Chapter 3 Self-deprecation

The relationship between women and men is very strange. If you don’t hold hands this time, you will feel distant next time. This time, you must go to bed next time, otherwise you will have inexplicable suspicion out of thin air. Of course, Wang Bin and I don’t have this problem. Maybe it’s because we just realized the stimulation of sex, so whenever we have the chance, we will have sex secretly in that teacher dormitory.

I can't remember how long it took me to start feeling the fun of that thing. Anyway, the first few months were psychological happiness far more than physical pleasure. By the time I fell in love with the feeling of being inserted, the summer vacation was already here as promised.

During the long summer vacation, my thoughts still lingered with me, but unlike in the past, this time I also experienced another kind of emptiness, which was the first time I clearly felt the need for a man in my body.

Wang Bin would call me during the day and say something that doesn’t hurt or itchy. He is actually a person with a lot of knowledge, but he just doesn’t say anything. In fact, I don’t have many requirements for this. Life is different from love movies after all, I can’t ask him to keep the words I love you every day like the male protagonist in the movie.

One day I told Wang Bin on the phone that I wanted to have sex with him. He seemed a little surprised. This was the first time I said this directly. This guy thought for a long time before answering me: Why don’t you solve it yourself?

Wang Bin's tentative words made me want to laugh, and I did laugh. He said a little embarrassedly on the phone: Boys will do this...

Of course I don’t know if boys are like this, but I know that both boys and girls can solve this physiological needs by themselves. Thinking about how I have never done it, I said to him half-jokingly: Then I will solve it myself, be careful not to need you in the future!

I put down the phone and searched through almost all the drawers at home and looked at all the stick-like items. But I still felt that it was a very disgusting thing to insert those things into my body, so I finally decided to use my hands.

To be honest, I was very nervous when I did this for the first time, and I felt a slight guilt, just like when I was sleeping with Wang Bin, I didn’t feel anything when I was in school, but when I got home, I felt a little guilty when I was facing my parents. It seemed like the feeling of lying after doing something wrong when I was a child, a little uneasy and a little scared

I returned to my room and closed the door, took off my clothes and lay on the bed, and turned my lower body to the mirror in the wardrobe. I had used a small mirror to see what I looked like underneath. It was not long after my first period, and I was too lazy to look at it again. I couldn't imagine why Wang Bin wanted to see what I looked like and what was good at it?

But I don't know what state the lower body will become when having sex. I moved the pillow behind me so that I could erect my upper body. When I spread my legs, I saw the two labia sticking softly together. I stretched out my fingers and pulled them to both sides and saw the pink flesh and small holes inside. I felt the warmth on my face.

Actually, I don’t have too strong desire now, and I think it’s more interesting psychologically. I gently rubbed my vagina with my right hand twice, and itched slightly, but when I inserted my middle finger into my vagina, the feeling disappeared, although some kind of liquid had been secreted from my body at this moment.

Maybe it's not enough strength?

I thrust twice quickly, but unfortunately I couldn't understand the feeling of sex, but my desire became clearer and clearer. I must admit that this feeling was really terrible. I suspect that if there was a man in front of me at this moment, I would pounce on him without hesitation and let him enter my body, no matter who that man was

As the movement accelerated, my wrists began to get sore, and my lower body still had a little numbness. I was too tired to bother to do it anymore. I pulled my fingers out of my vagina and looked at the transparent mucus on it, and I felt like a real fool.

Masturbation failed, it's funny, but I'm indeed like this, maybe this method is not suitable for me. I crossed my body on the bed, put the pillow back into normal position, and clamped the quilt with my legs. This is my usual way of sleeping, but today I didn't wear underwear like usual

Close your eyes and think about how I looked just now, I laughed again, and then I thought of Wang Bin and how we looked on the bed. I hugged his body, stroked his not-wide back, or held his head and kissed him.

Thinking of this, I subconsciously clamped my legs and moved gently. The quilt of the cotton cloth rubbed against my vagina. A rough friction feeling was unexpectedly comfortable. Although it could not completely eliminate my desire, it was at least much stronger than using my fingers just now.

I twisted around the bed with a quilt in my arms, enjoying the slight pleasure brought to me by the quilt rubbing my vagina, and then, I fell asleep at some point

When I woke up, I found the quilt covered my body. I turned my head and saw my mother. My heart immediately skipped a beat. Just when I didn’t know what to say, my mother had already spoken: I’m so embarrassed. Such a big girl doesn’t wear clothes when she sleeps, so I’m not ashamed?

I let out a long sigh of relief, but fortunately, I changed into a smile and said to my mother: It's too hot, but I'm at home anyway, so what's so shameful?

Seeing my shameless look, my mother also smiled: You are old, I don’t bother with you, hurry up and put on your clothes, your dad is waiting for us to have a meal

I nodded to look for clothes, but my mother asked again: Do you have a boyfriend?

I quickly shook my head like a rattle: No, if I have a boyfriend, how could I not report to you?

My mother looked at me and her expression became a little serious: If you have a boyfriend, you must let your mother see first. You are still young, and I don’t want my daughter to be deceived.

Don't worry, mom! I kissed my mom on the face. If someone chases your daughter, I will tell you the first time!

Damn girl! My mother scolded me affectionately, and then said to me, "It's nothing to have a boyfriend, but you have to cherish yourself, don't be easy... You know what I mean

I nodded, and when I got up and folded the quilt, I suddenly found a small piece of water stain on the quilt. It was where I clamped my legs before. While my mother was not paying attention, I quickly folded it back and hid it underneath, and then walked out of the bedroom with my mother covering her heart that was about to jump out.

I can't imagine what would happen if my mother knew that I had already had sex with a man, and she was beaten up? Or something else? I can't imagine how long it has been since I was beaten?

In the eyes of many people, I have always been a good girl, obedient and obedient, but I know how stubborn I am. I used to suffer a lot because of this personality. I remember that when I was a child, my mother would always ask first. Is it wrong?

,I think if I admit my mistake directly, maybe she could satisfy her wish, but I never admit my mistake, I always lowered my head and said nothing.

Then I must be beaten. My mother hit me in a simple and rough way. She took off her pants and exposed her butt and lay on the edge of the bed. Then she fell like a broom and raindrops. I can't understand why I was so stubborn at the beginning. Every time I was beaten until my dad couldn't bear it and came away and pulled me away. My mom still refused to admit my mistake. This experience didn't end until I went to middle school. It was probably because my daughter was too old to show her butt, and it was really unruly. Otherwise, my mom would probably keep hitting her.

Of course there is another reason, that is, I seem to have become a little obedient, and my mother can't beat me anymore

But what my mother didn't expect was that my colleagues who were used to her education methods also developed a quirk. As long as they were not beaten to death, I sometimes miss the feeling of being beaten by others. But I never told anyone about this, nor did I say anything to Wang Bin either.

The next day when Wang Bin called me, I told him about masturbation yesterday. He was a little unexpected, but after hearing me say that he failed, he laughed and said to me on the phone: You are so lewd

My nose was crooked at that time: Didn’t you ask me to do it?

I didn't think you would come... Wang Bin explained

I snorted: I don’t know whether it’s lewd or not, but it’s your fault that I am now, you have to take responsibility

OK OK OK OK! Wang Bin responded hurriedly on the other end of the phone

Here is the difference between women and girls. If it were before, even a year ago, I wouldn't say such words no matter what, and the same thing was the same as swearing. Even when I was angry, I would only curse in my heart. That's all.