Chapter 72

There is not much to say about those days...

The beauty of Alishan is hazy.

Standing in the woods and seeing the age of these endless trees with your own eyes, I will understand the shortness of my life.

When the morning sun rose from the side of Yushan, it brought a new beginning to this land, I remembered again the behavior that broke my heart last night and hurt Wenwen because of immaturity.

There was a time in the past when facing my own sister Wenwen, I tried to tell whether it was love or desire in my heart?

I gradually realized that this is something that is difficult to distinguish, or it is impossible to distinguish at all.

After all, men are animals of desire and animals that long to be loved...

I kept asking myself, over and over again, day after day, year after year, why is this society opposed to letting people with blood ties be together?

In the ancient Egyptian Kingdom, intermarriage between brothers and sisters was not a taboo; giving birth to the next generation is a natural way to pass on life.

Is it because modern eugenics warns that they are afraid of giving birth to a next generation with problems?

So if in a few decades, or even hundreds of years, the human genes are fully decoded and science can control everything, is this still an immoral sin?

We have not hurt anyone, we have not endangered this society, we have not tried to change the world, but we will never see the sunshine just because we are brothers and sisters...

In the past many years, I have always been standing behind Wenwen and smelling the faint fragrance she radiates. From my shoulders, from my neck, from my hair, and from my whole body, I always have the urge to hug her tightly.

But I can't...

Because I know this is a call full of sin,

This is the endless embrace of the fire of hell...

Do you believe in fortune telling?

Western astrology and China's Ziwei Doushu are essentially the same. Through the birth time, we can predict a person's lifelong fortune and actions.

Usually, if you believe in fortune telling, you will believe in fatalism, you will believe in the destiny of fate, and you will believe in the invariable trajectory of time...

"In time and space, everything is in vain.』

Einstein said this, perhaps it is because of this that he can endure unimaginable pain and face the last pain of his life calmly.

Jesus said, "Peter, I tell you that the chicken has not crowed yet, and you will say three times that you don't recognize me."』

It is precisely because Jesus is a destinyist that He chose to stand on the cross to bear these many sins for the people of the world.

But has He suffered so many sins for me?

I believe not, because I have been in such pain, because I am His eternal sinner, and I am not qualified to be forgiven…

Therefore, I always believe that God exists...

The Bible says: "God does not listen to sinners, but God listens to him only those who respect God and do His will." 』

But I believe more that He is not a God of any religion and does not look like a specific person, but He will always be there to protect all the peoples of the world until the last day.

I believe in God, and on many cold nights, I can only lie in the quilt, cry helplessly, and cry out in His name with my soul.

I am so scared, afraid of this world, afraid of the unknown future, afraid of everything I cannot accept, so I can only choose to change all of this, seek the door of heaven in purgatory, and only to allow Wenwen to enter the glory of heaven...

Because she will always be my only goddess...

"The goddess of joy is holy and beautiful, and all kinds of light shine on the earth.All spirits are full of passion and enter the country with sincerity.The power of the divine can bring the world back together.All spirits carry supreme majesty, and all kinds of sufferings become past.Who can give loyalty and faith and follow the commands of the gods.We will be protected by loving love and the kingdoms of the gods will come to gather.All living beings share joy in this beautiful country.Everyone will come to worship and worship the loving gods.Come to the kingdom and seek Him, He is in the holy kingdom…』

Even if fate always comes to knock on the door cruelly, even if you have unimaginable pain throughout your life, Beethoven has always been immortal with this song and has been eternal liberation in the music of the Ode to Joy.

But what about me?

Maybe only Wenwen can save me...

Wenwen would still hold my hand intimately those two days, but no matter what I said, she just ignored her and responded casually, which made me regret and sad.

Then, she was finally willing to forgive me, just like countless times in the past, to save me again...

I was really angry, but... Wenwen smiled brightly. After all, my brother is the only person I can rely on...

Have you ever loved someone so deeply?

Are you willing to live for the other party, die for the other party, be willing to endure countless tortures for the other party, and be willing to step into hell to refine fire?

I have entered hell, and I believe that in the true purgatory, there are no evil people, only my lonely self.

When God no longer gives any light from heaven and even the demons are unwilling to torture you, this is the real hell...

After ending a short honeymoon with Wenwen, I tasted all the sweet, sour, bitter and spicy tastes, and when I returned to my home in Taipei, we were more like real couples, sleeping together every night.

I feel that life is an endless waltz, full of dazzling and stunning gorgeous scenery, and the illusion and unreality hidden behind it.

I am so strong and brave to face it, and I am always afraid of loneliness, so I must find the courage to persevere for myself.

I can't stand the days when I don't have my beloved sister's wife around me, so I have to be stronger than usual and let myself face everything bravely until the day when my fragile heart can no longer bear it.

Stong.In order to protect and have a lover forever, the protagonist of the novel in Lelu eventually turned into a bloodthirsty opera house monster. When this day comes, what will I become?

Lord Ah, I cry your name from the deepest part of Purgatory...

Because I attend night school at night, I usually go home after eleven o'clock.

One day after school, I was dragged by a group of classmates and asked to go to the night city area of ​​Yanping Road and Taipei Qiaotou in Taipei for midnight snacks.

Because of a friend's birthday, he usually treats people very well, and it is rare that he has a chance to get together. In addition, he is going to graduate and divide his family into different places, so he is happy to follow him.

The content was nothing, just the classmates gathered together, ordered some side dishes, and had a few bottles of Taiwanese beer, and started chatting and fucking.

I still remember hearing a few perverted friends swear by: "You must make a girlfriend before joining the army," or "You must lose a virgin before joining the army," which made me unable to help but smile...

I had no intention of mocking them, but just listened to them and always felt that I was a completely different person from them.

Young friends who are still from the generation of the year will always be full of wonderful fantasies about sex, and coupled with the hormonal explosion, it is easier to have such things in mind.

But after real experience, I quickly realized that the so-called sex is just that, so I no longer want to talk.

It's Ah, maybe you'll say we have experience, so that's why.

But to put it bluntly, having sex is really just like that, especially when the couple quarreled and wanted to take the opportunity to get to the bed and half-push the woman and forcefully forced her to do it. At that time, it was really more enjoyable to masturbate by herself.

If time could go back, I would rather not end my first time with Wenwen in the way that night's mistakes and regrets, and find an opportunity with her to spend it together to have a real bridal night...

But maybe, without that night, there would be no today. Who can know all this?

The happy time with friends is always very fast. I looked at my watch and it was almost two o'clock before I knew it. The boss was ready to close the stall, so I told my friends, and then everyone left together to end the happy dinner.

It was almost half past two when I entered the door and suddenly found that the lights in the living room were on.

As soon as I stepped in, I was surprised to see Wenwen lying on the sofa in the living room and sleeping heavily.

She must have waited for me until I fell asleep after 11 o'clock...

When I looked at her, I was so reluctant to part with her behavior and thought it was cute.

Her sleeping face is always full of peace and purity, which often makes me want to reach out and pinch my little face...

I walked over quietly, squatted in front of her, and gently pulled a few strands of hair draped over my cheeks.

Wenwen didn't react and was still asleep.

So I slowly leaned over and kissed her cheek, and she slowly opened her sleepy eyes.

Sleeping beauty, you will catch a cold when you sleep here.

……elder brother!Where did you go?!

Wenwen quickly sat upright on the sofa. Before her brain was fully awake, she began to interrogate my whereabouts first.

A group of us went to celebrate our friend’s birthday.

She looked through me and looked at the clock on the wall behind her.

I went home at half past two, why not call me first?

Because I thought you were asleep or were about to go to bed, I didn't plan to call you.

Do you know how worried I am?I always thought my brother suddenly had a car accident and some other reason, so I couldn't notify me!

Worrying that I will fall asleep even if I get into a car accident?

At that time, I almost joked to her, but fortunately I didn't, just kept silent, otherwise God would know what would happen.

Then, Wenwen should have smelled the smell of me or the smell of my words, so she put her nose closer to me, and then sniffed like a puppy: Are you drinking?!

As for dinner, I have a few beer...

Wenwen looked at me without saying a word, her expression was completely cold. After more than ten seconds, she walked into the corridor alone and wanted to go back to the room.

At that time, I suddenly felt something was rising in my heart and my spine was chilling. If I was unhappy, I really didn’t understand why she was unhappy?

If it is because she is coming back late, I have explained that I will have to wait for me in the living room.

If I came back so late, there was nothing I could do. The dinner would not have ended so soon.

Anyway, after I turned off the light in the living room, I followed her into her room obediently, watched her go to bed, and tightened her quilt to me and lay down to bed.

Since our honeymoon, we have been sleeping together like this, either in my room or in her room, so after I took off my school uniform, I wore a thin top and sports trousers that acted as pajamas, and then lifted the quilt and lay behind her.

Lie beside her and hugged her, Wenwen still didn't say anything.

Although I really wanted to say something to make her happy, it might be because of the alcohol effect, and the quilt was very warm, and I hugged Wenwen and warmed up her body, so I couldn't resist and quickly fell asleep...

The next morning, I was asleep and was awakened by Wenwen. When she heard that she was going to school, there were other things that she would say if she didn't spend money to buy things, and she felt that she was in a good mood again, so she held her fragrant quilt tightly and continued to sleep.

At night, I walked into my house after school and found that the lights in the whole room were dim. I thought Wenwen had gone back to her room to sleep, so I walked to her room, but the door was not closed and Wenwen was not there.

This is really the first time Wenwen didn't tell me where she was going, and she hasn't returned home yet at 11 o'clock in the evening.

I waited for another half an hour, but he still didn't come back at almost twelve o'clock.

I really wanted to go out to find her, but I didn't know where she was going, and I was afraid that if I went out, she was actually going to call me for help, so I didn't dare to go out.

But I also gradually thought that Wenwen was probably intentional, for what happened last night, in short, I was really worried and angry that night...

I suddenly thought, if she really wanted to anger me on purpose, it would be so late, where could she, a girl, go to sleep?

I can only think of her two former friends...

Opening the phone book on the desk in Wenwen's room, I quickly found the phone number of Wanru and Xuefeng's home, and dialed it at twelve o'clock. After all, Wenwen is my life, and the rest are the things that come next. If you have any questions, draw a number card and queue up slowly.

When the phone was connected, their parents were not very happy because my boy called their baby daughter at twelve o'clock, but I was anxious to explain to them, so I helped me wake them up forgivingly and transferred the phone to Wanru and Xuefeng.

Please, if Wenwen contacts you, please ask her to contact me immediately.I'm really worried that a girl won't go home so late.

Wanru said with great concern that if Wenwen had contacted her, she would definitely ask Wenwen to contact me; Xuefeng said coldly that she would tell Wenwen, as if she was ignoring her, and then hung up the phone.

But, in addition to this, Wanru, who was round and fat in her memory, also asked me with a smile: Are you quarreling with Wenwen?

She was like curious about other people's quarrels or couples.

Although I didn't feel happy to ask this at this critical moment, I simply answered no because I knew she had no malice.

I was really unhappy because I felt that Wenwen was unhappy and didn't tell me that she was deliberately doing this with me today.

She waited and waited for fear. She wanted to wait until one point before she went home, so she decided to call every number in Wenwen's phone book and ask. It was only after twelve to half past twelve, Wenwen opened the living room door and walked in.

When I saw her, I felt relieved first, and then asked her angrily: Wenwen, where are you going?!

Wenwen also guessed that I would have this reaction, so she took off her shoes and put them in the shoe cabinet in a calm manner. Then she slowly told me: I took the bus to Ximending to attend a classmate's reunion dinner, but I couldn't wait for the bus.

Why don’t you write a note, or make a phone call after school or something to notify me?You can also ask me to pick you up.

When people were sitting on the bus just now, where did they get the phone number?

Do you know how worried I am?!A girl is still outside so late. What if something happens?

Are you angry?She smiled, it was intentional, so that my brother would know how worried I was when I waited until two o'clock last night.

Wenwen really knows me and knows that only by letting me experience this anxious feeling personally once, can she reflect on it.

But this method is too...

I was about to say something, but the phone rang at this moment. It was ringing for a while. Wenwen and I were silent and didn't answer it, so it continued to ring again.

Finally, Wenwen couldn't help but run to answer the phone, and suddenly talked to the person on the phone a little surprised.

I only heard Wenwen say something about the primary school reunion, waiting for the bus, just as I explained to me just now, explaining why I came back so late, and then hang up the phone apologized.

Brother, did you call Xuefeng?

I was really surprised to hear Wenwen say that it was Xue Feng who called, because I thought she wouldn't care, but I didn't expect that I would call to ask.

I want her to contact me as soon as possible if there is any news about you.

Who else do you call me?

Wanru, that's it.

The phone rang again at this time, and Wenwen answered it. It was indeed Wanru's call. Wenwen also began to explain, apologize, and then hung up the phone.