Chapter 1 Yuan Yuan: Dad is a good person, it’s too unfair.

As soon as I opened the car door, the low and solemn music immediately poured into my ears.

My legs couldn't help trembling as my shoes hit the ground.

For a moment, I had to lean on the car for support.

Since I woke up in the morning, I had no energy at all and felt like I was struggling every moment.

However, now is not the time to collapse. I secretly encourage myself, gritted my teeth and stood up straight, closed the car door, and spent some time to stand firm.

A cool breeze rolled in thick dark clouds, and the sun was completely blocked.I held back my tears and took a deep breath, looking up at the sky above my head.Is God sad with me too?

It seems like there is really God in this world, and I can't help but be angry.

More than once, I asked loudly in my heart: Why did you take your father away from me?

What did I do to be punished like this?

A low rumbling sound came from the clouds in the distance. Is this answering me?

What is this answer?

I silently looked at the sky to protest.

These questions are meaningless, but anger can help me prevent me from being swallowed by sadness.

Dad shouldn't die!Dad is a good person, it's too unfair.

Stop being slow, go quickly!Mom urged.

I numbly withdrew my gaze and followed my mother through the parking lot.

Another strong wind blew, and the hem of the black dress rose, and the skin was covered with goose bumps.

My mother had to slow down, tidy up her dress, and took out the makeup mirror from her handbag to examine her outfit and hair accessories again.

I told my mom that she looked good and the shower gel and perfume were of high quality, almost covering up the smell of alcohol on her body.

Since my father got sick, my mother's pressure has suddenly increased, and the way she deals with the pressure is alcohol.

In my memory, my parents' relationship has always been dull and they are busy with work.

The three of us rarely have family gatherings, and we travel only a handful of times during winter and summer vacations.

My relationship with my father is closer than my mother.

Maybe it’s because the one who is absent during the growth process is always the mother.

Before going to bed, it was my father who accompanied me to do my homework, and it was my father who attended the parent-teacher meeting.

When my mother and I had an argument, my father was still the one who stood up to protect me.

In front, people walked up the steps of the auditorium one after another, and the funeral lady in black work clothes wore white flowers or black veils for the guests at the door.

Anxiety is tense in my heart, and I don’t know most people.

Even from this far away, I can see the pity in their eyes and hear their empty mourning.

My legs trembled like sieve as we entered the auditorium.

The crowd inside quieted down, and a few strangers walked forward to greet my mother and me.

All of them showed sad expressions on their faces, comforting us to be mournful and follow the changes.

Someone held my hand and told me that they were very sad. They praised their father for being so young and outstanding, but they were jealous of the heroic people who passed away too early.

I followed my mother and approached the front of the auditorium.It seemed like a rope was tied around my neck, and the more I went forward, the harder I could breathe. Just as I felt like I was about to suffocate, I saw the coffin.

Oh, dad!

He was there, lying in front of me, so relaxed and calm, with a faint red face.

Although he knew it was the makeup artist's credit, his father looked sick and really felt like he was asleep.

I approached the coffin, and my legs would turn into a pool of mud at any time.

Fortunately, the staff next to me was quick-witted and held me in a hurry, which prevented me from sagging in front of my father's coffin.

Dad is gone, he will never be able to open his eyes and will never come back.

I couldn't help but sobbed, my shoulders trembling violently.

Somewhere deep in my mind, I told myself that I shouldn’t lose my composure in public.

Mom can, but I can't.

I want to go home, curl up in my father’s favorite chair and smell his tobacco.

If I could, I would lie there for days, talking to him and recalling all the good times.

During the brief greetings from the host and mom, I knew he was a professional in the Propaganda Department of Dad’s Police Force.

Police have always been a high-risk profession, and presiding memorial services is also part of the work.

The next process is like a marionette, listening to the host's instructions, I first stood in my seat.

On the left is my father's leader and colleagues, my mother and I are standing on the right, and there are many friends and guests on our side.

Then the host read the obituary, performed silent tribute, played mourning songs, and bowed.

A police force leader told his father's death and work contributions, and then everyone bid farewell to the body.

The formal part of the memorial service came to an end, but most of the guests chose to stay and gather together to talk in groups of three or three.

Everyone would wait for their opportunity, walk to my mother and me, shake hands and hug me to express their condolences.

It's hard, especially when they mention how good the dad is.

There were a few times when I almost whimpered, but I hated being so vulnerable in front of strangers.

I left my mother a few meters away to let myself take a breath.

Yuan Yuan, a familiar voice came into my ears.

I turned around and saw two friends walking towards me.Yao Shan and Tong Man were both wearing black silk dresses, with long hair tied into a straight bun, and a soft smile on their faces.

Yao Shan and I were in the same junior high school and were not very familiar with each other at that time. Later, we were the two of us in the whole grade and were assigned to Huide High School and were divided into the same class, so we were much closer.

Tong Man was a meeting after I went to high school, not only sleeping together but also at the same desk.

She has poor grades, but her personality is very sweet. I am always happy to help her when I am studying.

I feel relieved.Among the hundreds of people in the auditorium, they should be the ones I am most happy to see.

Hi!Thank you for coming here to see me!I hoped to smile at them, but my cheeks refused to cooperate. Not only that, tears could not help but accumulate in my eyes.

Hey, Yuan Yuan, Yao Shan opened her arms and gave me a hug.

When I just said I would still hug Tong Man, she turned around and shouted: Be careful, my hair!It cost 200 yuan to make it!

I scoffed at her little joke and said: Don’t worry, you are so beautiful!

Although they felt bad, the three of them couldn't help but laugh, and they each grabbed my hand and held it hard.

I stopped my smile, couldn't help but feel a sore nose, and whispered gratefully: I'm so happy to see you here.

From my father's illness to his death, I have received a lot of news from my classmates, expressing concern and sympathy without exception.

The school teacher is also very good, and the grade leader Zhao Huiling and the class teacher also went to the hospital to see their father.

Most people type in the WeChat group, and some people will ask for comfort while I was in school.

Only Yao Shan and Tong Man came to the house to see me in person, took me to eat, or relax and chat with me.

The only two of them were taking leave from school to attend their father's memorial service.

Of course we will come!Their eyes were filled with sympathy.

I held back my tears, but eventually failed.Tears flowed down from my face like a waterfall, and I couldn't stop them.

It's so... so uncomfortable that this happened to you!Yao Shan hugged me and said: Last time I saw Uncle Yuan was so energetic. When I went to play with you, he bought us blueberry iced coffee!

I even felt it was difficult to speak, and it took me a long time to find the voice: He was still talking to me yesterday, but he left today.

Tong Man nodded solemnly, "Isn't that true? I still can't believe it."

I felt very uncomfortable. I hoped that it would be great if I could go back to the past for 110,000 times.

I angrily wiped away the unpleasant tears with the back of my hand and said: I don't understand, I think cancer takes time and requires some signs.Isn't it like this when you are sick?

Yao Shan put one arm around my shoulder, took the tissue on her hand to wipe away the tears that gushed out of my eyes, and said: I don’t know what to say, Yuan Yuan, except... these things happen sometimes.

But why has to happen to my dad?I want to scream out.This is unfair!

If it can make you feel better, at least you know that Uncle Yuan loves you very much and watches you grow up by your side.I believe no matter where he is now, he will still love you!...I'm different, right!Yao Shan comforted me and did not forget to tease herself.

My heart felt warm.

Yao Shan is a rare friend. Her parents divorced when she was five years old, and her father has never heard of him ever since.

Yao Shan is easy-going and quiet, and she can't see any impact on her father's absence.

Until last year on Father's Day, the three of us were in the school cafeteria, eating while chatting about gossip among classmates.

No one mentioned Father's Day, but Yao Shan suddenly said without hesitation: Whether a man marrying the wrong woman, whether he is angry or regretful, he will not even hate his children!Just ignore my wife, but what's wrong with me?

Compared with Yao Shan, I am indeed lucky!

Thank you, I simply said, swallowing the big lump in my throat.

Tong Man patted me on the back, then opened her eyes and looked at me carefully.

You have to take good care of yourself. It’s not a few days before I saw you last time, why do you feel like you have lost weight again?She paused and added: I mean...sorry...why is this completely wrong? Ah!

I immediately dispelled her worries, it was okay, since I heard the news, I didn't eat much.Later, the doctor said that the treatment was not effective, so I ate even less.Eating and mood are too much, do you know?

After my father was admitted to the hospital for treatment, my days at school were intermittent.

Not only taking care of my father, but the one who gave me the most headache was my mother.

Even though she looks like a strong woman in the company, she obviously can't cope with the fact that her father is already at the end of his terminal illness.

The worst thing is that her habit of drinking is getting worse and worse, and her temper is getting worse and worse, and her hostility towards me is getting deeper and deeper.

Speaking of which, I don’t remember when the two of them sat down quietly and had a meal calmly.

Tong Man nodded, his eyes flashed, and said: We will come to you when the school holidays come.We can go to the shopping mall together. I heard that there is a new Brazilian barbecue there, which is very delicious.I'm sure we'll like it!It's my turn to do this meal!

The word 'being' is naturally associated with money and has also caused me a new round of concerns.

I have a full scholarship at school. Although tuition and accommodation are included, I still have expenses.

I am not a person who pays special attention to food and clothing, but from changing seasonal clothes and shoes to pencil erasers, shampoos, sanitary tampons, and gatherings between classmates and friends, all of which require money to solve.

As far as I know, there is no financial burden at home.

The house was left to my father by my grandparents, and there was no mortgage.

My parents’ car was also bought in cash, although I don’t know how my mother would deal with my father’s car.

I've never been worried about these before, and my dad always recharges on my phone regularly.

Now that my father is gone, my mother lives by drinking, and her attitude towards me is getting worse day by day, which is really not a good sign.

I know that my father will have a considerable amount of pension to his family after he passed away. Will my mother make things difficult for me for spending money?

My heart is twisted by pain and I shouldn't worry about money at this time.

But it's in my mind, and I feel guilty when I think about it.

Hi Yuan Yuan, you know, if you need help, you can tell us any help!Yao Shan also quickly agreed.

I guess my frowning look must have scared her, as if I was afraid that I would collapse because of bad news.

Of course, it will definitely get better. I said absent-mindedly: Is the school okay?As soon as this ends, I will go back. I guess a lot of courses and exercises will be made up.

Tong Man puffed up her cheeks and said: That momentum is the tide of Qiantang River, but you don’t have to worry at all. With your intelligence, you can get it done in two or three strokes!You are always the best.

I smiled bitterly, shook my head and didn't answer.

I always share good results with my dad as soon as possible when I achieved good results.

Now, who cares about my studies?

Mom?

From the time my father was sick to death, the family was in chaos.

My mother was just burying her head in her wine bottle, almost ignoring me, let alone caring about my studies.

Tears burned my eyes, I had to push away my memory, I was so fucking annoyed that I was so annoyed that I burst into tears.

Listen, Yuan Yuan, I know that losing your father is a terrible nightmare for you, and it is a nightmare that you can’t wake up.Yao Shan hugged me and said softly: It may be a bit cold-blooded to say these things now, but you must not use self-giving to deal with your father's death.I'm sure Uncle Yuan would never want you to be depressed by this matter. Do you understand me?

I stared at Yao Shan's face. The first time I saw her so earnest and tempted, shouldn't this be my mother doing?It's really funny to say it from your close friend now.

I giggled, yes, you're right.

The dry laughter was not a slight smile, but it still aroused the curiosity of some people around.

Some people looked at me sympathetically, and they must think that my smile was hysterical in the pain of losing my father.

I quickly stopped laughing, frowned again, and tears flowed down my face.

Damn, I'm really a little hysterical!

Yao Shan turned her body sideways and blocked most of the guests' sight.Tong Man handed me a tissue in time, and I used it with gratitude to wipe away the tears on my face.

How are you?Yao Shan asked, her eyes full of concern.

I was angry with myself, and I wiped my nose hard.

Yao Shan frowned, for what?

I promised myself that I wouldn't collapse.

Come on, you are his daughter!Tong Man rolled her eyes.

I rolled my eyes at her, too, but I have to admit, I do feel better.

I waited until I calmed down and dared to scan the hall.

Many people showed friendly kindness to my collapse, and a few tight smiles and waves.

I know everyone is glad that this has not happened to them.

My breathing was stuck in my throat again. I was about to turn around to face Yao Shan and Tong Man when I suddenly noticed a man standing far away, staring at me.

I don't know that person.

His skin is a little dark, square face, his hair is slightly longer than everyone else, and his look is messy.

The gray shirt is paired with a pair of black khakis and looks restrained and harsh.

He seemed to be evaluating me, looking up and down with an unsettling gaze.

I suddenly felt uncomfortable with my appearance. I was sure that I cried and laughed for a while, and I must have looked a mess.

I avoided his gaze and couldn't help but glance at him secretly.

He was still staring at me, very bold and almost rude.

who is he?