Chapter 3 Yao Shan: I will definitely not cause trouble for you.

My uncle did not come to me as he said, nor did he knock on my door and ask me for breakfast like he did on the first day.In fact, in the next few days, he deliberately or unintentionally distanced us.

Most of the time every day, I am alone at home, and I quickly learn about my uncle's daily routine.

He gets up before dawn every morning, goes out at five or six o'clock, comes back to have dinner at ninety o'clock, and goes out at around four o'clock in the afternoon, and comes back until dark.

My uncle never cooks, but there are always a lot of pasta such as steamed buns, buns, meat patties, and a steady stream of salted duck eggs in the kitchen.I suspect he bought it directly from a family in the village.

My uncle's silence and evasion lasted for several days. I became more and more tired of loneliness and decided that I had enough of neglect.

If I had to live like someone's burden, I wouldn't have to run far away to this remote countryside, just swallow my anger, grit my teeth and stay under the same roof with my mother.

Another important reason is that my uncle assumed that I would look for food in the kitchen when I was hungry, but my stomach couldn't stand instant noodles and snacks anymore.

I told myself that I had to learn how to cook. I left a note on the refrigerator at night for my uncle to list the ingredients I needed.

The next morning I walked into the kitchen and I was surprised to find that everything was placed on the table.

There are a lot of videos of teaching cooking step by step online. Picking some simple ones is not particularly difficult to make. I even like the fun of cooking as a chemistry experiment.

Sometimes I would leave some for my uncle to taste, and at first I was very worried that he would dislike him.

But the next day when I came to the kitchen, I always saw the dishes and chopsticks that served the food were cleaned and neatly placed in the cabinet.

Although I didn't say a word, I think this is a way for my uncle to accept me.

He doesn't like me, I can understand it completely.

Originally, a person lived a free and easy life, but suddenly there was a relative who was almost the same as a stranger under his nose, and no one liked it.

However, I believe my uncle is not hostile to me.

He just wasn't used to my existence, especially when we were different from men and women.

My friend came to visit on a routine basis two days ago. I kept everything but forgot about birth control pills.

I was embarrassed to tell my uncle, and I thought about enduring it and went there.

But for so many years I have become dependent on birth control pills to relieve pain, and I can't stand the torture of dysmenorrhea overnight.

The next day, I added this item to the shopping note. Fortunately, my uncle bought it without asking much, otherwise I would have to be embarrassed.

About two hours ago, I saw my uncle enter the storage room at the back of the yard.

He didn't know what he was busy with and never came out.

I walked out of the main house and didn't want to continue to wait, but took the initiative to come forward and have a good talk with him.

I don't know what happened between him and my aunt, but no matter what, it has nothing to do with me, and he has no reason to be angry with me.

If my uncle really thinks I'm annoyed, I'll leave, although I don't know where to go.

The night breeze in the countryside is cool, but the air has a strong smell of fertilizer, which is a bit unsightly.

I wrapped my arms around myself and looked up at the night sky.

Because there is no pollution, many stars can be seen in the dark sky.

I couldn't help but stop for a moment. Although I had been in the countryside for more than a week, it seemed that a long time had passed.

My eyes moved away from the beautiful sky and slowly walked towards the door of the backyard storage room.

As soon as I got outside the door, I began to hesitate again.

On the first day I came here, my uncle warned me not to be here.

If my uncle was still angry with me, seeing me in would definitely add fuel to the fire.

He might lose his temper at me or scold me to leave.

I immediately dispelled this concern. My uncle looked irritable, but he should not be a mean person.

Cold violence, perhaps verbal violence should not be.

Not to mention anything else, I prepare food on my order every day, which is very heartwarming.

However, I really don’t know my uncle. All of this is speculation and I can’t count it.

uncle?I walked into the door nervously, shouting loudly, my voice was a little deformed. Are you here?

At that time, my uncle's voice came.He only popped up one word, and I couldn't confirm his position.

Can I come in?I asked timidly.

You've obviously come in.

I swallowed and walked a few more steps towards the storage room.

The lights were on in the room, but the light was dim.

After walking in completely, I realized that the house was very big, not like a storage room, it was simply a small warehouse with various farm tools, fertilizers and insecticide removal potions.

Where are you?I looked around curiously and couldn't find my uncle.

Turn around, Shanshan.

My uncle's voice suddenly became very close to me. I was startled and turned around to see him leaning against the door.

How did you do it?I asked in confusion.

I was right next to the door when you came in. He said to a shelf next to the door, filled with plastic buckets of all sizes.

oh.I reached out and pushed my hair behind my ears, then put my hands into my butt pocket and looked him in the eyes.

My uncle looked away and was busy with his work, but he turned his lips on his face.I couldn't help but wonder if he remembered his mother because I learned this habit from her.

Uncle, I want to say a few words to you.I didn't mean to make you angry. I mentioned aunt that day out of politeness, and I didn't expect to touch your reverse scale.I don’t have any impression of my aunt, but my mother remembers her. She really doesn’t think that my aunt’s absence will cause any loss to you.In fact, my mother felt that it would make her feel more at ease when we got along.I said sincerely.

This is also the reason why I can muster up the courage to take the initiative to find my uncle.

During the day, while he was not at home, my mother and I chatted for half an hour.

It smells far away and smells near. Now that I am not by my side, she is very willing to gossip with me and all kinds of rumors.

I told my mother, aunt and uncle's guess that she was not surprised at all, and I found it a bit like gloating when chatting.

I guess my mother has known it for a long time, and maybe she even asked her uncle.

It is estimated that the content is not suitable for children, and my mother treats me as a child, so she doesn’t want to talk about the details.

She had never liked her uncle's wife before, and she always had contempt in her words.

Of course, she was full of contempt for everything related to Xuncun, but her mother assured me that it would be fine if she talked to her uncle.

Alas, you are really Yao Zhu's daughter. My uncle combed his messy hair with one hand and said: I don't want to mention this matter again, do you understand?I know your mom is curious about you, but it really has nothing to do with you, so it would be best for me if you two can forget this person.

I understand, I won't.I actually wanted to say something else in my heart, but I couldn't remember anything for a while.

Seeing that I was still reluctant to leave, my uncle said helplessly: Alas, Shanshan, your mother shouldn't have let you come here. Living in my house is obviously not the best choice for you.There is nothing here, just a few days ago, you may have been bored.

My shoulders collapsed and I nodded in dejection.

No matter how hard I try, I can't please anyone.

My father left me and 80% got married and had children with another woman to start a family.

My mother now has someone she likes and can't wait to kick me out of the house.

Now my uncle doesn't seem to want me to be by my side and disturb his peaceful life.

Sometimes I wonder if everyone would have lived a better life if there was no me in this world.

The more I thought about it, the sadder I felt, looking at a bag in the corner of the room.

I don't know what it says, but I just stared at it.

After a while, my eyes began to burn, and tears gradually gathered in my eyes.

Shanshan, my uncle called me.

I reached out to pretend to clean my hair, wiped away the tears in my eyes, carefully avoided his gaze, and continued to study the handwriting on the bag, as if it was a kind of vegetable fertilizer.

Shanshan, my uncle stretched out a hand to me and ordered in a more stern tone: Come here.

I still didn't move, and I didn't want him to see his appearance.

I've seen the exact same expression on your mom's face once.I know what your head is thinking. You are thinking wrong. Do you understand?My uncle's tone was still very stiff.

I couldn't help it, and covered my face with my hands, and tears fell.

My uncle came over and reached out and pulled me, and I fell into his arms in a dizzy way.

My uncle hugged me in his arm and gently kissed my head.

This feeling is very strange and immediately makes me feel a little breathless.

Having grown up so old, no man has ever been so close to me.

Although I could still feel my uncle's strong chest and two obvious bulges through a thin layer of clothes.

The body exudes the smell of a mature man, which penetrates the bone marrow.

I felt dizzy, and my heartstring seemed to be bouncing with an invisible finger. My heartbeats faster and my breathing became rapid.

Before he could figure out what was going on, his uncle had already let go of his arms and took a step back.

In any case, this is just the most common polite comfort.

However, that strange warmth fascinated me a little and kept thinking about it in my mind.

I grew up living with my mother, not to mention my father, not even a male elder.

My uncle is the only one. Is this what my father feels like?

I stopped crying and calmed down, but my heart couldn't help but tremble.

Seeing that I was fine, my uncle led me out of the warehouse and back to the main house.

We went upstairs together and stopped at my door.

My uncle cleared his throat and said: As long as you don’t feel bored here, I will welcome you for as long as you stay here.

I felt warm in my heart. Even if my uncle was speaking politely, I was very grateful.

For a moment, my nose felt a little sore again, so I quickly lowered my head, not wanting my uncle to see it.

What disappointed me was that this time my uncle didn’t hug me, but just patted me on the shoulder and said: It’s very late, go to bed quickly.

In fact, it's not too late at all, and it's not even ten o'clock.

I knew my uncle wanted to send me a lot of busy things, and I didn't dare to continue pestering him, but I still felt a little reluctant.

Wrapped his arms around his waist and his cheeks against his chest. I whispered: Uncle, thank you, I will definitely not cause trouble for you.

I raised my head and looked straight at my uncle, hoping that he would see what I said was the truth.

However, my uncle's eyes seemed a little contradictory.

What is he thinking?

I hope I can have some ability to observe words and expressions, but I can do nothing at this time.

I only know that my uncle was obviously very friendly the moment before, but the next moment he became a thousand miles away. It seemed that this was the place he didn't want to stay the least, and I was the person he didn't want to meet the most.

It is understandable that my uncle doesn’t like me to disturb his life, but is it necessary to show it in front of me?

I moved my eyes away in embarrassment and ran back to the room. When I heard my uncle's footsteps leaving, I lay down on the bed with my legs soft.

I was stunned for a while and kept thinking about the feeling of my uncle hugging me just now.

My father has been absent from my in life for a long time. Maybe deep down, I have an Oedipus complex.

This is not the first time I have heard of this word, but I have never thought of connecting it to myself.

I have no clue what it means. Am I using my uncle to fill the role of father?

I naturally picked up my phone to search.

The Oedipus complex is very common. In layman's terms, it refers to a psychological tendency of girls and the feeling of being with their father.

The Oedipus complex is not love, but mostly comes from an appreciation, admiration or reliance for the father.

I read several articles about Oedipus complex in a row, but I didn't see any new content. Instead, there were a lot of little girls who liked the uncle's bloody gossip.

I think of my friends again, wondering what they are doing now?

It was only 10:30 on the phone, but in the countryside, it seemed that it was already midnight.

I hope I can get better tomorrow, at least I won’t worry about being a burden to my relatives in life.