Chapter 5 Talk and Decision

When I arrived at the company, I was nearly an hour late, and my colleagues felt a little incredible. After all, I didn’t have any records of being late at once before, so this time it was considered a break.

My husband and I fought yesterday. It has been nearly ten years since we met. We have never had a big fight like yesterday. We originally thought of how to adjust the gap between me and my husband, but we didn't expect that before we could do it, our relationship would have a bigger problem.

I don’t know why I got so angry yesterday, and pointed the finger at my husband. I admit that the reason for the incident yesterday was caused by me, but I was on the fire at that time and had no brains at all. But my husband shouldn’t say that, what do you mean to find a man who can satisfy me?

This really sad for me. After all, we are husband and wife, loving couple. How could he say that?

I admit that I like sex very much, and I can even say that I can't live without it. I don't know why I am like this, but I just can't control my body. I don't know why I want to go that way.

But if you like it, I am not a lewd woman. Although I need it very much, it is not necessary.

Although my husband's current body can no longer satisfy me, I am not a woman who will go out to fool for my own enjoyment. I love my husband very much, and I am very loyal to him.

We have always known each other very well, but at first yesterday I thought my husband had changed his mind?

Think he doesn't love me anymore?

Although I took the matter up and I said something very embarrassing to the man, he should know that I was angry and shouldn't be true, but he would actually say something hurtful. Until last night and what happened this morning, I think I finally understood what my husband thought

It's just that this idea really makes me unable to believe it. I feel ashamed and angry about this idea.

I returned to the bedroom after a quarrel yesterday and cried in bed for a long time, but there was no movement there. This made me feel very desperate and I was so angry that I didn't think about it. I put aside the chaotic thoughts in my heart, turned on the computer and prepared to finish the remaining work. Because this document will be used tomorrow, I must make it out today.

However, what surprised me was that when the computer entered the desktop, I actually found a folder called "Hbk" on the desktop. I knew very well that when I left in the morning, there was definitely not a folder. My husband must have made it.

BOOK, of course I know what it means, it's just HBOOK, I'm not very clear about it. When I was curious about this word, I opened the folder and found that it was just a document novel. I didn't think about anything at all, but I just instinctively opened it casually.

However, the content inside scared me because it turned out to be a pornographic novel, and it was a novel about a wife. But I was not in the mood at the time and closed it.

The workload was not very large. I finished it in less than an hour. Then I was about to send it to Director Liu's email. However, when I opened the browser, several web pages suddenly popped up. After the buffering, these web pages were presented to me, which were all pornographic novels. One of them was the name "The Wife of the Gangmaster Goes to Have an Affair" attracted my attention.

I can't imagine how my husband was so perverted, how could he read such a novel? This made me angry. Although it was a novel, I was his wife after all. How could he be so perverted? Read such a novel

But for some reason, I didn't close it, and I actually looked at it carefully

After reading it, I felt incredible about the content written in it, thinking how could such a person be there?

This is really perverted, and there is also a husband who will help his wife have an affair!

Before I knew it, I read the remaining few novels, but after reading these novels, I did not feel the heat and the feeling of need as usual, but suddenly I felt that I seemed to understand my husband's difficulties and his thoughts.

Several novels in it are very lewd. The male protagonist in it is very similar to the current situation of her husband. When the man in the article saw his wife having sex with another man, his body that was originally not good suddenly changed. It seemed to be an alternative treatment. Although I can't tell whether it is true or false, when I recalled the scene when I quarreled with my husband, I suddenly realized that I seemed to be trapped in a trap designed by my husband.

From newspapers to the words I said during the quarrel, every word, every sentence, my husband asked me to find other men, but I was extremely angry at that time, and I didn't expect my husband to set up a trap for me and wait for me to drill.

After reading these novels, I seemed to feel my husband's idea, but the price that this idea has to pay is his favorite wife, I

Originally, all this was just my guess, but what my husband said to me this morning made me more sure of it when I was about to go out.

Husband, I am your wife, your wife, your son’s mother, your woman, are you willing to let me be fucked by other men? Do you love me? I know you are in poor health, but you can’t use me as a bet to stimulate you? Have you ever thought about my feelings?

Whenever I think of my husband, my heart hurts so much

I can't agree with my husband's idea. I really can't do such a thing. It's not just about enjoying or not sex. It's a person's personality and a person's dignity.

I know that my husband still loves me, and I know that he will not fully believe what is said in the article. It can really be exciting. Everything he does is probably for me, so that I can enjoy the joy of fish and water.

Husband, do you know? Even if you can’t do it, I still love you. Have you forgotten that I said that my body will always belong to you. Don’t worry, now that medicine is so developed, we will definitely find a way! You will definitely get better!

At this time, I hated myself very much, and my body. Why do I have so many needs? It’s not that I have made up my mind, but as soon as I got to bed, those so-called determinations followed the reaction of my body and left them outside the nine heavenly clouds.

I just remembered my husband's physical reaction, but I don't know what to say. My husband is not impotence and cannot get an erection, but he is too premature ejaculation, and the hardness of the erection is not very hard. Since my husband found out that he was in poor health, he started taking some tonics. I have seen a doctor, but it has not been effective.

If my husband goes to a large hospital for a check-up, I may not agree. And with the recent times, I have found that my husband is becoming less and less confident. I really don’t know what to do. Oh, let’s talk about it when I go home. If it really doesn’t work, would I...ah!

Forget it, I left a letter on the computer, hoping my husband can see it

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In the early morning, my wife was too calm, and the calmness made me feel a little panicked. At this time, I found that I didn’t know my wife at all, and I didn’t know what she was thinking in her mind. How could it be so calm? Calmness made people feel a little scared!

If I guessed correctly, I will know the result tonight, which made me feel a little unsatisfied. Did I do something too much yesterday?

It would be great if I apologized. I was afraid that my wife would leave me. I didn't want to lose her. I just wanted her to be happy. Suddenly I felt that the path I chose was too extreme. I was afraid that my wife had been hurt by me to the extreme.

Before I knew it, I walked to the bedroom. I haven't slept here for two days. My heart was very complicated. Looking at the big bed made me feel even more regretful. I don't know if it can be saved.

I didn't know when I opened the computer, but suddenly I found that the folder I had disappeared yesterday, but there was an extra folder on it. The name of the folder actually read "Husband Start". I was very excited to see that it was left to me by my wife. I knew that it must be what my wife wanted to say to me, so I couldn't wait to open it and read it: Husband, I'm sorry, I was too much just now, I shouldn't say that, I hurt you just now just because I was angry and didn't pass through my brain. I hope you can forgive me!

However, you shouldn't say that I am your wife, your wife, the lover who lives with you, I love your husband, I remember I once said that my body will only belong to you in my life. How can you say that I will find another man like this?

You know, this sentence deeply hurts me and makes me so heartbroken!

I know that my sexual needs are much greater than that of ordinary women, but it is not a must. I am not a lewd woman. I only do that in front of you. I hope you can understand!

I have read the novels on the computer and the Internet. Although I am not sure about your thoughts, I can also guess some of them. This makes me very angry. Husband, I still want to say, I am your woman, not a slut who rides on someone. I can't agree with your thoughts. I hope you can understand them.

During this period, there was some gap between us, and our relationship became a little cold. I think you must have felt it. I don’t want to continue like this. I hope we will go back to our previous days.

Perhaps, because you are too tired during this period, your body is a little unable to keep up, and maybe you can just take a good rest, right?

I know that saying this may be a bit self-deception. Husband, don't be angry. I have no other intentions. I just want to say that I hope you can agree to go to the hospital to check. Of course, I am just suggesting that the right to adopt or not is in your hands.

I hope we will stop quarreling again in the future, and will be as good as before. I hope you can see this letter. All the words in the letter are what I want to tell you. I hope you understand that Feng Xuehan will always be your wife, and I will love you forever! This day is enough for us to calm down. Can we have a good talk tonight?

After reading my wife's letter, I was both happy, lost and guilty, but it was very complicated.

I am happy because of the heartfelt words my wife said to me. I am disappointed because my wife has guessed my thoughts, but she refused. I am guilty because I could say that. This is undoubtedly for myself, and I pushed my beloved wife into the abyss. In short, my mood is very complicated and I can't say anything.

I sat by the computer for a long time, I didn't know what it was.

Time is fast, and it's afternoon in a blink of an eye. I did nothing on this day except for a movie about my wife.

I feel perverted and shameless about the suggestions I make, but I can't control myself, because I will feel extremely excited and exciting, because then my brother will raise his proud head.

After the meal was ready, the time was almost over. I sat at the dining table and waited nervously for my wife to go home.

But unexpectedly, my wife sent me a message saying that if you have something to do, you will come back later

As time goes by, my nervous mood finally calms down

It was not until after 8 o'clock in the evening that my wife came back. At the moment she entered the door, we were all very calm, and at the same time, we felt that each other was a little cold. No one spoke, and no one knew what to say.

Because my wife had eaten outside, we sat quietly on the sofa and looked at each other face to face, but no one spoke.

Finally, my wife said: Can we talk?

Um!

I was wrong about what happened yesterday, so I apologize to you first!

My wife said apologetically

No, actually, it was my fault that happened yesterday. I did it on purpose?

Including that news, novels on the computer, and what you said in the morning?

Um!

I fell to my head in shame

I don't understand how you can have such dirty thoughts. I am your wife. Do your wife understand? Why...

After my wife confirmed my thoughts, her tone became excited. I knew she was angry with me. How could I have such dirty thoughts about my wife?

When I recalled what I did, I found that I had always been in those dirty things. Seeing that my wife became more and more excited, I quickly said: Xuehan, don’t be angry and listen to me!

My wife also seemed to realize her excitement, took a few deep breaths and said: Tell me!

Seeing my wife calm down, after thinking for a while, I said in shame: Since half a year ago, I have not known any problems in my body. I have become less like a man. And when I am with you..., I always feel powerless and can't satisfy you every time. I feel sorry for you.

Since I found out that my health was not good, I started to take some supplements or health foods, hoping that I could become back, but I spent a lot of money but it didn't work.

This made me feel more and more incompetent!

That day I came back from Mr. Zhang was the day we agreed to have a happy day, but I was very scared, afraid that you would be disappointed, afraid that you would resent me, so I deliberately came back very late that day, hoping that you would sleep well, and know that you were waiting for me! Speaking of this, I looked at my wife, and my wife seemed to be ashamed of her strong demand, avoiding my eyes, and I continued: I didn’t expect that I didn’t even do it that time, and even made you a mouthful. At night I... I found you under the quilt... I became more and more resentful to myself, resenting myself and my incompetence!

I closed my eyes and grabbed my hair hard. I felt desperate about my incompetence.

Husband, don’t do this. Actually, it was not right that day. I knew you didn’t sleep well that day. I did it on purpose just to complain!

My wife held my hand and her voice became a little crying

I shook my head and said: Later we all started to be busy. Until the audition for our new film, I found that I was very excited and hard again when I was in the bathroom. I thought I was ready and wanted to give you a surprise, but I didn't expect that I would give you such a surprise.

Later, I became more and more resentful of myself. After thinking for a long time, I realized that I was like a man in such a perverted situation. This discovery made me not know what to do. After all, you are my wife and the person I love the most. I shouldn’t have that kind of idea at all, but I made such a dirty decision in order to get better! After hearing me, my wife smiled bitterly and said: Husband, I know you love me, I know what you said just now is actually for me, I hope I can be happy! I don’t know why my sexual desire is so strong, but I really can’t accept your idea. I really can’t do those things with a strange man!

When I heard my wife's words, I didn't know if it was happy or lost. My wife undoubtedly rejected me. I was happy because my wife was alone. But my wife refused my proposal. Will my wife be happy?

Will I still be a man?

Can couples without sex go to the end?

We are still young after all, and the days ahead are still long

I didn't know what to say, but I heard from my wife: Husband, I am not a prostitute, I am your wife, your wife is the wife you married by the matchmaker, I am you alone, let's not mention these things in the future, okay?

I nodded silently and didn't say anything

It seemed that suddenly we had nothing to say again, and we became quiet again. After a long time, my wife suddenly said: Husband!

Hum? You said!

Can we go to the hospital for examination?

My wife looked at me with a pleading look

I don’t know how to answer her, is it useful to go to the hospital?

Since I discovered my problem, I have secretly gone to the hospital for examination several times, but no problems have been found. If I don’t check it, will my wife be very disappointed?

Let's talk about it, okay?

I looked at my wife and suggested, but found that after my wife heard my words, a loss flashed in her eyes, which made my heart tugged. She didn't care about being embarrassed and told my wife about what she had been to the hospital.

After hearing this, my wife's eyes flashed with a loss again, and she lowered her head and said nothing.

I have seen that kind of loss countless times. It was a disappointment with a man, which made me feel even more inferior.

Xuehan!

Um!

I took a deep breath and bravely told my wife the final solution: Let's get divorced!

After hearing my words, my wife trembled. She suddenly raised her head and stared at me with wide eyes. She couldn't believe that I would say such heartless words. Two lines of crystal clear tears flowed down the corners of her eyes. Looking at her, I also felt like I wanted to cry, avoiding her tears.

Suddenly she threw herself into my arms and cried: No, I don’t want divorce, husband, do you want me anymore? Don’t you love me anymore? No, I know you still love me. You said this just scared me, right? Husband, I believe you, you will definitely get better, right!

You believe me, but I can’t believe in myself! I really don’t have any confidence anymore!

I cried while holding my wife.

Husband, I believe, I believe you can do it. You are just not confident now, but your mentality is not good. We can go on a trip and relax. If it really doesn't work, we can find a psychological counselor to teach you. You will soon find a confidence, right? Also, even if you really can't do it, I won't divorce you. I don't want that thing anymore. I don't want you to leave me. Don't divorce me, okay, husband, even for Xiaofeng, is he okay? He is still young now, so we can't let him...

Seeing that my wife was so bitter that she was a little out of breath, I really couldn't bear it, so I patted her back and said: I promise you that we won't divorce, we will take care of Xiaofeng together!

After hearing my words, my wife finally felt relieved and hid in my arms, crying and laughing. I hugged her head tightly in my arms, with an incomparable contradiction in my heart.

Finally, my wife burst into tears and relaxed. She first asked me to promise that I would never mention divorce in the future. Then she began to discuss physical problems with me. After discussing for a long time, she finally decided to find a psychological counselor to guide her to see if she could regain her confidence and give up her inferiority.

But my wife finally sighed with such words, which made me excited and excited again: Husband, as long as you can be well, I am willing to do anything for you!

But I found that there was no change on her face, and I thought maybe I was worried, maybe she just said it happily