whispered, his voice was rustic and had a strong smell of garlic. It was very pungent and mixed with the sour smell of sweat that came out of his body early in the morning. Until now, I can still clearly remember the smell.
The hand had already broken through my tight legs and touched my lower body when I was lost.
As soon as my hands touched the lower body, they began to rub and tease. Oh my God!
How could it feel so much? The pleasure that had already retreated came again, and it was even more fierce than the previous few times. Even if I could no longer resist it
What this feeling is, I have never felt it before, just like my body is constantly expanding, my whole body is numb and I can't exert any strength. Suddenly, my feet are cushioning, and an unprecedented numbness and pleasure is coming from my whole body. This person is about to fly up.
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
A warm current suddenly burst out from my lower body. At that time, I could no longer see anything in front of me. I could only feel that I could fly to the clouds and experience the only feeling I had before
It's funny to think about it now. My first orgasm actually happened in this situation.
Just as my climax ended, the siren started to ring on my left. It seemed that the police rushed over to maintain order.
People around them also quickly realized that it was the police who came to evacuate the crowd.
The crowd around me saw the police and the urban management brigade coming, and they all understood what was going on and began to disperse.
I, who had just recovered from the afterglow of the climax, can finally look back at the person behind me.
To be honest, I was really nervous at that time. Although I was very scared, my head still couldn't help but go back. It was this time that my quick glance completely changed my future life trajectory.
I stared at the person behind me, and that person was also looking at me. How can I describe his appearance?
He is quite short, and I can't remember much light clothes. He only knows it's very worn, just like the dress of many migrant workers working on construction sites, looking rustic in the country
The hair is quite long, scattered, and there is a lot of oil on it
But I still remember his appearance clearly. His eyes are very small, with a big nose, and it was red on it. Later I realized that it was called a garlic nose.
The lips are very dark and thick, I remember that my face is also very big, and there are thick stubbles
My face is also dark, and it seems that I haven't washed it for a long time
I still remember when he saw me turning around. I remember when he saw my face, he suddenly became stunned and stared at me. In the end, I don’t know if it was my illusion. He seemed to have glanced at my chest and butt. At that time, I was so embarrassed that I wanted to find a crack to get into it when I thought about my unsatisfactory appearance just now.
What impressed me the most was his last grin and hey, his teeth were dirty and yellow, which reminded me of the stinking smell that came from behind when he violated me.
But what I felt just now is!
oops!
What am I thinking, when is it? Why do I still think about these things after being violated? I really couldn't calm down at that time.
The person on the other side kept staring at me. I guess he couldn't know what I was thinking. Maybe he thought I wanted to think about seeing his face and calling the police.
So before I could react, he took a few steps back and then disappeared from the crowd, leaving me alone and standing in the spot in a daze
The crowd was finally evacuated, and what's ridiculous is that I, who was joining in the fun in the past, still don't know what happened in the crowd today
I didn't even know how I returned to the hotel. Later, one of my senior sisters told me that when I went back that day, I was in a daze, as if I had lost my soul. They didn't know what happened, they just knew how to ask me and didn't say anything. Later, they didn't continue asking questions.
The next day we embarked on the return journey, and my condition improved a lot, as if nothing had happened
I remember after I returned to school, the principal organized a special praise meeting in the school. After that, I became a celebrity in the school. Many boys gave me things to confess, but I refused them all. I clearly knew that this had no meaning to me.
I thought that what happened that night was just a not-so-good episode in my life and would slowly fade away with the passage of time, but later I found that this was not the case.
Since I returned to school, I often suddenly became dazed and felt depressed and dazed. This has never happened before, and even affected my studies and dance practices for a while. Fortunately, I forced myself to review and train more seriously and not be affected too much.
What I couldn't understand most was that the memory of that night not only did not weaken with time but became deeper in my heart.
I can't remember how many nights I'd dream of that short man with yellow teeth and vulgar appearance, standing in front of me and joyfully laughing at me
What I can't accept is that every time I wake up from such a dream, I find my underwear wet
Of course I know what happened, but how is this possible? I actually dreamed of fantasizing about such a vulgar and vulgar man
Am I crazy?
Impossible, how could I feel about such a man? I really can't accept this fact in my heart
Obviously, so many male classmates of the same age in the school don’t feel it. What’s wrong with me? Am I a pervert?
No, this is just an illusion, it cannot be true. I remember that during the Chinese New Year in high school, I forced myself to comfort myself like this every day.
Time flies fast, I still remember that the scores I scored in the college entrance examination were very ideal. As I said before, the cultural courses I admitted were the first in the school now, and dance is like a part of my life for me. I, who have won numerous awards, have naturally been recognized by the examination judges, and have also entered the Central Dance Academy with the best results.
It was nearly three years since that night. During these three years, I kept thinking about various ways to get rid of the memories of that night and the appearance of that man, but memories are becoming more and more difficult to get rid of like a cervix.
He often appears in my dreams, and sometimes his appearance suddenly appears in my mind during the day. What bothers me the most is that every time I think of that man, my lower body will react. It feels very strange, just like I hope something comes in, oh!
Can't continue talking, when did I become like this? It's really lewd
And every time I think of this man, my heart will accelerate, my breathing will become rapid, and my face will get hot, just like the way that night the man violated me.
I still remember one time when my deskmate discovered it. She thought I was sick and wanted to take me to the doctor. It really made me angry and funny, and it also had a hint of shame.
In short, all the inner struggle will never stop accompanied by the three years of high school.
Since I went to college, maybe my studies have not been so heavy, maybe it was some other reason. I have slowly begun to figure out this thing that has troubled me for several years.
But I thought I would slowly forget him, but the opposite was true. I actually thought about him more and more, and even became a part of my in life. I also began to enjoy this feeling, and I could even say that I was slowly fascinated by the short figure that violated me.
At this time, I gradually realized that maybe this is the real me, maybe I am really such a crazy woman
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