Chapter 12

From that day on, I have been more concerned about my mother

After a busy day, what I can't wait for the most is to go home and stay with my grandma

Being able to eat with her has become the happiest moment of my every day

Sometimes when I am on a business trip, my mother is the one I can’t let go of the most. Every night, I can only sleep soundly after I speak with her on the phone.

Sometimes, when I go shopping with my mother, I will take the initiative to hold her soft little hand

Grandma is very uncomfortable and embarrassed

I told my mother that we are mother and son, so what's wrong with me?

My mother couldn't resist me, so she had to let me go

Gradually, my feelings for my mother are changing quietly. My love for her is no longer the love of a son for his mother, but is mixed with a lot of love that I can't explain clearly and cannot explain.

Especially after I treat my mother as a woman

At the same time, I suffered setbacks again and again in my relationship

I'm already discouraged about getting married and getting married

I finally understood that although I have lived in this city for several years, I am still the son of a village woman in my bones.

Those glitzy girls in the city may not be suitable for me at all

The pure, beautiful and kind woman I've been looking for may have disappeared in this city.

Sometimes I suddenly think, it would be great if my mother and I were not mother and son, I would definitely marry her.

But I immediately scolded myself in my heart. How could I have such dirty and dirty thoughts about my mother? After all, she is my biological mother

But even so, I still can't control myself thinking

I don't know why I became like this

I've found many books, hoping to find the answers

In the book, I learned that when men are young, they usually have sexual fantasies about their mothers and have a complex of Oedipus. This is normal

Whenever I see these, I feel a little relieved

I think the reason why I have abnormal thoughts about my mother may be that I am too young and not mature enough

But this kind of liberation is also short-lived. Now whenever I see my mother and Uncle Tan being together, I feel very uncomfortable. A kind of jealousy that only appears in the lover will arise from the truth.

But I can't tell my mother about all these troubles, because I tried my best to match them together.

I'm in great pain

I feel like I'm about to lose my mother, and I'm about to lose my only spiritual support.