More than one person has scolded me for being cold-blooded and ruthless, and more than one person has scolded me for being without blood and tears
But when I took away the lives of those who insulted me without even moving my fingers, I was still calm and had no feelings at all.
I know very well what I have
The medical skills that can save lives and help the wounded are comparable to immortals and gods. Thousands of loyal groups who only listen to my family, a fairyland Izumo Valley on earth that can live in seclusion for several lifetimes and maintain wealth.
I don't know what I need in this world and in this life
My parents had already traveled around the world when I was not sensible, and everything I left to me was even richer than the emperor of the current dynasty.
It also leaves me with a question I have thought about for more than twenty years:
What exactly will I need?
Are the various human emotions recorded in books?
This is what I don't have, but it's not what I need
Since childhood, I have known that my emotions have not fluctuated. No matter what happens, no matter who lives or dies, no matter what new knowledge I have learned, no matter what treasures the world is competing for, I have no feeling
The thing that beating under the chest is just an organ, and the meaning it should be given does not exist at all
I have long been used to living without emotion, and living is just watching the sunrise and sunset, falling asleep and awake. Even more often, I would rather hold a book and keep reading like this, no matter how day and night
A person's life means he can still wake up
If a person dies, he will sleep forever
The natural laws of life, life and death, the indifferent in my eyes
Leaving Izumo Valley, I always meet people who are dying. Occasional healing will cause crowds to come. I thought I would learn the so-called disgust in the book, but I didn't
Just looking at the begging faces, those cursing faces, and those helpless expressions, I was indifferent
So what if you save more people? Will they tell me what I need?
So what if you kill more people? Will they make me feel a little emotional?
This world is so boring
My survival is just to continue the surname Yuchi.
After wandering around, I returned to Izumo Valley. I planned to have an heir and never go out of the valley again. I lived my unconscious but casual life in the valley with peace of mind.
In order to give me a healthy heir, the elders carefully selected several beautiful women.
For me, I don't feel anything about sex
In the process of creating an heir, I looked at the various expressions of the woman beating under me coldly. In addition to the rapid beating due to movement, my heart was still silent. I was a little curious. What kind of person would the next generation of Yuchi, who has always been passed down from generation to generation?
Will my child be like me?
Even if I think about it, I will leave it behind soon. Even my child is just a product of the things excreted from the body. What does it have to do with me?
As soon as a woman was exposed to her joy, the elders immediately took care of her carefully, gave her the identity of the hostess of Izumoya, sent the other women away, and returned me to a quiet place.
At that time, I didn't know that the nearly eight months were the last silent period in my life.
Until that night when the moon was hanging high, my heart was clamoring hard as I was reading a book.
The first time I had this situation in my life, I almost thought I had suddenly suffered from some evil disease
Looking at the pulse of my left wrist, I was still thinking about whether to diagnose myself. One of the elders rushed over and said, "The woman who is pregnant with my blood is about to give birth."
An inexplicable impulse made me put down the book and followed the elder to the woman's cross-age courtyard.
The air was full of blood. Without thinking, I walked into the woman's bedroom. The whole room was full of panic and could not enter my eyes. I just looked at the woman's tall belly and raised my eyebrows. Under the helpless bloody conditions of the midwives, a ball of flesh was taken out from the woman's body.
Warm and tender, although scarlet and sticky, the weight gently placed in my palm made my eyes unable to move away and my heart softened quietly. The warm taste was like warm sweet wine, rising from the chest, and it surged out strangely, unable to stop
I was a little surprised when I noticed the rise of the corners of my lips. I was not deliberately tugging on the muscles on my face, but looking at the ball of flesh in my hand, I would curl the corners of my lips and my chest would be filled with warmth.
This doesn't feel bad
What's even worse is that I realized that this ball of meat gave me a hint of emotion in my life, and it can be summarized into two words: satisfaction
The person around me couldn't scream at the woman on the bed, so I just squinted and stretched out to take the midwife who was on my hand.
Midwife's cowardly explanation, she just wanted to help her child take a bath
A strong sense of displeasure immediately burst into my heart. The strange emotions made me want to kill someone, and the target was this midwife who dared to steal the meat ball from me.
Holding the satisfaction of the meat ball and the bad emotions of wanting to kill people, I couldn't take into account the surprised gazes of the elders beside me. I just lowered my eyes and looked at the meat ball in my hands for a while before gently putting it into the arms of another midwife, turning around and leaving
But when I took away the lives of those who insulted me without even moving my fingers, I was still calm and had no feelings at all.
I know very well what I have
The medical skills that can save lives and help the wounded are comparable to immortals and gods. Thousands of loyal groups who only listen to my family, a fairyland Izumo Valley on earth that can live in seclusion for several lifetimes and maintain wealth.
I don't know what I need in this world and in this life
My parents had already traveled around the world when I was not sensible, and everything I left to me was even richer than the emperor of the current dynasty.
It also leaves me with a question I have thought about for more than twenty years:
What exactly will I need?
Are the various human emotions recorded in books?
This is what I don't have, but it's not what I need
Since childhood, I have known that my emotions have not fluctuated. No matter what happens, no matter who lives or dies, no matter what new knowledge I have learned, no matter what treasures the world is competing for, I have no feeling
The thing that beating under the chest is just an organ, and the meaning it should be given does not exist at all
I have long been used to living without emotion, and living is just watching the sunrise and sunset, falling asleep and awake. Even more often, I would rather hold a book and keep reading like this, no matter how day and night
A person's life means he can still wake up
If a person dies, he will sleep forever
The natural laws of life, life and death, the indifferent in my eyes
Leaving Izumo Valley, I always meet people who are dying. Occasional healing will cause crowds to come. I thought I would learn the so-called disgust in the book, but I didn't
Just looking at the begging faces, those cursing faces, and those helpless expressions, I was indifferent
So what if you save more people? Will they tell me what I need?
So what if you kill more people? Will they make me feel a little emotional?
This world is so boring
My survival is just to continue the surname Yuchi.
After wandering around, I returned to Izumo Valley. I planned to have an heir and never go out of the valley again. I lived my unconscious but casual life in the valley with peace of mind.
In order to give me a healthy heir, the elders carefully selected several beautiful women.
For me, I don't feel anything about sex
In the process of creating an heir, I looked at the various expressions of the woman beating under me coldly. In addition to the rapid beating due to movement, my heart was still silent. I was a little curious. What kind of person would the next generation of Yuchi, who has always been passed down from generation to generation?
Will my child be like me?
Even if I think about it, I will leave it behind soon. Even my child is just a product of the things excreted from the body. What does it have to do with me?
As soon as a woman was exposed to her joy, the elders immediately took care of her carefully, gave her the identity of the hostess of Izumoya, sent the other women away, and returned me to a quiet place.
At that time, I didn't know that the nearly eight months were the last silent period in my life.
Until that night when the moon was hanging high, my heart was clamoring hard as I was reading a book.
The first time I had this situation in my life, I almost thought I had suddenly suffered from some evil disease
Looking at the pulse of my left wrist, I was still thinking about whether to diagnose myself. One of the elders rushed over and said, "The woman who is pregnant with my blood is about to give birth."
An inexplicable impulse made me put down the book and followed the elder to the woman's cross-age courtyard.
The air was full of blood. Without thinking, I walked into the woman's bedroom. The whole room was full of panic and could not enter my eyes. I just looked at the woman's tall belly and raised my eyebrows. Under the helpless bloody conditions of the midwives, a ball of flesh was taken out from the woman's body.
Warm and tender, although scarlet and sticky, the weight gently placed in my palm made my eyes unable to move away and my heart softened quietly. The warm taste was like warm sweet wine, rising from the chest, and it surged out strangely, unable to stop
I was a little surprised when I noticed the rise of the corners of my lips. I was not deliberately tugging on the muscles on my face, but looking at the ball of flesh in my hand, I would curl the corners of my lips and my chest would be filled with warmth.
This doesn't feel bad
What's even worse is that I realized that this ball of meat gave me a hint of emotion in my life, and it can be summarized into two words: satisfaction
The person around me couldn't scream at the woman on the bed, so I just squinted and stretched out to take the midwife who was on my hand.
Midwife's cowardly explanation, she just wanted to help her child take a bath
A strong sense of displeasure immediately burst into my heart. The strange emotions made me want to kill someone, and the target was this midwife who dared to steal the meat ball from me.
Holding the satisfaction of the meat ball and the bad emotions of wanting to kill people, I couldn't take into account the surprised gazes of the elders beside me. I just lowered my eyes and looked at the meat ball in my hands for a while before gently putting it into the arms of another midwife, turning around and leaving
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